THE WEST WING
"HARTSFIELD'S LANDING"
WRITTEN BY: AARON SORKIN
DIRECTED BY: VINCENT MISIANO
TEASER
FADE IN: EXT. ANDREWS AIR FORCE BASE - NIGHT
Air Force One is coming in to land.
ANDREWS AIR FORCE BASE
8:40 P.M. EST
Bartlet descends from the plane as the cameras flash. He is met by a Secret Service Agent
and then by C.J. as the Service guy moves away.
REPORTER 1 [VO]
Welcome home, Mr. President!
REPORTERS [VO]
Mr. President! Mr. President!
BARTLET
Thank you!
REPORTER 2
[over the shouts of the others] Any further follow-up after New Delhi?
BARTLET
I'm sorry?
REPORTER 2
Was there any follow-up after New Delhi?
BARTLET
We spoke several times about Kashmir, and she assured me they're working towards a peaceful
resolution. We also had a spirited conversation about chess.
REPORTER 3
The Prime Minister plays chess?
BARTLET
Chess was invented in India. Somewhere around 600 A.D., a gigantic chessboard was constructed
at Fatehpur Sikri which was the capital a long time ago, and human figures were used as chess
pieces.
C.J.'s cell phone starts to ring and she fishes it out.
BARTLET [cont.]
They moved at the Emperor's will. That's what I like to call the good old days.
CUT TO: INT. LEO'S OFFICE - NIGHT
We see a man in a suit on TV in the background as the door opens. Margaret walks in.
MARGARET
[indicating phone] C.J.
Leo hits the speakerphone.
LEO
C.J.?
C.J.
[on phone] Hey, Leo.
LEO
What's he doing?
CUT TO: EXT. ANDREW'S AIR FORCE BASE - NIGHT
C.J. is standing with her cell phone as Bartlet speaks to the press in the background.
C.J.
The history of chess by Dr. Josiah Bartlet.
CUT TO: INT. LEO'S OFFICE - NIGHT
LEO
Get him in the car.
C.J.
What's going on?
LEO
And get the press pool back here too.
C.J.
What's going on?
LEO
China.
CUT TO: EXT. ANDREW'S AIR FORCE BASE - NIGHT
C.J.
Okay.
BARTLET
[to the press] In sandlewood, and a laquered classic Stanton in boxwood.
C.J.
[approaching] Thank you, everybody.
BARTLET
[over his shoulder as she leads him away] Hey, don't forget! [checks watch] Hartsfield votes
in three hours and 21 minutes! We're gonna find out who the next President is.
He and C.J. walk towards the car.
BARTLET
I'm gonna give some of the chess sets out as gifts, did you see them?
C.J.
Leo needs you in the car.
BARTLET
Did he say-?
C.J.
China.
Bartlet gets into the car and an Agent shuts the door behind him.
CUT TO: INT. INSIDE OF PRESIDENTIAL LIMO - CONTINUOUS
Bartlet picks up his phone.
BARTLET
Yeah?
LEO [VO]
Good evening, Mr. President.
BARTLET
What's going on?
CUT TO: INT. LEO'S OFFICE - NIGHT
LEO
Intel says Taiwan's getting ready to test fire three Patriots.
BARTLET
Where?
LEO
A base on a island in the Pingdong region.
BARTLET
What's China's reaction?
LEO
An acceleration of integrated military exercises.
BARTLET
Big?
LEO
Yeah.
BARTLET
How big?
LEO
Unprecedented. Shall we tell Taiwan not to test the missles? Sir?
BARTLET
No. I mean, we could try, but they're not gonna go for it.
LEO
They might.
BARTLET
What are they asking for?
LEO
They want us to put some hardware in the Taiwan Strait.
BARTLET
Tonight?
LEO
Yes, sir.
BARTLET
I'm assuming Nancy and Fitzwallace and the Chiefs...
LEO
Everyone concurs, Mr. President.
BARTLET
You?
LEO
Yes, sir.
BARTLET
We have a pretty good sense of the worst-case scenario?
LEO
We end up sending the largest US naval armada to South-East Asia since the end of Vietnam.
BARTLET
That sounds right.
LEO
[after a moment] Sir?
BARTLET
All right, we know the play.
LEO
We're going to assemble in the Sit Room.
BARTLET
She gave me these beautiful chess sets.
LEO
The Prime Minister?
BARTLET
Yeah. I'm on my way. Let Fitzwallace know I'm gonna order the Seventh Fleet into the Taiwan Strait.
LEO
Yes, sir.
Bartlet hangs up the phone.
BARTLET
[to the driver] Let's go.
CUT TO: EXT. ANDREW'S AIR FORCE BASE - NIGHT
The Presidential motorcade moves away.
SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES.
END TEASER
* * *
ACT ONE
FADE IN: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE HALLWAY - NIGHT
Bartlet and Leo walk side by side.
CUT TO: INT. SITUATION ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Bartlet and Leo step inside.
MILITARY MAN
Ten-hut!
All rise.
BARTLET
Good evening.
ALL
Good evening, Mr. President.
BARTLET
Listen, they start voting in Hartsfield's landing in about two and a half hours, so this may
end up being somebody else's problem. [General laughter. Everyone sits.] The scale of the war
games is unprecedented?
NANCY
It's a simulation of an invasion of Penghu Islands, and it includes battle-stance intervention
by foreign aircraft carriers.
LEO
What's the Taiwanese reaction so far?
NANCY
All armed forces are on heightened alert. The War Minister asked for an emergency Cabinet meeting.
LEO
What about equipment movement?
NANCY
Keyhole shows ten AH-1W Helicopters.
LEO
[to Bartlet] Super Cobras.
NANCY
Yeah, on the tarmac at Chingchuankang.
LEO
The Nimitz?
MILITARY GUY 1
About two hours away.
LEO
The Indepence?
MILITARY GUY 1
Also two hours away.
LEO
What other assets can be moved in?
MILITARY GUY 2
There's a battle carrier group, the Carl Vinson. It's on it's way to relieve the Constellation
in the Arabian Gulf.
LEO
'Kay, let me backtrack for a second. What's C.J. facing in the press room right now?
NANCY
Well, Xinhua's reporting the live fire exercises.
LEO
Is the Carl Vinson close enough to make a detour to the South China Sea?
MILITARY GUY 1
We think that's our next move.
LEO
Sir?
BARTLET
That's our next move.
NANCY
After that?
BARTLET
After our next move comes their next move.
CUT TO: INT. THE PRESS ROOM - NIGHT
Camera pans across from C.J. on screen to C.J. at the podium.
REPORTERS
C.J.!
C.J.
Katie.
KATIE
Is the President gonna ask the Taiwanese to hold off testing the Patriots?
C.J.
No, and it's important to remember that Patriot missles are defensive equipment which can only
be used in the event of an attack.
REPORTER 1
But it's the testing of the Patriots that's provoking the Chinese war games.
C.J.
I'm not in a position to say what's provoking the war games. Chris?
CHRIS
The Chinese attack Taiwan, we're obligated to defend them under the '79 Act, correct?
C.J.
Actually, under the '79 Act we agreed to provide Taiwan with sufficient capability to defend
itself, but we're getting way ahead of ourselves. There's gonna be a Pentagon briefing at 10 AM.
REPORTER 2
Will the President be monitoring the situation throughout the night?
C.J.
The President will be monitoring the situation in the China Seas as well as Hartsfield's
Landing. Any of the new people not know about Hartsfield's Landing?
A hand raises.
C.J.
Hartsfield's Landing is a town in New Hampshire, population 63. While the rest of New Hampshire
goes to the polls at 8 AM tomorrow, all of the 42 registered voters of Hartsfield vote at one
minute past midnight or... [checks watch] a little over two hours from now. Hartsfield has
accurately predicted the winner in every Presidential election since William Howard Taft,
who, by the way, was the founder of the seventh inning stretch wherein we sing "Take Me Out
to the Ballgame", music and lyrics by Jack Norworth and Albert VonTilzer. [general laughter]
It's all part of the service here at Claudia's house of useless knowledge. That's a full lid,
thank you very much.
She leaves the podium.
REPORTERS
C.J.!
CUT TO: INT. WHITE HOUSE CORRIDOR - CONTINUOUS
C.J. walks along with Carol.
CAROL
Albert VonTilzer?
C.J.
Ironically, neither of them had ever been to a major league baseball game when they wrote
that song. The other song they were famous for was?
CAROL
I didn't even know they were famous for that one.
C.J.
"Shine on Harvest Moon".
C.J. heads towards her office as Carol walks off in a different direction. She meets Charlie
coming towards her, carrying a pile of boxes.
C.J.
Charlie. [notices what he's carrying] What are those?
CHARLIE
I'm distributing chess sets as gifts.
C.J.
I need a copy of the President's private schedule.
CHARLIE
Didn't you get one?
C.J.
I need another.
CHARLIE
You gotta sign it out.
C.J.
I'm sorry?
CHARLIE
You gotta sign it out and then sign it back in. It can't be photocopied, and it can't leave
the building.
C.J.
[amused] What the hell is this?
CHARLIE
For the third time in two months, a copy of the private schedule wound up in the press room.
I've got to crack down.
C.J.
I've got to sign it out?
CHARLIE
And sign it back in.
C.J.
I'm the Press Secretary.
CHARLIE
You do a nice job.
C.J.
Gimme the damn schedule
CHARLIE
[handing her a clipboard] Sign it out, and sign it back in.
C.J.
[signing] The anal-retentive side of you is not gonna to help you get girls.
CHARLIE
I do okay.
C.J. leaves.
CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Josh is at his desk by his computer, writing.
JOSH
Donna!
After a moment he gets up.
JOSH
Donna!
DONNA
Yeah?
She bursts in, almost thumping Josh with the door.
JOSH
You know...
DONNA
I was coming.
JOSH
You were taking your time.
DONNA
I don't have warp speed.
JOSH
Do you remember Jennifer Flender, the daughter of the mom and pop who have the tackle shop?
DONNA
Mack and Roberta Flender.
JOSH
Yes.
DONNA
The Flenders.
JOSH
The daughter just e-mailed me and told me her parents are voting for Ritchie.
DONNA
Why is she e-mailing you?
JOSH
She e-mails me.
DONNA
Why?
JOSH
'Cause she's got a little crush on me.
DONNA
You didn't sleep with the Flender girl, did you?
JOSH
She's twenty years old.
DONNA
Mack has got guns, Josh, and doesn't like northerners.
JOSH
He lives in New Hampshire.
DONNA
Still-
JOSH
It doesn't matter. Mom and pop are voting for Ritchie, and they vote in Hartsfield's Landing.
You gotta talk to them.
He hands her a piece of paper.
DONNA
What are you talking about?
JOSH
I'm not kidding. Two votes could be the margin.
DONNA
It's Hartsfield's Landing.
JOSH
Yeah.
DONNA
I thought we were just kidding around with this.
JOSH
We're not.
DONNA
It's 42 votes.
JOSH
That are cast at 12:01 and counted at 12:07. The rest of New Hampshire doesn't come in until
nine PM. That's 21 hours of the news having nothing to report but the winner at Hartsfield's
Landing. I want it to be us. You have to get on the phone and talk to the Flenders. [sits]
DONNA
The Flenders - why me?
JOSH
They liked you. They took you in, they fed you.
DONNA
You make me sound pathetic.
JOSH
You were pretty pathetic, and the Fenders fed you.
DONNA
[standing] Flenders.
JOSH
See, you remember their name. There's obviously a connection.
DONNA
Josh-
JOSH
[holding a hand up to his ear expectantly] Politics in New Hampshire is what?
DONNA
[rolling eyes] Retail.
JOSH
Thank you. Get on the phone, find out what their problem with the President is, and solve it.
DONNA
All right, except I can't get on this phone.
JOSH
Why?
DONNA
It's a government phone, I can't use it to intimidate voters.
JOSH
Sad but true. You know what I'm thinking?
DONNA
[sharply] Yes.
JOSH
Cell phone, Lafayette Park, and a warm coat.
DONNA
I'm taking your coat. [heads over to grab it]
JOSH
It's a good coat.
DONNA
[leaving] I'm taking it.
JOSH
I'm cool.
CUT TO: INT. SAM'S OFFICE - NIGHT
We see Sam through the window as he comes in. He slips off his scarf and coat, and then notices
the chess set arranged on his desk, all pieces in position. He clicks on the light to illuminate
it, then picks up one of the black pieces and the note that sits on top of the board.
Bartlet arrives in the doorway.
BARTLET
Excuse me.
SAM
[looking up] Mr. President, welcome back.
BARTLET
Thank you. How are you?
SAM
I'm fine, sir, I was just... someone gave me this chess set.
BARTLET
Yeah, it's from me.
SAM
You're kidding?
BARTLET
The Prime Minister gave me a few different sets, and I wanted to give them as gifts.
SAM
I'm really overwhelmed by this, Mr. President.
BARTLET
The State of the Union was really something else.
SAM
Thank you again, sir.
BARTLET
This one's a Lotus set, hand-carved camel-bone. She told me it came to her from a direct
descendent of Tan Sen. You know who that was?
SAM
No.
BARTLET
The greatest musician of his time.
SAM
What time was that?
BARTLET
Sixteenth century. He'd go to the human chess matches at the Mogul Court of Emperor Akbar,
and that began the family obsession with the game. Wanna play?
SAM
You?
BARTLET
Yeah.
SAM
I'll get killed.
BARTLET
Why?
Bartlet picks up a black piece and a white piece and holds them behind his back.
SAM
You're a Grand Wizard or a Grandmaster or something.
BARTLET
No, I'm none of those things. I'm just grand.
He holds out both hands in fists, and Sam taps the right with a finger.
BARTLET
[opening his hand] You're white, but don't ever touch me.
SAM
I'm sorry, sir.
BARTLET
I was kidding.
He spins the board on the desk so the black pieces are at his end. Sam deliberates for a moment,
then moves a pawn (d2-d3).
BARTLET
Ah, the Fibonacci opening. Very interesting.
SAM
You're just gonna mess with me this whole time, right?
BARTLET
Yeah.
Bartlet moves a pawn (e7-e5).
SAM
So India went well?
BARTLET
Yeah.
Sam moves a pawn (e2-e4).
SAM
A standing ovation on the floor of the Stock Exchange.
BARTLET
A billion dollars at the Export-Import Bank didn't hurt.
Bartlet moves a knight (b8-c6).
SAM
I suppose.
BARTLET
Three billion in direct foreign investment to the forty-four billion China gets. You're an
American, where would you rather put your money?
Sam moves a bishop (c1-e3).
SAM
India.
BARTLET
Why?
Bartlet makes a move off-screen (possibly knight g8-f6).
SAM
They're Democratic... English-speaking. There's the rule of law. Better since Cuba.
Sam moves a pawn off-screen (a2-a3).
BARTLET
That's right.
Bartlet moves a bishop (f8-c5).
SAM
Do you mind my asking how bad it's getting out there tonight?
BARTLET
It's bad. If Kashmir's the most dangerous place on earth, the second most dangerous is the
Taiwan Strait. Taiwan's got four hundred thousand troops on high alert; the size of China's
war games is unprecedented.
SAM
Have you thought about asking Taiwan to call off the Patriot tests?
BARTLET
You think I should?
SAM
No, sir.
BARTLET
Why not?
SAM
Because China's if got three hundred missiles pointed at Taiwan, why shouldn't they be able
to defend themselves?
Sam moves a piece off-screen (right-hand side of the board).
BARTLET
That's right. Plus guess what? [makes another move] The Patriot tests aren't why China's
showing its teeth.
SAM
[intrigued] Why aren't they?
BARTLET
Are you ready to come inside?
Sam nods slowly.
SAM
Yes, sir.
BARTLET
By the end of the week, Taiwan's going to announce they are holding their first free elections.
SAM
You're kidding.
BARTLET
Defend your queen.
FADE OUT.
END ACT ONE
* * *
ACT TWO
FADE IN: EXT. THE WHITE HOUSE - NIGHT
CUT TO: INT. THE MURAL ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Nancy, Leo, and the Chinese delegation are seated around a table.
NANCY
Mr. Ambassador, please.
CHINESE AMBASSADOR
Excuse me, please.
NANCY
Sir. There is a purpose to this meeting.
CHINESE AMBASSADOR
Yes. You have discovered that calling us reckless is not working.
NANCY
Taiwan is a geo-strategic centre for commerce. It sits on an oil lane for Asia and the Middle East.
CHINESE AMBASSADOR
Excuse me-
NANCY
And unnecessarily militarizing-
CHINESE AMBASSADOR
Madam-
NANCY
Unnecessarily militarizing on such a large scale is, in fact, reckless.
CHINESE AMBASSADOR
Taiwan is a part of China and is not a protectorate of the United States. And it is your
actions that are an encroachment on Chinese sovereignty and interference in internal affairs.
LEO
Our battle carrier groups are in international waters. Are you claiming jurisdiction?
CHINESE AMBASSADOR
No.
LEO
Then let's settle down.
CHINESE AMBASSADOR
The Shanghai Communiqu*-
CHINESE AIDE
Sir, I-
CHINESE AMBASSADOR
The Shanghai Communiqu*-
NANCY
Says that there is but one China, and that Taiwan is a part of China, and the United States
government does not challenge that position. The US is only interested in a peaceful settlement
of the Taiwan question by the Chinese themselves.
CHINESE AMBASSADOR
A settlement that is not best facilitated by the US selling arms to Taiwan.
LEO
That's not on the table in this meeting.
CHINESE AIDE
This year's arms sale package was the biggest in the decade. [The Chinese delegation all nod
as he speaks.] Four K-Class Destroyers, twelve anti-submarine P3 Orions - you approved the AMRAD.
LEO
That's not on the table.
CHINESE AMBASSADOR
I've said what was to be said. Taiwan's reunification with the mainland is the will of all
Chinese people. And just so we understand each other; the moment that we see them testing
their US-built Patriots is the moment that you will see us testing our CSS-6 missiles.
Leo looks grave.
CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA - NIGHT
Donna comes in, wrapped up in a long coat.
JOSH
How'd it go?
DONNA
They're not voting for us.
JOSH
Why?
He gets up and follows her as she goes to make herself coffee.
DONNA
'Cause the old Perren pulp mill is still idle after five years.
JOSH
It's been five years, and why is it our fault?
DONNA
'Cause instead of protecting American jobs we're letting Canadian pulp importers take over
their market share.
JOSH
It's called free trade.
DONNA
It's also called "why the Flenders aren't voting for us".
JOSH
[rubbing his face] Didn't you... talk up our accomplishments?
DONNA
I couldn't think of them.
JOSH
Donna.
DONNA
They don't care about our accomplishments, they care about the market for away-from-home
paper towels and tissue products. Can I give them a commitment?
JOSH
A commitment?
DONNA
Yes.
JOSH
No! You- We're not making a trade commitment to the Flenders! We're not for protectionism,
and neither are the Republicans. Tell them the President's been good for the ecomony overall.
DONNA
They say he's been bad for the economy.
She starts to walk away and Josh follows her round to her desk area.
JOSH
We're for affordable health care.
DONNA
What's affordable if you've lost your job at the pulp mill?
JOSH
They don't - the Flenders don't work at the pulp mill!
DONNA
Nobody works in the pulp mill!
JOSH
All right. If Canada's making cheaper pulp, then New Hampshire has to diversify. That's why
the President has allocated five hundred million dollars for trade adjustment assistance.
That's why - write this down. That's why he's tripled small business start-up loans. That's
why he's balancing the budget. [Donna dutifully writes it down.] Go.
DONNA
[sipping her coffee] It's so warm in here.
JOSH
Go.
She puts the coffee down and hurries out, shivering.
CUT TO: INT. LOBBY - CONTINUOUS
Charlie comes up behind Donna.
CHARLIE
Donna.
DONNA
Yeah.
CHARLIE
You haven't by any chance seen my copy of the President's private schedule, have you?
DONNA
I don't think so.
CHARLIE
It's stamped D12.
DONNA
I haven't seen it. [leaves]
CHARLIE
Thanks.
He heads through the doors she just came out of.
CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA - CONTINUOUS
Josh is coming out of his office.
JOSH
Hey, Charlie.
CHARLIE
Listen. You haven't seen my copy of President's private schedule, have you?
JOSH
No.
CHARLIE
[sighs] I'm trying to retrace where I've been within the last hour. I was here, I was in
the mess, I went back to my desk... [realizes] Excuse me.
He heads towards C.J.'s office.
CUT TO: INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
CHARLIE
Hello.
C.J.
Chaz.
CHARLIE
You wouldn't happen to know where my copy of the private schedule is, would you?
C.J.
Did you lose it?
CHARLIE
I don't believe I did, no.
C.J.
Yet you don't have it.
CHARLIE
Odd.
Carol appears in the doorway behind him.
CAROL
[to C.J.] He'd like you for a moment.
C.J.
Thank you.
C.J. leaves and Charlie follows her.
CUT TO: INT. WHITE HOUSE CORRIDORS - CONTINOUS
CHARLIE
Where is it?
C.J.
How would I know?
CHARLIE
Where is it?
C.J.
I just hope you didn't leave the building with it.
CHARLIE
Give it up, Tiny.
C.J.
[laughing] Think you're going to want to talk nicer to me than that, because when a reporter
finds it, they're going to come to me, and that thing is stamped D12, and you signed out D12,
and rules are rules.
CHARLIE
Funny.
C.J.
What?
CHARLIE
I never told you it was D12.
C.J.
How about that?
They come to a stop in front of Ed and Larry.
C.J. [cont.]
You'll find it in your filing cabinet under 'A' for 'anal.'
Ed and Larry exchange a look as Charlie moves off.
LARRY
I don't really want to know what he's going to find in his filing cabinet, do you?
ED
Nooo.
CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
The President is meeting with various people.
BARTLET
Okay.
ALL
Thank you, Mr. President.
They file out as C.J. comes in.
LEO
C.J.
C.J.
Yeah?
LEO
I want you to leak it to two or three sources; the U.S.S. Carl Vinson is going to do what's
called a passing exercise with the Independence. We want South China media to pick it up right away.
C.J.
Sure.
C.J. leaves as we hear the sound of a knock. CHARLIE comes in.
CHARLIE
Mr. President.
BARTLET
Yeah?
CHARLIE
Can you see Toby a moment?
BARTLET
Yeah. [turns to Leo as Charlie leaves] Give us a minute, would you?
LEO
I'll let you know when there's something new.
BARTLET
Thanks.
Leo leaves and Toby comes in.
TOBY
Good evening Mr. President, welcome back.
BARTLET
Thanks. C'mon in.
TOBY
[waving a note] I think this note was delivered to me by mistake.
BARTLET
What's it say?
TOBY
'Come play chess.'
BARTLET
No, that's for you.
TOBY
It says 'Sigmund, come play chess'.
BARTLET
That was a joke. Not so funny, huh?
TOBY
That's a beautiful chess set.
BARTLET
It's a gift, for you.
TOBY
[after a moment's silence] Really?
BARTLET
Yeah. It's hand-carved, it belonged to the Prime Minister's grandfather. He used it to play
with Lord Mounbatten.
TOBY
I’m surprised she gave it away.
BARTLET
Nah, she didn't, we just boosted it from the palace on our way out. I’ve got some little
bottles of shampoo and conditioner, too.
TOBY
[uncomfortably] Well, it's a beautiful gift, sir.
BARTLET
Sit down.
TOBY
I wouldn't want to take your time tonight.
BARTLET
[removing his jacket] Come on, now. You were out of line, I was a jackass - let's call a truce.
TOBY
Well, I certainly apologise, sir.
BARTLET
[sitting down] Let's play chess.
TOBY
Aren't you in the middle of a game with Sam?
BARTLET
Yeah; he's... one, two, four, eight, twelve moves away from checkmate.
TOBY
Twelve moves.
BARTLET
Yeah. You take white.
TOBY
[taking a seat opposite Bartlet] Lord Mountbatten used to play with this set?
BARTLET
With Jawaharlal Nehru when they came to an agreement on the necessity of India's independence.
TOBY
Appropriate topic for the evening.
BARTLET
Yeah.
Toby moves a pawn (e2-e4).
BARTLET
Taiwan's not gonna be our topic. Ah, the Evans Gambit!
Bartlet moves a pawn (e7-e5).
TOBY
There's no such thing as the Evans Gambit.
BARTLET
A variation of the Giuoco Piano opening, named after a British sea captain, W.D. Evans, who
invented it in 1820 - don't tell me chess moves.
TOBY
I moved my pawn.
BARTLET
Well, it's as popular today as it was back then.
Toby moves a knight (g1-f3). Bartlet moves a knight (b8-c6).
TOBY
What is-
Toby moves a bishop (f1-c4).
BARTLET
I'm sorry?
TOBY
What is our topic?
BARTLET
Re-election and the Bartlet Psychosis.
Bartlet moves a bishop (f8-c5).
TOBY
[nodding slightly] Seems to me the last time we were here, we didn't do very well.
Toby moves a pawn (b2-b4).
BARTLET
So we get right back on the horse.
Bartlet takes Toby's pawn with his bishop (c5-b4).
TOBY
I was out of line sir, I really do apologize.
BARTLET
You apologized already, so let's get back on the horse.
TOBY
Neither one of us rides horses.
Toby makes a move off-screen.
BARTLET
That makes it more likely we'll learn something.
Bartlet makes a move off-screen. There is a knock at the door and Charlie enters.
CHARLIE
Sir.
BARTLET
Yeah?
CHARLIE
[on his way out] Sam says Bishop to Queen's Knight three.
BARTLET
Excuse me; eleven moves.
He gets up and leaves.
FADE OUT.
END ACT TWO
* * *
ACT THREE
FADE IN: INT. SAM'S OFFICE - NIGHT
The camera pans up to show Bartlet, watching Sam think of his next move.
BARTLET
Take your time. [beat] See the whole board. [beat] Think happy thoughts...
SAM
Sir...
BARTLET
Sure.
He gets up, then sits down again on a farther chair, and starts munching on something.
BARTLET
The Spanish brought chess to the court of Charlemagne in 760 AD. Charlemagne is French for Charles
the Great. The Charles is a river in Boston. The Hudson River is actually not a river at all...
SAM
I’m taking your rook. [makes a haste movement on the board]
Bartlet gets up to make his move.
BARTLET
Now take your time. [beat] See the whole board.
SAM
The Hudson isn’t a river?
BARTLET
It is in the Catskills, but once it gets to Manhattan, it’s a tidal estuary.
SAM
Because it’s deeper than the body of water it flows into.
BARTLET
Yeah.
SAM
You mind my asking how the meeting with the Chinese ambassador went?
BARTLET
Well, how do you think it went?
SAM
I think they said if Taiwan tests the Patriots, they’ll start their exercises.
BARTLET
That’s right, except they didn’t call them Patriots. What did they call them?
SAM
US-made Patriots.
BARTLET
Right.
SAM
They want us to say we’re gonna roll back our sale of arms to Taiwan.
BARTLET
Good.
SAM
But we’re not going to stop arming Taiwan.
BARTLET
No.
SAM
Especially not now when they’re trying to hold free elections.
BARTLET
Right.
SAM
Plus it’s the law.
BARTLET
Yeah.
SAM
So we sell them the Orions and we sell them the AMRAAMs...
BARTLET
[looking at the board] Your move.
SAM
Hang on... You’ve got two carrier groups headed to the Taiwan Strait...
BARTLET
Move.
SAM
Plus, the Carl Vincent in the South China Sea... [moves a figure on the board]
Beijing wants you to scale back the weapons and you’re not going to do it...
BARTLET
Right. [takes one of Sam’s chess pieces] I gotta go back to Toby in the other room.
He’s trying a Balducci attack. [walks out]
SAM
How does it work?
BARTLET
See the whole board!
Sam leans back in his chair, alone, looking at the board.
SAM
The Aegis Destroyers.
CUT TO: INT C.J.’S OFFICE - NIGHT
C.J. is feeding Gail as Josh walks in.
JOSH
I’m going out for some pizza, do you want any?
C.J.
[walks towards him and grabs her coat] I’ll go get it. I want to get some air.
JOSH
We need three.
C.J.
45 minutes till Hartsfield’s Landing!
JOSH
We’re working the room.
C.J.
Good.
JOSH
It is absurd that 42 people have this kind of power.
C.J.
I think it’s nice.
JOSH
Do you?
C.J.
[gets her wallet from her purse] I think it’s democracy at its purest. They all gather at once...
JOSH
At a gas station.
C.J.
It’s not a gas station, it’s nice. [counts her money] There’s a registrar or voters, the names
are called in the alphabetical order, they put a folded piece of paper into a box. See, this
is the difference between you and me.
JOSH
You’re a sap?
C.J.
Those 42 people are teaching us something about ourselves: that freedom is the glory of God,
that democracy is its birthright, and that our vote matters.
JOSH
You’re getting the pizza?
C.J.
Yeah, I should call ahead.
She picks up the receiver, instead the whole phone is lifted. C.J. tries to tear the receiver
from the phone.
C.J.
He crazy-glued my phone.
JOSH
Who?
C.J.
Ha ha. Charlie! Charlie crazy-glued my phone. Okay. Okay... [chuckles] Now we’re playing
for keeps. [puts on her scarf and walks out]
Donna approaches Josh.
DONNA
Josh.
JOSH
How’d it go?
DONNA
I told them about the trade adjustment assistance.
JOSH
And?
DONNA
They’re not wild about the Canadian pulp thing but their real problem is the tax policy.
They want to go from an income tax to a sales tax.
JOSH
Is this gonna end up with Mackey Flender as Fed chair?
DONNA
I’m just telling you...
JOSH
Tell them a national sales tax is regressive. Poor people pay a much higher percentage of
their income. [They start walking down the hall.] Tell them we’ll study it.
DONNA
Okay. Is the President destroying the economy to save salmon?
JOSH
[stops] No.
DONNA
I’m having a hard time convincing them of that, too.
JOSH
[as they start walking again] There’s no salmon in New Hampshire!
DONNA
Mackey’s sister’s friend lives in Oregon.
JOSH
Tell them we haven’t made a decision on the salmon runs. Tell them salmon restoration is
important to the economy.
DONNA
Do you even know what they’re talking about?
JOSH
What am I – the fish guy? Tell them we’re looking into it.
They reach JOSH'S OFFICE.
DONNA
Uh.. they think the President is going to privatize Social Security.
JOSH
He’s not going to... That’s the other guys! He’s not going privatize Social Security! He’ll...
He’ll privatize New Hampshire before he privatizes Social Security!
DONNA
Yeah, but we haven’t ruled it out.
JOSH
‘Cause we told Congress we’d keep an open mind!
DONNA
They’re really prefer it if we ruled it out.
JOSH
[grabs a fat book off his shelf] Here. “Bartlet for New Hampshire.” Gives all the reasons why
Bartlet’s for the people of New Hampshire, the Flenders, everybody, all... 17 of them or...
whatever the hell goes on out there. Why are you wearing my coat?
DONNA
[takes the book and walks out] It’s warmer than my coat.
JOSH
Okay. Go.
When Donna leaves, Josh walks into the bullpen.
JOSH
Are we getting pizza?
EVERYONE
Yeah! Okay! Yes!
LEO
[comes up to Josh] What are you doing?
JOSH
Trying to get a little pizza in an uncivilized world.
LEO
It’s not easy being you, is it?
JOSH
No. Listen, so I shouldn’t sweat, right? There’s a predetermined time for the carrier groups?
LEO
You know what? Half of me wants to let them go.
JOSH
Half of you always wants to let them go. Half of everybody always wants to let them go.
LEO
They need 400,000 troops on high alert for thinking about holding an election. 400,000 troops
and a battery of Patriot missiles for thinking about having an election.
JOSH
You’re gonna turn the carrier groups around, right?
LEO
[smiles] We’ll see how the pizza turns out.
Leo walks past Josh outside the bullpen. Josh returns to his office and dials a number.
CUT TO: EXT. THE WHITE HOUSE GATES - NIGHT
Donna leaves the premises as her cell phone rings. She turns it on.
DONNA
Yeah?
JOSH
[on phone] Yeah, it’s me. I just want to remind you that child support collection is up 37%.
DONNA
What?
JOSH
I said child support collection is up 37%. We’re cracking up on deadbeat dads. I wanted to
make sure you told them that.
DONNA
Okay.
JOSH
Leo was just here.
DONNA
Yeah?
JOSH
He’s talking about Tawian, he’s saying 400,000 troops and a battery of Patriot missiles just
to think about holding free elections. You know, it was one of those things...
DONNA
Okay, listen, I’ve got to call them. We’re running out of time.
JOSH
Yeah, okay.
He hangs up the phone.
CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - NIGHT
Toby and Bartlet continue their game.
BARTLET
Let me tell you, you’re really showing me something tonight. A lot of spunk, a lot of pluck,
this game isn’t all about size, you know. There’s a little thing called heart, and you’ve
got it, my friend.
TOBY
You know what, old man? The very minute they swear in the next guy, you and I are going round
and round.
They each make a move on the board.
BARTLET
Check.
TOBY
[sighs] How did you get good?
BARTLET
I had a friend in school who taught me. He was good. He was ranked 18 and under. He was a
really nice guy, everybody liked him.
TOBY
What was his name?
BARTLET
David Wheaton. Everybody had a crush on his sister.
TOBY
You still see him?
BARTLET
He went on to Princeton and Christmas vacation, he’d saved up to go to San Francisco and he was
on the wharf and he saw a guy beating a woman up and he went in to stop it and the guy stabbed
him to death.
TOBY
Well, he taught you well.
BARTLET
So you know, I had this historic stretch of sleeplessness after our last meeting?
TOBY
I didn’t know.
BARTLET
Got so bad Leo brought in a guy from ATVA who worked with Josh.
TOBY
Isn’t he a trauma specialist?
BARTLET
Yeah, but we know him, and I figured he had to go to school for everything, so... Anyway, we
brought him in late at night.
TOBY
What did he say?
BARTLET
He said it was your fault. He said you shouldn’t bother me so much.
TOBY
I really am sorry about that.
BARTLET
I’m kidding.
TOBY
Yeah. I forgot for a second that you’re hilarious.
BARTLET
Let’s go ahead and say the Republicans nominate Ritchie.
TOBY
They will.
BARTLET
First of all, I’d stop for a moment and say, you know, ‘why?’ I mean they got some serious guys
in the field. Kalmbach, Daniel, Wesley?
TOBY
Democrats had a lot serious guys in the field, and they nominated you.
BARTLET
That’s true.
TOBY
[moves a chess piece] Check.
BARTLET
[responds with a move] You think the strike against me is nobody likes the smartest kid in the class.
TOBY
I don’t know, sir. Being a smartest kid in the class is a pretty good pitch, it’s not a strike
unless you watch it as it sails by.
BARTLET
I don’t do that.
TOBY
Check.
BARTLET
And I’m not a snob.
TOBY
I don’t believe you are.
BARTLET
If a guy is a good neighbor, if he puts in a day, if every once in a while he laughs, if every
once in a while he thinks about somebody else and, above all else, if he can find his way to
compassion and, and tolerance, then he’s my brother, I don’t give a damn if he didn’t get past
finger-painting. What I can’t stomach are people who’re out to convince people that the educated
are soft and privileged and out to make them feel like they’re less, then, you know, ‘he may be
educated, but I’m plain-spoken, just like you!’ Especially when we know that education can be a
silver bullet, it can be the silver bullet, Toby! For crime, poverty, unemployment, drugs, hate...
TOBY
Who are you trying to convince?
BARTLET
I’m saying I don’t watch the pitch go by.
TOBY
Check.
BARTLET
And if I do, it’s not because my father...
TOBY
Was an idiot.
BARTLET
[beat] Can we talk... God, can we talk about, please, can we talk about my father with some respect?
The man’s gone, can we... he’s my father, he wasn’t a Dickens character!
TOBY
Yes, sir.
Toby's hands are nervously clasped together. Bartlet sighs. Toby makes a move on the board.
LEO
[walks in] Mr. President?
BARTLET
Yeah.
Leo exits. Bartlet moves his queen.
BARTLET
Check.
Toby moves his king. Bartlet, his queen.
BARTLET
Check.
Toby retreats his king again. Bartlet moves his queen to take a bishop.
BARTLET
Check. I’ll be back.
He stands up and walks out in Leo’s direction.
BARTLET
Don’t cheat. I know exactly where the pieces on the board are. I know exactly where the pieces
are on Sam’s board. I know exactly where the pieces still are on David Wheaton’s. [leaves]
CUT TO: INT. LEO'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Nancy is inside with Leo as Bartlet walks in.
NANCY
Sir, the carriers are 35 minutes from the Strait now.
BARTLET
All right. [to Leo] You can bring the ambassador back now and get Beijing.
NANCY
I’m sorry, sir, it’s a formality, but...
LEO
She needs the order.
BARTLET
The Aegis Destroyers.
NANCY
Yes, sir. Just out of curiosity, what if that doesn’t work?
BARTLET
I don’t know, but for sure we’re gonna blame you.
NANCY
Yes, sir. [walks out]
LEO
What’s going on?
BARTLET
I don’t know. Toby keeps coming back at me with this... I don’t know. He says I let the pitch go by.
LEO
What pitch?
BARTLET
I soften... I smooth myself out publicly. It’s not a put-on, by the way, I’m honestly folksy.
LEO
Yeah.
BARTLET
Yeah what?
LEO
Yeah... nothing.
BARTLET
You agree with him?
LEO
I don’t think you let the pitch go by.
BARTLET
I don’t.
LEO
I think you foul it off.
BARTLET
Yeah, well, he keeps coming back at me.
LEO
Invited him back this time, didn’t you?
BARTLET
All right. [turns to go]
LEO
So? What are you doing?
BARTLET
Just playing some chess. [walks out]
FADE OUT.
END ACT THREE
* * *
ACT FOUR
FADE IN: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE LOBBY - NIGHT
C.J. walks in with pizza boxes, swipes her ID and continues walking as sirens break out and
Secret Service agents burst into the area.
TOMMY
Would you stay right there!
C.J.
Tommy, it’s me!
OFFICER 1
What happened?
TOMMY
She ran the card through.
C.J.
It must be bent or something.
OFFICER 2
Stay right there, please!
C.J.
I’m staying right here, I haven’t moved!
OFFICER 3
Look... [passes her ID card to another agent]
C.J.
Guys, it’s me!
TOMMY
The card says you’re Charles Young.
C.J.
Yes! Okay, well, obviously I’m not.
TOMMY
Why do you have a card that doesn’t belong to you?
C.J.
Becau...
LEO
[walks up from the back] What’s going on?
TOMMY
Mr. McGarry, this woman has a card that doesn’t belong to her.
LEO
C.J., what the hell...
C.J.
Charlie’s getting me back for...
She tries to make a step forward, but the Agents hold her back.
OFFICER
Stay where you are, please.
C.J.
Oh, my God.
LEO
Tommy, sign her in with an appointment.
C.J.
An appointment?!
LEO
Be in your office in 15 minutes.
C.J.
Can I move now?
The agents nod and dissolve. C.J. proceeds, frustrated.
CUT TO: EXT. THE WHITE HOUSE GATES - NIGHT
Donna is walking with her cell phone.
DONNA
Roberta... Roberta, those are all good points and perfectly valid areas of disagreement, but what
I don’t understand... I was saying, what I don’t understand is you guys were such fans of the
President, you loved him when he was governor, [stops at the gate] you worked so hard from when
he was campaigning... Yeah. Yeah. Well, he didn’t lie. No, he didn’t lie, Mackey, and I’ll...
and I’ll tell you what else: the man just accepted a Congressional censure, and I think it’s
time... And he should be held to a higher standard, and believe me he holds himself to a higher
standard, but sometimes you can’t meet it because Presidents aren’t kings. This one’s an economist
from New Hampshire and I think it’s time for you to get off your horse!
Josh struts out from behind, shivering in his suit.
JOSH
Donna.
DONNA
[sighs in exasperation] I... I’m standing out here in the middle of the night... Hold on, please.
[to Josh] You know, I’ve kind of had it now, too: they’re shocked and appalled and disappointed
but really, they’re none of those things, they just wish they were. So, never miss an opportunity
to feel morally superior... I don’t know. What do you want me to do now?
JOSH
Let them vote.
DONNA
What does that mean?
JOSH
I came out here to tell you to let them vote.
Donna stares at him. Josh takes the cell phone away from her.
JOSH
[into phone] Yeah, this is Josh Lyman. We just wanted to call and thank you again for all your
work and remind you that the polls in Hartsfield’s Landing open in fourteen minutes. Get the
chains in the truck, Mack? Okay, listen, tell your sister in Oregon I’m gonna try and learn
something about salmon. Right now, all I know is they’re good on a bagel. Good night.
He closes the phone.
JOSH
[to Donna] Maybe they are morally superior. Anyway, they get to vote.
Together, they walk back. Josh exhales loudly.
JOSH
It’s freezing out here. Can I have my coat back?
CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - NIGHT
Bartlet pours himself coffee at his desk.
TOBY
Abbey told me this story once. She said you were at a party once where you were bending the
guy’s ear. You were telling him that Ellie had mastered her multiplication tables and she
was in third grade reading at a fifth-grade level and she loved books and she scored two
goals for her soccer team the week before, you were going on and on... And what made that
story remarkable was that the party you were at was in Stockholm and the man you were talking
you was King Gustav, who two hours earlier had given you the Nobel Prize in economics.
[laughs] I mean, my god, you just won the Nobel Prize and all you wanted to talk about
to the King of Sweden was Ellie’s multiplication tables!
BARTLET
[approaches to sit across from him] What’s your point?
TOBY
You’re a good father, you don’t have to act like it. You’re the President, you don’t have
to act like it. You’re a good man, you don’t have to act like it. You’re not just folks,
you’re not plain-spoken... Do not – do not – do not act like it!
BARTLET
I don’t want to be killed.
TOBY
Then make this election about smart, and not... Make it about engaged, and not. Qualified,
and not. Make it about a heavyweight. You’re a heavyweight. And you’ve been holding me up
for too many rounds.
Toby lays down his king on the board to retire. Bartlet stands and turns to walk out.
BARTLET
Pick your king up. We’re not done playing yet.
CUT TO: INT. C.J.’S OFFICE - NIGHT
Charlie is inside as C.J. walks in.
C.J.
Hello.
CHARLIE
How you doing?
C.J.
You really want to dance with me?
CHARLIE
Wouldn’t it have been a lot easier to respect the rules and regulations?
C.J.
What are you doing in here?
CHARLIE
Leo told me to be here.
C.J.
Leo?
Leo walks in.
LEO
What the hell??!
C.J. and Charlie start talking at once.
C.J.
I want a copy of the daily schedule and Maryann the librarian over here told me I had to sign it out...
CHARLIE
You sign out a copy and this copy doesn’t leave the building, when C.J. decides she’s above all that...
More inaudible shouting.
C.J.
And he crazy-glued my phone!!!
LEO
All right. I think it’s fine that people blow off a little steam, but now it’s done, and it’s time
for one of you to be mature.
CHARLIE
Well God knows C.J.’s a lot more mature than I am.
C.J.
Hey!
CAROL
Excuse me, Leo?
LEO
Yeah.
CAROL
Nancy McNally is calling for you.
Leo leaves. C.J. and Charlie turn to each other.
C.J.
Okay. Well. Okay, it’s over. That’s that.
She throws her papers on her desk. The desk falls crashing to the floor. C.J. turns around
to Charlie, who is on his way out of the office.
C.J.
So, how long do you usually make people your bitch?
CHARLIE
Depends. [walks out]
C.J.
Okay...
CUT TO: INT. SAM'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Bartlet walks in and sits.
BARTLET
Sorry. I got tied up.
SAM
No, it’s fine.
BARTLET
Let’s get back to it.
SAM
You know, sir, I looked something up while you were gone. Eisenhower, it seemed, at all costs
wanted to avoid sending ships to resupply Quemoy and Matsu, ‘cause they’d be less then a mile
from the Chinese army. A private could... well, everybody was a private in Mao’s army, but a
private could fire on a ship and that’d be it. We’d be at war. We’d have to be.
BARTLET
Yeah.
SAM
Eisenhower wouldn’t do it.
BARTLET
No.
SAM
Why are you?
BARTLET
Look at the whole board.
SAM
I am.
BARTLET
You’re not.
SAM
I’m trying!
BARTLET
Sam...
SAM
Why were the carrier groups in the Taiwan Strait?
BARTLET
Are they in the Taiwan Strait?
SAM
They’re on their way.
BARTLET
Is that the same thing?
SAM
How does this end?
Leo knocks and walks into the office.
LEO
Sir.
BARTLET
[to Sam] Like this.
Bartlet walks to Leo to read the note he brought him.
BARTLET
Turn them around. I’ll make some calls and thank people.
LEO
Yes, sir.
BARTLET
Thank you, by the way.
LEO
You, too. [leaves]
Bartlet returns to Sam and hands him the piece of paper.
SAM
I’d like to try it without looking at the note.
BARTLET
[sits down] Okay.
SAM
China agrees to stand down the war games.
BARTLET
Right.
SAM
And they agree to let Taiwan test the Patriots. One Patriot.
BARTLET
Yes.
SAM
And we... Please, I want to be right about this. We agree not to sell Taiwan the Aegis Destroyers
for a period of... I don’t know... five years.
BARTLET
Ten years, but you’ve got it.
SAM
Sir, the Aegis... the Aegis radar technology isn’t something that... I mean, what if Taiwan
did fall to China? Now they have – plus these ships cost something like $800 million apiece.
Buying four of them would eat half of Taiwan’s defense budget.
BARTLET
And so...
SAM
You never were going to sell them the destroyers.
BARTLET
[shakes his head] But everybody wakes up alive in the morning and saves a little face.
SAM
[amazed] I don’t know how you... I don’t know the word, I... don’t know how you do it.
BARTLET
You have a lot of help. You listen to everybody and then you call the play. [rises to his feet]
Sam. You’re gonna run for President one day. Don’t be scared. You can do it. I believe in you.
[looks at the board] That’s checkmate.
Sam’s amazement fades a little bit.
CUT TO: INT. COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Bartlet and an agent walk out of the bullpen. Staffers continue to walk and work as we hear
the sounds of a television on the desk.
REPORTER
[on TV] Two roads, no traffic lights and Town Hall’s a filing cabinet and a countertop in the
clerk’s basement. But Hartsfield’s Landing, New Hampshire, is where democracy begins for the
world’s only superpower. It’s 12:01am, and the registrar of voters who’s also the principal
and only teacher at the Hartsfield’s school, calls the roll of voters.
As we follow another staffer who walks through the office, another TV mounted on the ceiling
shows the Hartsfield's Landing election in progress.
REGISTRAR
[on another TV] Claire Abernathy, please step up and cast your vote. [beat] Diana Abernathy,
please step up, cast your vote. [beat] Barney Braddock, please step up, cast your vote.
[beat] Lillian Braddock, Lillian’s 18, everyone! This is her first vote. Please step up and
cast your vote. [beat] Congratulations, Lillian.
The crowd applauds as each voter steps up to the counter, to drop their ballot in the ballot box,
which is under the banner “America’s first primary”.
DISSOLVE TO: END TITLES.
FADE TO BLACK.
THE END
* * *
The West Wing and all its characters are a property of Aaron Sorkin, John Wells
Production, Warner Brothers Television, and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended.
Episode 3.14 -- "Hartsfield's Landing"
Original Airdate: February 27, 2002, 9:00 PM EST
Transcribed by: Irene and Nomad
August 30, 2002