Episode 2.10 -- “Noel”

THE WEST WING
“NOEL”
TELEPLAY BY: AARON SORKIN
STORY BY: PETER PARNELL
DIRECTED BY: THOMAS SCHLAMME


TEASER

FADE IN: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE - A SECLUDED ROOM - DAY
CHRISTMAS EVE
Josh pushes the double doors into a slightly bright room. Waiting for him inside is the 
scheduled therapist, DR. STANLEY KEYWORTH. In the corner of the room is KAYTHA TRASK. 
Josh approaches them to say hello as Dr. Keyworth and Kaytha stand up.

JOSH
Hi.

STANLEY KEYWORTH
Hi, Josh.

KAYTHA TRASK
Hi.

STANLEY
I’m Stanley Keyworth. This is Kaytha Trask.

JOSH
Josh Lyman.

KAYTHA
Hi.

JOSH
Do I call you doctor?

STANLEY
I’m sorry?

JOSH
Is it Dr. Keyworth?

STANLEY
Oh, whatever you want. You can call me Stanley if you want.

JOSH
[to Kaytha] And Dr...? I’m sorry?

KAYTHA
Trask. But it’s not doctor. I’m not a psychologist.

STANLEY
[as he sits] Kaytha is, uh, training as a traumatologist.

JOSH
I was wondering why there were two of you.

STANLEY
Kaytha’s training. You don’t mind, do you?

JOSH
No.

Kaytha slowly goes back to the corner to her chair. Stanley eyes Josh’s bandaged hand.

STANLEY
What happened to your hand?

JOSH
[sits] I-I uh, I cut it putting down a glass.

STANLEY
It broke?

JOSH
Yeah.

STANLEY
The glass broke?

JOSH
Yeah.

Stanley writes something in one of his papers.

STANLEY
Well, uh, let me tell you about who we are.

JOSH
Sure.

STANLEY
We’re from ATVA.

JOSH
Yeah.

STANLEY
That’s the American Trauma Victims Association.

JOSH
Yeah.

STANLEY
We’re commonly called in by the government to work with trauma victims. I’ll give you 
some examples. The pipe bomb at Lancaster Middle School. We worked with the parents and 
the kids...

JOSH
[interrupts] Tulsa, Hurricane Beth, the Chatham fires, the Iowa tornadoes, the FBI raid 
in Rock Creek.

STANLEY
So, you are familiar with us?

JOSH
Dr. Keyworth, I’m the Deputy White House Chief of Staff. I oversee 1100 White House 
employees. I answer directly to Leo McGarry and the President of the United States. 
Do you think you’re talking to the paperboy?

STANLEY
No.

JOSH
In your wildest dreams did you imagine that I’d walk in this room without knowing exactly 
who you are and what you do?

STANLEY
No.

JOSH
Then why did you lie to me right off the bat?

STANLEY
Josh...

JOSH
[indicating Kaytha] She’s not here training!

STANLEY
As a matter of fact, she is.

JOSH
I read briefing books everyday on subjects considerably more complicated than ATVA.

STANLEY
She is here training in trauma therapy.

JOSH
Yeah, but that’s not why there are two of you.

STANLEY
No.

JOSH
That’s not the reason why there are two of you.

STANLEY
No.

JOSH
I get up, go to the bathroom, go to my office, answer the phone -- one of you watches me.

STANLEY
Yeah.

JOSH
Stanley, you got off to a bad start.

STANLEY
Yes, I did.

JOSH
Yes, you did.

STANLEY
Let’s start again.

JOSH
You gonna lie to me this time?

STANLEY
No. You gonna lie to me?

JOSH
Haven’t yet.

STANLEY
Really?

JOSH
Yeah.

Stanley nods and waits a moment.

STANLEY
How did you cut your hand?

Josh suddenly does not respond.

STANLEY
You’re not talking to the paperboy, either, Josh.

We close in on the speechless Josh and --

SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES.
END TEASER
* * *

ACT ONE

FADE IN: INT. SECLUDED ROOM - DAY
Josh’s therapy continues.

STANLEY
I’d asked a woman for some coffee a few minutes ago. Do you want some coffee?

JOSH
No thanks.

STANLEY
Tea?

JOSH
No.

STANLEY
Maybe later.

JOSH
Yeah.

STANLEY 
The woman I asked works for you I think... Donna?

JOSH
Yeah.

STANLEY
She works for you?

JOSH
She’s my assistant.

STANLEY
Was she at Rosalyn?

JOSH
It’s Rosslyn.

STANLEY
I’m sorry?

JOSH
The shooting took place at Rosslyn, Virginia, not Rosalyn.

STANLEY
I’m sorry. I’m not from around here.

JOSH
Where are you from?

STANLEY
San Francisco, California.

JOSH
I always thought it was San Franchisco.

STANLEY
Was she with you?

JOSH
Donna?

STANLEY
Yeah.

JOSH
Nope.

STANLEY
Who was with you?

JOSH
Everybody was with me. We’d just gone to a Town Hall meeting. We’d just gotten off 
television.

STANLEY
Who’s everybody?

JOSH
The President travels with a large group of people.

STANLEY
Who’s...?

JOSH
It was geared to young people. There were Department of Education people, event staff, 
obviously C.J. Cregg and the press corps, Leo McGarry was there, Bob Shanahan, Toby 
Ziegler, Ziegler’s deputy Sam Seaborn, Zoey Bartlet was there obviously, Charlie Young...

STANLEY
Who was with you?

Josh makes a face.

STANLEY
Josh, I’m trying to get you to tell me what happened.

JOSH
Stanley, I walked out of the building, I heard gunshots, people started screaming, I woke 
up in a hospital room.

STANLEY
Okay. What happened 3 weeks ago?

JOSH
I don’t know what you’re referring to.

STANLEY
I don’t know what I’m referring to either but some of the people you work with became 
concerned with your behavior three weeks ago.

JOSH
Well, I’ve been concerned with their behavior since long before that.

STANLEY
Josh.

JOSH
They were talking about the pilot.

STANLEY
The pilot?

JOSH
Robert Cano, the Air Force pilot.

STANLEY
And what about him?

JOSH
I don’t know.

STANLEY
You just said they were talking about the pilot

JOSH
I said they may have been talking about the pilot.

STANLEY
Well that’s not what you said.

JOSH
There was a lot going on. There was the IMF treaty, the petroleum reserves, Alaska, the 
President’s...

STANLEY
But you mentioned the pilot.

JOSH
I didn’t mention the pilot for any specific reason. I was saying there was a lot 
happening three weeks ago.

STANLEY
Okay then let’s talk about three weeks ago.

CUT TO: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE LOBBY - THREE WEEKS AGO
Josh enters the White House lobby where Toby is standing watching a brass quintet play 
“Joy To The World” very loudly.

JOSH
Toby!

TOBY
Yeah?

JOSH
What the hell’s going on?

TOBY
What do you mean?

JOSH
Who are these guys?

TOBY
They’re a brass quintet.

JOSH
I’m sorry?

TOBY 
[yelling] A brass quintet... two trumpets, trombone, baritone horn, French horn. Do you 
like them?

JOSH
Do I like them for what?

TOBY
To play Christmas carols here in the lobby in the morning and evenings as people are 
coming and going.

JOSH
No.

TOBY
Why?

JOSH
Because this isn’t the Paramus mall.

TOBY
Let me tell you something, the last two Christmases in this White House I’ve been accused 
of not being in the proper spirit. I was called names. Not this year! For the next three 
weeks I will be filling this lobby with music in the mornings and evenings so that we may 
all experience this season of... [turning to musicians with annoyance] Would you people 
stop playing for one damn minute!

The brass quintet dies out.

TOBY
This season of peace and joy.

JOSH
Okay.

TOBY
So what do you think?

JOSH
They seem fine.

TOBY
And the loose change they collect goes to pay for musical instruments in DC public schools.

They start to walk.

JOSH
Toby, Ben Zaharian stepped off the reservation last night.

TOBY
What’d he do? [over shoulder] You guys can keep playing.

The band starts up again and can be heard throughout the halls.

JOSH
He was at a Q&A at the NRDC about drilling the North Slope. He was asked if the President 
would consider tapping into the SPR and he said tapping into the SPR has a lot of merit.

TOBY
I’ll get into it.

JOSH
Thank you. 

Josh exits. Toby sees Sam.

TOBY
Sam!

SAM
Yeah.

TOBY
Ben Zaharian did a Q&A last night and he was asked a question about the strategic 
petroleum reserve.

SAM
And he said the SPR’s for emergencies like times of war?

TOBY
He said tapping into the SPR has a lot of merit.

SAM
I’ll talk to a deputy.

TOBY
Would you please go in and give C.J. a heads up?

CUT TO: INT. THE PRESS ROOM - CONTINUOUS
C.J. is at the briefing. Carol is by the side.

C.J.
...And expressed his confidence when the IMF and the World Bank meet in Prague next week 
some of those restrictions will be relaxed.

REPORTERS
C.J.!

FEMALE REPORTER
To what extent could Pete Didian’s objections throw a wrench into the works?

C.J. 
Well congress isn’t in session but you mean...

Sam enters.

FEMALE REPORTER
Yeah after the first.

C.J.
He sits on the foreign ep sub committee so... Mark.

MARK
This is way out of left field but do you know anything about a woman... I don’t know how 
to say this... going a little crazy during a tour.

C.J.
A White House tour?

Sam passes Carol a note who passes it along to C.J.

MARK
Yeah, a woman saw a painting and started screaming.

C.J.
I don’t know Mark. There’s a painting of Dolly Madison in the grand foyer. You catch it 
in the wrong light it can scare the...

The reporters chuckle.

MARK
Okay.

C.J.
What else? Katie?

KATIE
C.J., last night the energy secretary gave a speech at the Natural Resource Defense 
Council about the perils of drilling on the North Slope. During a Q&A he was asked about 
tapping into the Strategic Petroleum Reserve to help ease oil prices. He responded that 
the idea had a lot of merit. Does this signal a shift in policy since last June?

C.J. glances at Sam who gives her a small nod.

C.J.
No, it doesn’t, but I will say that a bad idea in June isn’t necessarily a bad idea in 
December.

KATIE
Why?

C.J.
You don’t need to lower the price of heating oil during the summer. Thank you everyone.

C.J. goes over to Sam. Both walk out to the HALLWAY.

SAM
Thank you.

C.J. 
Is somebody going to speak to somebody?

SAM
I’ll talk to a deputy.

C.J.
Please.

SAM
What do you suppose that was about with the woman?

C.J.
What woman?

SAM 
The woman who went crazy on the tour?

C.J.
We get about five of those a week.

SAM
Really?

C.J.
Yeah.

SAM
What exactly about the White House tour makes them go crazy?

C.J.
The blue blazers? You’re going to talk to someone at the energy department.

SAM
Yeah.

They separate. JOSH comes up and begins to walk through the halls with C.J.

JOSH
Good save.

C.J.
Thank you. Where’s the President?

JOSH
The situation room.

C.J.
What’s going on?

JOSH 
Something about a pilot.

CUT TO: INT. THE SITUATION ROOM - DAY
Enter the President and Leo. Everyone stands.

BARTLET
What’s going on? Sit down.

MAN 1
Mr. President an F16 Falcon from the 27-fighter wing at Cannon Air Force Base in New 
Mexico has left his group.

BARTLET
What does that mean?

KEN
Returning home from an exercise the flight leader visually realized that the tail plane 
was no longer in formation.

MAN 1
There was no communication from the aircraft and now it refuses to respond to urgent 
radio calls.

BARTLET
Is he in there alone? Is there a crew?

LEO
The Falcon is a single seat fighter.

BARTLET
Did he crash?

MAN 2
If he crashed he would have triggered electronic signals that would have been picked up 
by ground base.

BARTLET
Is there any chance he’s trying to contact the ground and can’t?

MAN 1
Massive collapse of this plane’s communication system isn’t very likely.

LEO
Ken, what does he have up there?

KEN
Well he’s got a 20mm Vulcan cannon and 7 AIM sidewinder missiles.

BARTLET
Is his intention to defect with a military asset or his intention to blow something up?

MAN 1
We don’t know what his intention is.

BARTLET
Don’t our fighter pilors have to go through some kind of psychological testing?

KEN
Oh they go through extensive screening sir. He was deemed psychologically fit to fly.

BARTLET
Let me ask a ridiculous question and I know the answer is no. Is there any way to bring 
this plane down without shooting it down?

MAN 1
No sir.

BARTLET
What about populated areas?

KEN
We can take him over the Sierra Madres.

MAN 1
Mr. President, it’s possible the pilot lost consciousness due to a dramatic loss of air 
pressure and that’s why this is happening.

MAN 2
We’ve scrambled F16 out of Edwards to get a visual sighting.

MAN 1
If the pilot is dead they’ll see signs in the cockpit, if he’s conscious he’ll know he’s 
been painted and he’ll be given an order by the interceptors to land at a designated area.

KEN
If he doesn’t that’s when we make a decision.

BARTLET
Yeah okay.

STANLEY [VO]
And that’s the first time you heard about the pilot?

CUT TO: INT. THE SECLUDED MEETING ROOM - PRESENT
We go back to Josh and his meeting.

JOSH
[very tired] I’m sorry?

STANLEY
That was the first time you heard about the pilot?

JOSH
No I wasn’t in the situation room. I don’t sit in on those meetings.

STANLEY
But that day was when you first heard out the pilot?

JOSH
Yeah they’d tell me a little later because I had an assignment.

STANLEY
Having to do with the pilot?

JOSH
Yeah.

STANLEY
What was it?

JOSH
I’m sorry if this question sounds rude but how long will we be here today?

STANLEY
Well I’m sorry if this answer sounds rude but as long as I want. I was asked here by 
Leo McGarry.

JOSH
I know who asked you here.

STANLEY
Three weeks ago, the pilot.

JOSH
For the fourth time there was a lot going on that day and I’m not sure why we have to be 
fixated on...

STANLEY
What was the assignment with the pilot?

JOSH
I was supposed to look into his personal records to figure out why he...

There’s a loud knocking on the door. Josh jumps. We flash to Josh in a white dress shirt 
and undone tie at home as someone knocks on his door. He looks very startled and his 
hand is bleeding. We cut back to the room.

STANLEY
It’s the coffee, Josh.

FADE OUT.
END ACT ONE
* * *

ACT TWO

FADE IN: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE HALLWAY - THREE WEEKS AGO
Leo and Josh are walking down the hallway together. Leo is holding a coffee cup. 

JOSH
When did you find out? 

LEO 
We were in the situation room about an hour ago. 

JOSH 
How long has he been up there? 

LEO 
Ninety minutes since he broke formation.

He grabs a cookie as they continue walking.

LEO [cont.]
They've deployed the 57th Fighter Wing from Nellis, Nevada, the 388th, the 58th from 
Arizona, the 301st out of Texas. 

JOSH 
How long before I see this on television? 

LEO 
I'm amazed News Center 4 doesn't have their traffic helicopter up there right now. 

JOSH 
And how long before we make visual contact? 

LEO 
About ten minutes. 

JOSH 
What do we know about the pilot? 

LEO 
Not as much as I'd like to. 

JOSH 
Want me to get into it? 

LEO 
Get the biographical info. How did this guy get through a fairly intense psychological 
screening process? 

JOSH 
Yeah. 

LEO 
We gave this guy an $18 million warplane. 

JOSH 
I'll get in to it. 

Leo walks off, and Josh keeps walking. He bumps into Donna.

JOSH 
Sorry. Donna. 

DONNA 
I have the personnel file for the pilot. 

JOSH 
How did you know I was going to ask you for that? 

DONNA 
I'm tuned to you. 

JOSH 
Seriously. 

DONNA 
I anticipate your every need. 

JOSH 
Yeah, but to be walking by with the guy's personnel file? 

DONNA 
They called me ten minutes ago, Josh, don't be a yutz. 

They both stop walking for a beat. 

JOSH 
Oh. 

They resume walking, and go through the LOBBY, where the quintet is playing “God Rest Ye 
Merry, Gentlemen.” 

DONNA 
On the other hand, you're a very handsome man. 

JOSH 
What do you need? 

DONNA 
You're a very powerful and a very handsome man. 

JOSH 
What do you need? 

DONNA 
You know how I never ask you for anything? 

JOSH 
[sounding annoyed] What do you need? 

DONNA 
Yo-Yo Ma is playing at the Christmas party. 

JOSH 
Which one? 

DONNA 
Congressional. 

JOSH 
Fine. 

DONNA 
I can come? 

JOSH 
Give me the file. 

DONNA 
Can I come? 

JOSH 
To the Congressional Christmas party? 

DONNA 
Yeah. 

JOSH 
Yeah. 

DONNA 
You can take your Pablo Casals, you can keep your Rostopovich, I say Yo-Yo Ma rules. 

JOSH 
Hmm. 

DONNA 
What? 

DONNA stops to make copies. 

JOSH 
[looking over the file] This guy? The pilot? 

DONNA 
What about him? 

JOSH 
He's got the same birthday as me. I'll be in here. 

Josh heads for his office. Sam walks up to him. 

SAM 
Josh. 

JOSH 
Yeah? 

SAM 
So I spoke to Jessie Witt at Energy. 

JOSH 
Yeah. 

SAM 
I dressed her down pretty good. 

JOSH 
They're not going to get us to change our policy on the SPR by announcing that we should 
change our policy. [goes behind his desk]

SAM 
And I told her that, I told her that in no uncertain terms. [looks down at the file]

JOSH 
And? 

SAM 
I think we should change our policy. 

JOSH 
I kind of have to do this thing right now. Can we talk about it later? 

SAM 
Yeah. [starts to leave]

JOSH 
[sits] You know this guy, the pilot? 

SAM 
Yeah. [turns]

JOSH 
We have the same birthday. 

SAM 
Okay, well, I'm gonna go talk to Leo about the SPR. 

JOSH 
Yeah. 

Sam leaves and Josh begins to look at the file. 

CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY
C.J. and a woman are walking in the hall. 

WOMAN 
C.J. 

C.J 
Yeah? 

WOMAN 
Bernard Thatch from the White House Visitor's office is waiting for you inside. 

C.J. 
Yeah, I asked him to come see me. 

The woman walks off and C.J. enters THE ROOSEVELT ROOM, where BERNARD THATCH is waiting 
for her. He is a tall guy with a hard English accent.

BERNARD THATCH
Claudia Jean. 

C.J. 
How you doing, Bernard? [They shake hands.]

BERNARD 
I'm not at all well. 

C.J. 
That's not unusual, is it? 

BERNARD 
No. 

C.J. 
I understand there was an incident on a tour. 

BERNARD 
There's always an incident on a tour. People touch things. 

C.J. 
Well, you should punish them for that, Bernard. 

BERNARD 
I've begged my supervisors to allow me. 

C.J. 
This had to do with a painting. 

BERNARD 
Oh, yes. It's all in the report. It wasn't a problem. 

C.J. 
Yeah, but it made it to the Press Room, so I just wanted to check in. 

BERNARD 
The guide was pointing out the Gustave Callioux hanging outside the Blue Room. 

C.J. nods.

BERNARD
A woman began screaming completely incoherently. 

C.J. 
In English? 

BERNARD 
If it was a language at all, its origin was unknown to me. I sent for the agent on duty, 
who attempted to take a statement, but not speaking whatever language was simply escorted 
her out of the building. 

C.J. 
Well, okay. Thanks for stopping by. 

They begin to move towards the door. 

BERNARD 
C.J., your necklace is a monument to bourgeois taste. 

C.J. 
Thank you. [fingers necklace] 

BERNARD 
You're welcome. 

Bernard exits the room, and C.J. follows him. They proceed to have a pedoconference. 

C.J. 
Listen, who is Gustave Callioux, and how long has this painting been hanging outside the 
Blue Room? 

BERNARD 
Callioux was a contemporary of Courbet, who was considerably more gifted. This is a 
painting of the cliffs of Etretat, cleverly titled "The Cliffs of Etretat. It is a minor 
work. 

C.J. 
What's it doing here? 

BERNARD 
It was on loan from the Musee d'Orsay to the National Gallery. The President, on a visit 
to the gallery, and possessing even less taste in fine art than you have in accessories, 
announced that he liked the painting. The French government offered it as a gift to the 
White House. [Both stop walking.] I suppose in retribution for EuroDisney. So here it 
hangs, like a gym sock on a shower rod. 

C.J. 
You're a snob. 

BERNARD 
Yes. 

Bernard leaves, and C.J., smiling, walks the other way. 

BARTLET [VO] 
I'd stay on the phone with Cashmen and Berryhill. 

CUT TO: INT. THE ROOSEVELT ROOM - DAY
Charlie enters in on a meeting, and we see Bartlet sitting with several staffers. 

BARTLET 
They're going to know when the F-16's have painted him before I will. 

WOMAN 
Thank you, Mr. President. 

Everyone gets up and moves to leave. 

BARTLET 
Thank you. 

Charlie hands Bartlet a folder. 

BARTLET 
When I was in tenth grade me and my friends took my dad's Ford Country Squire for a 
joyride to Vermont. He locked me in the garage till Easter. 

They exit the room, into the HALLWAY.

BARTLET
What do you think we should do with this pilot once we get his ass on the ground? 

CHARLIE 
You think that's gonna happen? 

BARTLET 
[sadly] No. 

CHARLIE 
Mr. President, they've asked me to talk to you about your Christmas cards. 

BARTLET 
What about them? 

They both walk in THE OVAL OFFICE.

CHARLIE 
They want to know which ones you're going to sign by hand and which ones get the autopen. 

BARTLET 
I'm gonna sign them all by hand. 

CHARLIE 
Sir, we went through this last year. 

BARTLET 
I'm gonna sign them all by hand. 

CHARLIE 
I'm not sure that's practical. 

BARTLET 
I don't like the whole idea of the autopen. 

CHARLIE 
Nonetheless. 

BARTLET 
Let's do them all by hand. How many can there be? 

CHARLIE 
Christmas cards. 

BARTLET 
How many am I sending out? 

CHARLIE 
1,110,000. 

BARTLET 
Seriously? 

CHARLIE 
Yes, sir. 

BARTLET 
I'm sending out 1.1 million Christmas cards? [sits down] 

CHARLIE 
It's a three-tier system, sir. There are about a thousand names on the First Family's 
list, then there are about a one hundred thousand campaign workers and contributors. 

BARTLET 
Who are the other million? 

CHARLIE 
You send a Christmas card to everyone who writes a letter to the White House. 

BARTLET 
I do? 

CHARLIE 
Yes, sir. And somewhere around a million people wrote you letters this year. 

BARTLET 
Okay, but some of those were death threats. 

CHARLIE 
They've weeded those out. 

BARTLET 
Well, I'm not signing 1.1 million cards. 

CHARLIE 
I wouldn't think so. 

Charlie starts to leave, and Leo enters.

LEO 
Mr. President? 

BARTLET 
1.1 million cards? 

CHARLIE 
Yes, sir. [exits] 

BARTLET 
[to Leo] Yeah? 

LEO 
Situation Room. 

BARTLET 
What happened? 

CUT TO: INT. MEETING ROOM - PRESENT

JOSH 
He was dead. 

STANLEY 
The pilot. 

JOSH 
Robert Cano, yeah. Leo came and told me. 

STANLEY 
What had you found out about him? 

JOSH 
[quietly] What do you mean? 

STANLEY 
You were supposed to learn about the pilot and brief the President. 

JOSH 
I didn't learn anything.

STANLEY 
Well, you must have learned something. 

JOSH 
There wasn't time. There was maybe twenty minutes between when I got the assignment and 
when Leo came in. 

STANLEY 
How'd he die? 

JOSH 
Cano? 

STANLEY 
Yeah. 

JOSH 
He crashed into a mountain, Stanley. 

STANLEY 
No, I mean, was it ‘cause he lost oxygen? Did you have to shoot him down? 

JOSH 
This was on the front page of the newspapers. 

CUT TO: INT. JOSH’S OFFICE - THREE WEEKS AGO
Josh in his office, looking at photos. 

STANLEY [VO]
Well, it wasn't in the front page of the sports section, so... 

There is a knock on Josh's door. Leo enters. 

LEO 
It's over. 

JOSH 
The F-16? 

LEO 
Yeah, he went into a mountain north of Mexico City. 

JOSH 
Was the pilot alive when it crashed? 

LEO 
Yeah. 

JOSH 
We know that for sure, or we're just...?

LEO 
There was a radio communication. 

JOSH 
From the pilot? 

LEO 
Yeah. 

JOSH 
What'd he say? 

LEO 
He said, "It wasn't the plane." 

JOSH 
That's it? 

LEO 
Yeah. 

JOSH 
Okay. [begins to look through the photos again]

LEO 
[sits] So what do you know? 

JOSH 
The same things you know. He's from Tallahassee. He trained at Laughlin on T-37's. 

LEO'S BODY, STANLEY'S VOICE 
What else? 

CUT TO: INT. MEETING ROOM - PRESENT 

JOSH 
Stanley. 

STANLEY 
What else did you know? 

JOSH 
I didn't know anything. I knew his, I knew his name, I knew his rank, uh, I knew where 
he trained. I knew his missions. 

STANLEY 
What else? 

JOSH 
We had the same birthday. 

STANLEY 
That's right. And what else? 

CUT TO: INT. JOSH’S OFFICE - THREE WEEKS AGO

JOSH 
He's got some medals. One of them's a... Purple Heart. 

LEO 
For what? 

JOSH 
His plane was shot at over Bosnia. It caught fire, he ejected. 

We hear sounds of gunshots and screaming faintly in the background.

JOSH [cont.]
And there were some injuries. 

The sounds continue, with sirens, and slowly fade away as the camera turns back to Stanley.

STANLEY 
That's right, Josh. That's right. 

FADE OUT.
END ACT TWO
* * *

ACT THREE

FADE IN: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE LOBBY - FIVE DAYS AGO
Bagpipes are heard in the White House Lobby. There is a band of traditionally dressed 
Scottish musicians playing near the Christmas tree. Josh walks by Toby, who is standing 
next to them. 

JOSH
Toby. 

TOBY 
Yeah. 

JOSH 
Bagpipes? 

TOBY 
Yeah. 

JOSH 
You put bagpipes in the lobby? 

TOBY 
Not just any bagpipes, Josh. Those guys are the Duncan McTavish Clarney Highland Bagpipe 
Regiment. 

They start walking.

JOSH
They're a bagpipe regiment. 

TOBY 
They're three guys from Delaware, but they can play. 

JOSH 
Two weeks ago, it was a brass quintet; yesterday, it was the Capital Blue Plate Banjo Band. 

TOBY 
Capitol Bluegrass Banjo Brigade and those guys were featured on the local news. 

JOSH 
They're pretty loud. 

TOBY 
The bagpipes? 

JOSH 
Yeah. 

TOBY 
That's because the shepherds would need to call in the goats from high atop the hills... 

JOSH 
Shepherds herd sheep, they don't do it in Delaware and these guys can't play in the lobby! 

TOBY 
They money that people toss in their cases will go to buy band uniforms for the 
St. Mary's Assumption Marching Red Raiders. 

JOSH 
Toby, I'm not kidding. 

TOBY 
These guys have a fourteen-song repertoire... 

JOSH 
[screaming] I can hear the damn sirens all over the building! [long pause] The... bagpipes. 

TOBY 
[stops] Josh? 

JOSH 
The... bagpipes. 

Josh walks away from Toby, who is standing, watching him.

JOSH
They can't play in the lobby! 

C.J. walks out a door in front of Toby. 

C.J. 
Toby! 

TOBY 
[still looks as Josh heads for his office.] Yeah. 

C.J. 
Hang on a second. Carol, a few days ago I met with Bernard Thatch of the White House 
Visitors Office. 

CAROL [OS]
Yes, he didn't like my shoes. 

C.J. 
He said the Secret Service took a report from a woman who had some kind of an episode 
on a tour? 

TOBY 
C.J.? 

C.J. 
Uh, hang on. I should really glance at that report, could you get it for me? 

CAROL 
Yeah. [leaves]

C.J. 
Toby, if I get asked the SPR question... 

Josh comes out of his office and starts yelling. 

JOSH 
Would it be possible to hold the noise down out here?! 

DONNA 
[stops in front of him] Do you need something? 

JOSH 
I... need the CBO spec. 

DONNA [OS]
It's on your desk.
 
Toby and C.J. are watching, stunned.

JOSH 
It's like a damn hockey game out here. 

He slams his door shut.

CUT TO: INT. MEETING ROOM - PRESENT
Stanley and Josh are sitting across from each other by a table. 

STANLEY 
Did you know at this point that there were people who were concerned about you? 

JOSH 
I don't... I'm not really comfortable with that question. 

STANLEY 
I mean concerned with your behavior. 

JOSH 
I understand what you meant. 

STANLEY 
If you look back to the days following the pilot, do you remember anything unusual about 
your behavior? 

JOSH 
No. 

STANLEY 
Why do you think your friends were saying that? 

JOSH 
This is incredibly prosecutorial! 

STANLEY 
I don't care! 

JOSH 
I think if you want to know what my friends were thinking and why they were thinking it, 
you should talk to my friends. 

STANLEY 
I did. 

JOSH 
So I gather. 

STANLEY 
What was going on on the 19th? 

JOSH 
The 19th of this month? 

STANLEY 
Five days ago. 

JOSH 
Stanley, to say ‘what was going on on the 19th...' the number of things that go on here 
during a day... 

STANLEY 
Name some things that went on five days ago. 

CUT TO: INT. C.J.’S OFFICE - FIVE DAYS AGO
C.J. is on a couch with a drink in her hand and an old photograph. Josh walks in. 

JOSH 
C.J.! C.J.! C.J.! 

C.J. 
[preoccupied with the photograph] Yeah. 

JOSH 
What are you doing? 

C.J. 
Eating lunch. 

JOSH 
Why is... 

C.J. 
Something's strange about this photograph. 

JOSH 
Listen, why is there no more information coming about Robert Cano? 

C.J. 
‘Cause there's no new information. 

JOSH 
Okay. [turns to leave the office] 

C.J. 
There isn't! 

JOSH
[turns around and laughs sarcastically] You accept that? 

C.J. 
Yeah! 

JOSH 
A perfectly healthy air force pilot kills himself and nobody's asking why? 

C.J. 
A lot of people are asking why, we just don't know why except that he obviously wasn't 
perfectly healthy anymore! 

JOSH 
All right. [turns to leave again] 

C.J. 
Hang on. [gets up and shows him the picture] Look at this picture. Does something in 
this picture look familiar? 

JOSH 
It's a man holding a little girl. 

C.J. 
Look behind the man on the wall. 

JOSH 
The painting. 

C.J. 
Yeah. 

JOSH 
Yeah. 

C.J. 
It looks familiar? 

JOSH 
It's the same one that's hanging outside the Blue Room. 

Josh walks out as Donna passes by him. 

C.J. 
Are you kidding? 

JOSH 
I need information. 

C.J. 
I'm going to the Blue Room. 

DONNA 
Yo-Yo Ma rules! 

Josh stops and stares at her with discontent. 

CUT TO: INT. MEETING ROOM - PRESENT
Josh is now pacing the room. 

JOSH 
She wouldn't shut up about Yo-Yo Ma. 

STANLEY 
You don't like the cello? 

JOSH 
I like the cello fine. You asked me what was going on that day and one of the things that 
was going on was that Donna wouldn't shut up about Yo-Yo Ma. 

STANLEY 
Who was playing at the Christmas Party?

JOSH 
Yeah. 

STANLEY 
Now, the day of that party you had a meeting at the Oval Office. 

JOSH 
Probably. 

STANLEY 
No, you did. 

JOSH 
Okay. 

STANLEY 
You don't remember having a meeting at the Oval Office that day? 

JOSH 
It's not unusual for me to meet with the President in the Oval Office five or ten times 
a day. 

STANLEY 
The meeting I'm talking about wasn't usual. 

JOSH 
Stanley... 

STANLEY 
Come on! You're pissed at Sam, you're pissed at Toby, you're pissed at C.J., you're 
pissed at Donna. Who's next? 

CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - DAY OF THE PARTY
A meeting is happening involving the men of the staff. Sam speaks off screen, and all 
we see is President Bartlet.

SAM [OS]
Sir, last year New England had 16.3 million barrels of commercial inventory. This year, 
they have six. 

CUT TO: INT. MEETING ROOM - PRESENT 

JOSH 
Nobody was next. I... I... I don't know what you heard about this meeting, but... 
It wasn't even my meeting! 

CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - DAY OF THE PARTY 

BARTLET 
OPEC will find a way to punish us. 

Leo, Sam and Josh are standing in front of him. 

SAM 
The Saudis have announced that they'd welcome the US tapping into the SPR to calm the 
market. Even the Saudis think that the price is too high. 

BARTLET 
If the Saudis are that concerned, why don't they just make the old faster? 

SAM 
Well, they're not that concerned. 

BARTLET 
I didn't think so. 

CUT TO: INT. MEETING ROOM - PRESENT
Josh has his bandaged hand in front view on the table. 

JOSH 
It was Sam's meeting. He wanted the President to get together with his Energy and 
Economic advisors on the SPR. I was only there for a political perspective. 

STANLEY 
What does that mean? 

JOSH 
There are only two things that ever stopped the government from doing anything money or 
politics. 

STANLEY 
So, you were there to say it was a bad idea politically? 

JOSH 
Yeah. 

STANLEY 
Did you think it was? 

JOSH 
Yeah. 

STANLEY 
Did you say so? 

JOSH 
I'm paid to say so! 

STANLEY 
What'd you say? 

JOSH 
I told him to... [pause and smirks] You're not gonna understand it. 

STANLEY 
I'm a fairly well-educated guy. 

JOSH 
You need to understand the background. 

STANLEY 
Did you raise your voice? 

JOSH 
To the President? 

STANLEY 
Yeah. 

JOSH 
[laughs] No! 

STANLEY 
Okay. 

JOSH 
You don't raise your voice to the President. 

STANLEY 
Okay. 

JOSH 
You certainly don't do it in the Oval Office. 

STANLEY 
Okay. 

JOSH 
There's always lively discussion and the President's informal with his staff, but there's 
a line you don't cross... Ever. You don't ever cross that line. 

CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - DAY OF THE PARTY

BARTLET 
Let's set up a meeting. 

SAM 
Sir, can I say... 

BARTLET 
You sold me. We're setting up a meeting. [about to walk out of the office] 

SAM 
Excellent! 

JOSH 
Can I say I think it's a bad idea? 

BARTLET 
[stops and turns to Josh] Why? 

JOSH 
It's not something Didion's gonna like. 

BARTLET 
Well, I'm just talking about a meeting, but if I decide to do it, the President controls 
the SPR and not Congress. 

JOSH 
Yeah, but Didion controls the IMF vote. 

BARTLET 
The two aren't related. 

LEO 
Let's move on. 

JOSH 
The two are related! 

BARTLET 
How? 

JOSH 
Through Didion. 

BARTLET 
I'm saying the Strategic Petroleum Reserve and forgiving the IMF debt are not related. 

LEO 
Anything else? 

JOSH 
[ignoring Leo] Of course they're related. 

LEO 
Josh. 

JOSH 
If Didion doesn't like that we're tapping into the SPR, he won't let the IMF debt out 
of committee. 

BARTLET 
We'll talk to him tonight. 

JOSH 
Mr. President... 

BARTLET 
At the Christmas party, we'll take him aside... 

JOSH 
[raises his voice a bit] No, sir, you can't just take him aside... 

LEO 
Josh, we can move on... 

JOSH 
[puts his hand in front of Leo's face] We can't move on from it! 

SAM 
Josh... 

JOSH 
We can't just take him aside! If we tell him we need his help then we give him visibility 
and power, and we put him in a position to say ‘no' and be a hero to his party! Who 
wouldn't want to do that for a living? 

BARTLET 
Josh, Didion's a good guy, we can talk to him. 

Josh walks very close to the President, waves his hands wildly.

JOSH
You need to listen to me. You have to listen to me. I can't help you, unless you listen 
to me! You can't send Christmas cards to everyone, you can't do it! [yelling] Forget the 
SPR, let's get the IMF loans like we said we were going to, listen to what I have to say 
about Didion, and please, listen to me! 

Everyone is looking at each other, lost. Josh's breathing heavily, and for a long moment, 
his breathing is the only sound heard. 

SAM 
Josh. 

JOSH 
All right, let's move on. 

LEO 
Josh, go wait in my office, would you? 

JOSH 
I suppose if it's just a meeting, we... 

LEO 
Wait in my office. 

JOSH 
Okay. 

He walks out while the conversation carries on awkwardly.

BARTLET 
We'll talk with Didion tonight? 

LEO 
Yeah. 

BARTLET 
By the way, it's not intervention in a free market if that's what he's worried about. 

SAM 
I agree! 

BARTLET 
It's not free trade if the price of oil is being controlled by a cartel. 

LEO 
No. 

BARTLET 
Sam, you'll be in on this? 

SAM 
Yes, sir. 

BARTLET 
Thank you. 

SAM 
Thank you, Mr. President. 

Leo and Sam walk out through different doors while the President sits with his hack to 
the camera. Leo walks into his OFFICE where Josh is standing, and closes the door. 

LEO 
Have you ever heard of ATVA? 

JOSH 
Leo... 

LEO 
I'm here. 

JOSH 
I think I should go back in there. 

LEO 
It's the American Trauma Victims Association. 

JOSH 
Leo... 

LEO 
We call them in to treat trauma victims, specifically with... 

JOSH 
I know what ATVA is. 

LEO 
You're gonna sit with a guy. 

JOSH 
Leo... 

LEO 
You're gonna sit with a guy. 

JOSH 
If this is because of what I just said in there, I wasn't at my best with... 

LEO 
Josh, I'm not sure you were fully conscious while you were saying it. 

CUT TO: INT. MEETING ROOM - PRESENT

STANLEY 
Well, thank god for Leo. 

JOSH 
Yeah. 

STANLEY 
I'm serious. The man's an alcoholic, he knew what he was talking about. 

JOSH 
I'm not sure it was as bad as maybe it was... 

STANLEY 
It was. 

JOSH 
Stanley, you can ask the questions and you can answer them, but you can't do both at 
the same time. 

STANLEY 
Yes, I can. 

JOSH 
Why? 

STANLEY 
Because I know the answers, and I don't work for you. 

JOSH 
Is there gonna be a... 

STANLEY 
How'd you cut your hand? 

JOSH 
Stanley... 

STANLEY 
Nah, how'd you do it? 

We see a flashback of Josh in his apartment, sitting on a couch with a glass. 

JOSH [VO] 
I put a glass down. 

Josh breaks the glass in his hand. We cut back to Stanley, rolling up his sleeve. 

STANLEY 
Yeah, I don't think you did. 

JOSH 
Stanley, I got home from the thing, I made a drink, I sat down, I pushed the magazine 
aside to use as a coaster, and I missed the coaster. 

We cut to the flashback again. Josh is looking at his bloody hands. We go back to the 
meeting room. 

STANLEY 
You missed the coaster with quite a bit of force. 

JOSH 
I work out when I can. 

STANLEY 
I swear I am completely unimpressed with clever answers. 

JOSH 
And I was so hoping we'd have a second day. 

STANLEY 
[smiles] You're in nine kinds of pain. You don't know what's going on inside of you, 
and you are so locked into damage control, that you can't... 

JOSH 
You diagnosed me in eight hours? 

STANLEY 
Josh, I diagnosed you in five minutes. 

Josh looks at him, shocked.

STANLEY
Talk about the night of the party. 

CUT TO: INT. JOSH’S APARTMENT - NIGHT OF THE PARTY
There is knocking on the door, Josh doesn't move from the couch. 

SUPERINTENDENT 
[behind the door, off screen] Mr. Lyman? You in there? 

STANLEY [VO]
You said you put down the glass when you came home from a party that night. 

JOSH 
Yeah. The Congressional Christmas party. 

More knocking. 

SUPERINTENDENT 
Mr. Lyman? 

CUT TO: INT. MEETING ROOM - PRESENT 

JOSH 
The Congressional Christmas party was white-tie, which is unusual, but the President 
likes it... 

FADE OUT.
END ACT THREE
* * *

ACT FOUR

FADE IN: INT. THE PRESIDENT’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Charlie is standing in the center of the room, wearing a frock, looking uncomfortable. 
Bartlet enters. 

BARTLET
You look good, Charlie. 

CHARLIE 
I didn't know people dressed like this anymore, sir. 

BARTLET 
I've brought it back.

CHARLIE 
Yes, sir. 

BARTLET 
Like Woodrow Wilson and top hats. 

CHARLIE 
We're not gonna wear top hats with this are we, sir? 

BARTLET 
No. Thank you.

A man helps him on with coat as he and Charlie leave the room.

MAN
Good evening, Mr. President. 

BARTLET 
Charlie, this is how Statesmen dress. This is how they dress in times of occasion. 

CHARLIE 
Yes sir. 

BARTLET 
It's regal. 

CHARLIE 
Yes sir. 

AGENT 
Eagle's moving. 

CUT TO: INT. C.J.’S OFFICE - NIGHT
C.J. enters her office, where Bernard and two people are waiting for her there. 

C.J.
Hello. I'm sorry to keep you waiting. 

BERNARD 
C.J., this is Rebecca Haussmann and her son, David. 

C.J. 
I'm C.J. Cregg, David. We spoke on the phone. 

DAVID 
Yes. 

C.J. 
Mrs. Haussmann, I'm C.J. Cregg. I'm the White House Press Secretary. [to David] 
Does she understand me? 

DAVID 
A little. 

C.J. 
This is your painting. Your father was Augie Haussmann? 

MRS. HAUSSMANN 
Yes. 

DAVID 
He was an art collector, mostly of minor impressionists that nobody really cared that 
much about. He was a French Jew. 

C.J. 
And the Vichy Laws stripped him of his property? 

DAVID 
[nods] Yeah. 

C.J. 
Well, best as we can tell, the Nazis sold the painting to a Swiss dealer sometime after 
your grandfather perished at Auschwitz. It made its way to the Musee d'Orsee, and then to 
the National Gallery, where the President spotted it. We've contacted the French... 

BERNARD 
[interrupting] Who probably surrendered. 

C.J. 
...who wanted to settle this matter amicably. 

Mrs. Haussmann nods.

C.J.
We'd like you to have our sincere apology, as well as, of course, the painting back. 

MRS. HAUSSMANN 
Thank you. 

Bernard hands David the wrapped picture.

DAVID
Well, you've made an old woman and her son very happy. 

BERNARD 
David, do you happen to know what your grandfather paid for it originally? 

DAVID 
Well, it would have been about the equivalent of $300 U.S. 

BERNARD 
Yes, that's about right. Would you explain to your mother that I had the painting 
appraised, and it's worth about $400,000 now. You should also tell her that, if she 
likes, we'd be honored to continue hanging the painting, and the longer we do, the 
higher it will appreciate. 

MRS. HAUSSMANN 
[looks at David] No. 

C.J. 
Officers McDaniel and Smith from the Park Police are gonna escort you home. 

MRS. HAUSSMANN 
Thank you very much. 

DAVID 
Thank you. 

C.J. and Bernard watch them leave, then leave themselves. They walk down the HALLWAY.

C.J. 
You see, you try very hard to be mean, but then you see that being nice is better. 

BERNARD 
You're a freakish little woman. 

They part. 

C.J. 
So that moment's over? 

BERNARD 
Yes. 

Josh walks by. 

C.J. 
Oh, Josh! Sam said the Didion meeting went well. 

JOSH 
Yeah, we'll support a LIEHEAP subsidy for air-conditioning in the Texas 23rd. 

C.J. 
Josh, it's Christmas. 

JOSH 
Yeah. 

C.J. 
We're starting in five minutes. 

JOSH 
Yeah. 

C.J. leaves, Josh stands there.

CUT TO: INT. MEETING ROOM - PRESENT

JOSH
What was the diagnosis? 

STANLEY 
I'm sorry? 

JOSH 
You said you diagnosed me in five minutes. What was the diagnosis? 

STANLEY 
You have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. 

JOSH 
Well, that doesn't really sound like something they let you have if you work for the 
President. Can we have it be something else? Seriously, I-I think you might be wrong 
about that. I-I'm not tryin' to be difficult. 

STANLEY 
I don't think you are. 

JOSH 
I know that I-I'm givin' you cocky answers, I that should be... 

STANLEY 
Listen... 

JOSH 
I know that you want me to talk about my feelings. 

STANLEY 
No I don't, Josh. The last thing I want you to do is talk about your feelings. I think 
if you heard a tape recording of this day, you wouldn't hear the word ‘feelings.' What 
we need to be able to get you to do is to remember the shooting without reliving it. 
And you have been reliving it. 

We hear Bartlet's speech introducing Yo-Yo Ma. 

BARTLET [VO]
We have polling that indicates that if Johann Sebastian Bach were alive today, he would 
have voted for me. 

The crowd laughs.

STANLEY 
Right? It happened during the Christmas party? 

JOSH 
I'm not tryin' to give cocky answers... 

STANLEY 
I am the guy you tell, Josh! It happened at the Christmas party. 

We hear Bartlet again. 

BARTLET [VO]
The Bach Suite in G Major. Please help me in welcoming Yo-Yo Ma. 

The crowd applauds.

STANLEY 
Josh? 

JOSH 
I was fine. 

STANLEY 
Josh? 

JOSH 
It was the Bach G Major. 

We hear music playing. We flash to see scenes of the Christmas party. 

STANLEY 
It's a nice piece. 

JOSH 
It is. 

STANLEY 
Did he play it well? 

JOSH 
It's Yo-Yo Ma. 

STANLEY 
I've never heard him in person. 

JOSH 
He's really-he's really quite something, 

We see flashes of the White House Senior Staff listening to Yo-Yo Ma. 

STANLEY [VO]
How did it start? 

We cut back to the therapy.

JOSH 
I don't know. 

STANLEY 
Yes, you do. 

JOSH 
I was just sitting there. 

We cut back to the party.

STANLEY 
And then what happened? 

JOSH 
I don't know! 

We suddenly hear a gunshot.

STANLEY 
Are you in the fourth grade? 

JOSH 
I don't know how it started! 

KAYTHA 
You tasted something bitter in your mouth. 

Josh has a flashback to the shooting. 

KAYTHA [cont.]
It was the adrenaline. The bitter taste was the adrenaline. 

STANLEY 
What happened then? 

We see Josh at the party. He’s hearing scream and shots. 

JOSH
I couldn't make it stop. 

At the party, Josh winces as if in pain. He has a flashback to the shooting and feels 
as though he is being shot. He remembers the doctors and the ambulance. 

JOSH
I couldn't make it stop. 

STANLEY 
No you couldn't, Josh, but you've been trying for weeks and that's why you feel sick 
inside. 

We cut back to the party.

STANLEY
And what happened when you went home that night? 

CUT TO: INT. JOSH’S APARTMENT - NIGHT OF THE PARTY
Josh is looking at his bloody hand.

SUPERINTENDENT
Mr. Lyman? Are you in there? 

CUT TO: INT. MEETING ROOM - PRESENT

STANLEY 
You had an episode at the party, that afternoon you had blown up in the Oval Office. 
What happened when you went home that night? 

JOSH 
Honestly nothing! 

STANLEY 
Okay. 

He gets up and moves closer to Josh.

JOSH 
I sat down on the couch... 

STANLEY 
Can you honestly tell me... 

JOSH 
[in his head, he sees the action.] I-I pushed the magazine aside as a coaster... 

STANLEY 
...that when the Pilot committed suicide... Can you honestly tell me that you didn't 
wonder if you were suicidal too? 

Josh has been hearing the Bach Suite in his head-stops and sees himself with a bloody hand. 

JOSH 
I didn't wonder that. 

STANLEY 
You're lying. 

JOSH 
I didn't wonder that. 

STANLEY 
Everything that the two of you had in common... 

JOSH 
We had nothing in common! 

STANLEY 
You know you had the same birthday... 

JOSH 
Who gives a damn if we had the same birthday? 

STANLEY 
But you knew something else. 

JOSH 
Stanley... 

STANLEY 
You knew he has been shot down once, that his plane had caught on fire, that he had 
ejected, and that there were some injuries. 

JOSH 
[yelling] Stanley! I made myself a drink, I pushed aside a magazine to use as a coaster. 

STANLEY
[yelling] Josh! Josh. How did you cut your hand? 

CUT TO: INT. JOSH’S APARTMENT - NIGHT OF THE PARTY
Josh is at his apartment having flashbacks. He can't take it anymore and puts his hand 
through the window. 

SUPERINTENDENT 
[knocking on door] Mr. Lyman? It's your Super. [knocks] Mr. Lyman, are you okay in there? 

Josh looks at his hand. 

SUPERINTENDENT
Mr. Lyman! 

The piece ends. We hear applause. 

CUT TO: INT. MEETING ROOM - PRESENT

STANLEY 
Okay then. 

JOSH 
Okay then? 

STANLEY 
[nods] That's that. 

JOSH 
I'm cured? 

STANLEY 
[humoring him] Yeah, Josh. You're cured. No problem. 

JOSH 
Stanley... 

STANLEY 
I'm gonna recommend a therapist you'll like. 

JOSH 
I like you! 

STANLEY 
You're to easy a case for me. 

JOSH 
I broke a window! 

STANLEY 
Yeah. Stop doing that. I want to commend you on not hurting anybody else and not hurting 
yourself too badly, but nevertheless, stop doing that. [gets up from the chair] 

JOSH 
And... that'll do the trick? 

STANLEY 
Yup. 

Kaytha gets up.

JOSH 
I-I'm gettin' short-changed here. 

STANLEY 
Merry Christmas, Josh! We're done. [puts papers in briefcase] I'll call your office 
after the holidays and give you a number. 

KAYTHA 
It was nice meeting you. 

JOSH 
Hang on! What happens if tomorrow some pilot with my birthday decides to kill himself? 

STANLEY 
No, that wasn't what started it. 

JOSH 
What started it? 

STANLEY 
You were already cooking for a few hours before the pilot. 

JOSH 
I was? 

STANLEY 
Usually with a gunshot victim it's a car backfiring, or a twig snapping, but that's not 
what it was with you. 

JOSH 
What was it? 

STANLEY 
[turns to Kaytha] Kaytha? 

KAYTHA 
The music. 

STANLEY 
The brass quintet. 

JOSH 
Why would the music have started it? 

STANLEY 
Well, I know it's gonna sound like I'm telling you that two plus two equals a bushel of 
potatoes, but at this moment, in your head, music is the same thing as... 

JOSH 
...as sirens. 

STANLEY 
[nods] Yeah. [puts on his coat]

JOSH 
So that's gonna be my reaction every time I hear music? 

STANLEY 
No. 

JOSH 
Why not? 

STANLEY 
Because we get better. [starts to leave]

JOSH 
All the same, I need some more therapy! 

STANLEY 
Oh, you're gonna get some! 

JOSH 
I mean now! [gets up] 

STANLEY 
Merry Christmas, Josh! 

JOSH 
We can order a pizza! 

STANLEY 
[laughs] Have a good night! 

Stanley leaves with Kaytha. Josh follows him out of the room and calls.

JOSH
Stanley, I haven't told you my dreams yet! 

STANLEY [OS] 
Fax ‘em over to me! 

JOSH 
Merry Christmas. 

Josh leaves the room as well.

CUT TO: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE LOBBY - NIGHT
Leo is sitting in a chair reading. Josh enters and doesn't notice Leo. 

LEO
How'd it go? 

JOSH 
[turns] Did you wait around for me? 

Leo takes off his glasses.

JOSH
He thinks I may have an eating disorder. 

LEO 
[gets up] Josh. 

JOSH 
And a fear of rectangles. That's not weird, is it? [pause] I didn't cut my hand on a 
glass. I broke a window in my apartment. 

LEO 
This guy's walking down a street, when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep. He 
can't get out. A doctor passes by, and the guy shouts up "Hey you! Can you help me out?" 
The doctor writes him a prescription, throws it down the hole and moves on. Then a priest 
comes along and the guy shouts up "Father, I'm down in this hole, can you help me out?" 
The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a friend 
walks by. "Hey Joe, it's me, can you help me out?" And the friend jumps in the hole! Our 
guy says "Are you stupid? Now we're both down here!" and the friend says, "Yeah, but I've 
been down here before, and I know the way out." 

Josh looks at him.

LEO [cont.]
As long as I got a job, you got a job, you understand? [gestures to Josh's hand] 
You wrapped that yourself, right? 

JOSH 
[raises eyebrows] The bandage? 

LEO 
Yeah. 

JOSH 
Yeah. 

LEO 
Okay. Donna's gonna take you to the emergency room. 

JOSH 
She knows? 

LEO 
She was the one who guessed. 

JOSH 
I don't need the emergency room. 

LEO 
Come on, it could be infected, you could have a thing. 

JOSH 
What thing? 

Donna enters with Josh's coat. 

LEO 
How the hell do I know? 

JOSH 
Leo...

DONNA 
Let's go. 

She helps Josh on with his coat.

JOSH 
See you later. 

LEO 
Okay. 

Josh and Donna leave. Leo stands for a minute then leaves. Carolers can be heard singing 
"Carol of the Bells." 

CUT TO: EXT. THE WHITE HOUSE GATES - NIGHT
Carolers are singing outside. Josh and Donna come through the gates.

JOSH 
I don't need a doctor. 

DONNA 
Are you a doctor? 

JOSH 
No. 

DONNA 
Then be quiet. 

Josh and Donna stop in front of the carolers. Josh listens with a distant look on his 
face. Donna looks at him. 

DONNA
Josh? 

JOSH 
Yeah. 

DONNA 
Let's go. 

JOSH 
Okay. 

Donna leads him away. The carolers continue singing, while sirens can be heard. As the 
carolers end their song, we --

DISSOLVE TO: END TITLES.
FADE TO BLACK.
THE END
* * *

The West Wing and all its characters are properties of Aaron Sorkin, John Wells 
Production, Warner Brothers Television, and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended.

Episode 2.10 -- “Noel”
Original Airdate: December 20, 2000, 9:00 PM EST

Transcript By: Giorgio, BumbleLion, Joshsgirl, Irene and LocalGomer8