THE WEST WING
"ANGEL MAINTENANCE"
TELEPLAY BY: ELI ATTIE & AARON SORKIN
STORY BY: ELI ATTIE & KEVIN FALLS
DIRECTED BY: JESSICA YU
TEASER
FADE IN: INT. AIR FORCE ONE, PRESS CABIN - NIGHT
Most of the press are sleeping, but reporters Steve, Katie, Mark and C.J. are talking.
C.J.
Because it's 18 hours from Manila, it's 9:25 p.m., Eastern.
REPORTER MARK
It should be 10:25.
C.J.
We left Manila at 3:25 today.
MARK
We left Manila at 3:25 yesterday.
C.J.
In Manila, it was yesterday.
REPORTER KATIE
Was it?
C.J.
Well, no, actually, it was tomorrow, but it's 9:25 right now, Eastern. Agreed?
REPORTER STEVE
I've agreed that it's 9:25 from the beginning. I'm just saying it should be 9:25 in
the morning.
C.J.
But it's not, Steve; you can just look out the window and chack that one off the list.
LIEUTENANT COLONEL CAPLAN
[over P.A.] Ladies and gentlemen, from the flight deck, this is Lieutenant Colonel
Caplan. Colonel Weiskopf just told you that we were beginning our initial decent,
but Andrews approach has just asked us to make a left turn at Valhalla Vector,
maintain our altitude and proceed along Jet Route 5. We assume there's a problem
on the ground, and just as soon as they have it figured out, I'm sure they'll wave
us on in.
As the Colonel speaks over the P.A. system, the camera has panned from the press cabin
to the MEETING ROOM aboard Air Force One. Bartlet is on the phone with Leo. Ed and
Larry are also in the room.
BARTLET
[to Ed and Larry] He's telling me the deadline for Columbia's recertification is
midnight tonight.
LARRY
Yes, sir.
BARTLET
[to Leo] Didn't I sign those papers all ready?
CUT TO: INT. THE WEST WING, LEO'S OFFICE - NIGHT
LEO
Yes, sir, but the statue requires that you have an in-person briefing on the current
drug situation. So, we'll get you someone to do it in the car on the way in.
CUT TO: INT. AIR FORCE ONE, MEETING ROOM - NIGHT
BARTLET
Just to check, they're going to tell me that the narco-trafficantes are running the
Parliament, but that we should recertify them as an ally in the drug war.
LEO [VO]
It's a pro forma thing. It's better than having them as an enemy in the drug war.
BARTLET
You mean calling them an enemy.
LEO [VO]
I did.
LARRY
There's a statue that says you've got to be briefed in...
Charlie enters with Colonel Weiskopf.
CHARLIE
Excuse me, sir. Colonel Weiskopf to see you.
BARTLET
And the deadline for that is today, right?
LEO [VO]
Yes, sir.
BARTLET
Jessie, left turn, maintain altitude?
COLONEL WEISKOPF
[to Ed and Larry] Would you excuse us, please?
Ed and Larry gather their papers and leave.
BARTLET
Leo, hang on a second. [to Weiskopf] What's the problem on the ground?
WEISKOPF
There's no problem on the ground. When we deployed Hydraulic System One, our nose wheel
indicator light didn't illuminate. Now, chances are, it's a problem with the indicator
light itself, but at the moment, we have no way of knowing if our front wheel's locked.
An f-16's been scrambled from Durbin Air Force Base; they'll be here in 22 minutes.
BARTLET
Then what happens?
WEISKOPF
They pull up alongside, try to get a visual read.
BARTLET
And then what happens?
WEISKOPF
If we don't have our wheels?
BARTLET
Yeah.
WEISKOPF
There are a number of options at that point.
BARTLET
You'll keep me briefed?
WEISKOPF
Yes, sir.
BARTLET
Thank you.
WEISKOPF
Thank you, Mr. President.
Colonel Weiskopf leaves.
BARTLET [to Leo]
Listen, we've got a problem up here.
SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES.
END TEASER
* * *
ACT ONE
FADE IN: INT. LEO'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Leo is still on the phone talking to Bartlet.
LEO
Listen to me, are you listening? This is one of those things that sounds worse than
it is. I can'y tell you how many times this happens, it's a 30-cent piece of plastic.
BARTLET
Well, it should cost more, don't you think?
LEO
A friend of mine landing a Beechcraft at Teteboro, puts down the gear, the wheels fall
right off the plane, he ditched it near the Throgs Neck Bridge.
BARTLET
You got a lot more of these stories?
LEO
Oh, yeah, a thousand of them. Seriously, man, if they dug a grave for me everytime
I lost an indicator light.
BARTLET
I've got a plane full of reporters up here.
LEO
C.J. will know what to do.
Charlie enters.
CHARLIE
Sir?
C.J. and Will enter.
BARTLET
[to Leo] We'll we're going to give it a try. [hangs up phone]
C.J.
Good evening, Mr. President.
BARTLET
Charlie, stay in here, would you? Here's what's going on. The light that indicates
that the landing gear is locked didn't go on, which usually indicates that there's
something wrong with the light. But what they're going to do is, they've sent a
fighter jet to fly up alongside and get visual confirmation that it's down, and then
we land. Here's the tricky part.
C.J.
Here's the tricky part?
BARTLET
The press can't know this is going on. There are two issues. One is that the Nikkei's
about to open, the other is national security. We can't broadcast that Air Force One
is up in the air over West Virginia and can't land.
C.J.
The co-pilot told us it was a problem on the ground; we'll stay with that.
WILL
What are we going to tell them when they see an Air Force Strikefighter outside their
window?
C.J.
That's gonna take some thought.
BARTLET
Okay.
C.J.
Thank you.
C.J. and Will exit into the HALLWAY.
C.J.
Can you give me some tarmac jargon? What would be happening on the ground that the
plane can't land?
WILL
We shouldn't give them too many details. Let's say, you know, a runway incursion.
A maintenance truck caused a fuel spill on the runway they want us to use.
C.J.
Are you all right?
WILL
Yeah.
C.J.
Ed, Larry, can you talk to Will for a second?
C.J. walks into the PRESS CABIN.
C.J.
Has anyone else noticed that Chris's been on the phone for the last 20 minutes but
hasn't spoken?
REPORTER CHRIS
Hang on.
C.J.
Hey, who remembers Dial-a-Joke?
REPORTER ARTHUR
C.J., what the hell's going on?
C.J.
A maintenance truck caused a fuel spill on our runway a few minutes ago, and they're
cleaning it up.
CHRIS
C.J.
C.J.
I don't know how long it's going to take.
Reporter Chris motions C.J. to follow her. They walk into the STAFF CABIN.
CHRIS
That was a stringer we use on the Ivory Coast. He's got double confirmation that there
were friendly fire deaths in Kuhndu a few hours ago.
C.J.
Thanks.
Chris goes back to the press cabin. C.J. walks over to the wall and picks up the phone.
C.J.
Signal, this is C.J. Cregg. I need you to page Leo McGarry with a call holding.
CUT TO: INT. THE WEST WING, THE ROOSEVELT ROOM - NIGHT
CONGRESSMAN TOM LANDIS
Does it still feel like there's too much regulation?
JOSH
No.
LANDIS
No, I'm not saying, "Is there?" I'm saying, "Does it feel like there is?"
JOSH
Stop thinking like a Republican.
LANDIS
I am a Republican.
JOSH
And that's fine, I have nothing with that; I really don't. I'm just saying stop
thinking like that.
LANDIS
It's thinking like one that's going to get this bill passed, and I'm tell you, if it
feels like, in the toxic provision, that there's too much regulation...
JOSH
It's cleaning up Chesapeake Bay; it's not regulation, and regulation is what
Congressmen do.
LANDIS
Oh, not Republican Congressmen; we look out for local businessman.
JOSH
Well, when the Chesapeake starts turning flourescent colors, local business is gonna
have a bigger problem.
LANDIS
Well, that's why I'm supporting this bill.
JOSH
And that's why the President's signing it.
LANDIS
Good, but you skipped the part where the majority of Congress votes for it. So, I'm
asking you again; does it feel too...?
JOSH
No, it doesn't... feel too regulated; it doesn't have the texture of how do you say,
the je ne sais quios...
LANDIS
Shut up.
JOSH
...of big government.
LANDIS
Shut up. Let's get back to work.
Donna enters and places a note infront of Josh.
JOSH
What does Chesapeake mean?
LANDIS
Big Shellfish Bay. You never spend any time there?
JOSH
No.
LANDIS
Oh, it's incredibly beautiful.
DONNA
Josh.
LANDIS
[to Donna] You ever been there?
DONNA
Chesapeake Bay?
LANDIS
Uh-huh.
DONNA
No.
Josh reads the note.
JOSH
There was a fuel spill on the ground at Andrews. They've to clean it up before he
can land.
LANDIS
Oh man, after an 18-hour flight?
JOSH
Yeah, I'm gonna head back to my office. Why don't you guys move on to point/nonpoint
source pollution and the storm runoff; I'll be back in a few minutes.
Josh and Donna walk into the HALLWAY.
JOSH
They're having a problem with their landing gear?
DONNA
I know, I wrote the note.
JOSH
No, you wrote they're having a problem with their landing geek.
DONNA
They've got to stay up there awhile and check it out.
JOSH
Yeah, but they're saying it's nothing though, right?
DONNA
They're saying, yeah, they're saying it's a light.
JOSH
All right, do me a favor, I wanted the President to look at the Medicare rules.
DONNA
I'll fax them up there.
They run into Congressmen SEGAL and SIMMEL.
CONGRESSMAN SEGAL
Josh.
JOSH
Congressmen.
SEGAL
We just had a meeting canceled.
JOSH
Yeah, they spilled something on the runway; I just got part of the story.
SEGAL
Runway incursion it's called. Nothing like flying 8,000 miles and then circling the
parking lot.
CONGRESSMAN SIMMEL
You... you were with Landis?
JOSH
I'm sorry?
SIMMEL
You were working with Tom Landis?
JOSH
Donna...
DONNA
You want me to fax those things?
JOSH
Yeah, and you can try and get me C.J. on the phone.
DONNA
It's a "r."
JOSH
It's a "k."
Donna leaves.
JOSH
Chesapeake Bay cleanup.
SIMMEL
We talked about this.
JOSH
It's nothing. It's Chesapeake Bay cleanup.
SIMMEL
He's a vulnerable Republican. You can't hand him victories, you're giving him his
seat back.
JOSH
It's a bipartisan bill. It's a victory for us. It's an environmental bill; the
Republicans hate it. It's incredibly regulatory.
SIMMEL
I don't care, it's got his name on it. He's delivering Chesapeake Bay to Maryland.
They are going to reelect him.
JOSH
Well, I appreciate your thoughts.
SEGAL
Josh, you know what some Hill Democrats call the Bartlet reelect? They call it the
lonely lanslide. There's a sentiment that the President wanted a Republican Congress...
JOSH
And that's absurd.
SIMMEL
Then why are you helping one of the most vulnerable Republicans rack up...
SEGAL
You're making an argument for divided government.
JOSH
Divided governemnt's what we got. We should go on a hunger strike?
SIMMEL
No, but do you want to take back the House or what? Because if Hill Democrats don't
think your hearts are really in it...
JOSH
Then what?
SIMMEL
There's a reason they're calling it a lonely landslide. I mean, we've talked about this.
Anyway, have a good night.
JOSH
Good night, Congressmen.
Toby enters the hallway from the lobby.
JOSH
Toby.
TOBY
They just told me.
JOSH
Donna's getting C.J. on the phone.
TOBY
I sent Will to the Philippines in my place.
JOSH
It's not like they're not going to fix it. You don't have to feel guilty about it.
TOBY
No, I mean, thank God, I sent Will in my place.
Josh knocks on LEO'S OFFICE and they enter.
JOSH
How long before they know?
LEO
They're about five minutes away.
TOBY
Well, that's about all the time C.J.'s got to work with up there 'cause Leo, there's
a wire service guy standing at Andrews right now whose job it is to record the wheels
downtime and pretty soon he's gonna say, "Show me the fuel spill."
LEO
A wire guy on the ground? Toby, 20 White House reporters are about to see a supersonic
fighter jet 200 feet outside their window. It's gonna be a story, but he's gonna be
down by then. A couple hours ago, we lost five guys in friendly fire in Kuhndu.
TOBY
What happened?
LEO
A platoon of infantrymen called in an air-strike during live fire training off the
western coast. There was a GPS error and they became the target.
TOBY
Oh, God.
LEO
I need you to talk to Mark Richardson right away tonight. He's speaking at Brookings
tomorrow, and he's coming out against U.S. invovlement in Kundu.
TOBY
Well, we knew he felt that way.
LEO
We didn't know he was saying so and doing it at the Brookings Institution, so let's
see what we can do.
TOBY
Okay.
Josh and Toby exit to the HALLWAY.
JOSH
They called in an air raid and the computer hit them as a target. How'd you like to
have to be the guy that explains that?
TOBY
Were Simmel and Segal giving you a hard time about the Chesapeake cleanup?
JOSH
They're not big fans of mine.
TOBY
I meant 'cause of the nuisance of having to circle around up there. When I said, "Thank
God, I sent Will instead of me," not 'cause of the other thing.
JOSH
I know what you meant.
CUT TO: INT. AIR FORCE ONE, STAFF CABIN - NIGHT
C.J. is sitting down next to Larry and Ed, who has a laptop on his lap. Will walks
over to them.
WILL
It's going to be along the rightside of the plane, and we're going to be in the area
of Harper's Ferry.
C.J.
Blue Ridge Mountains, what can we look at?
LARRY
At night?
C.J.
Anything with lights or fireworks?
ED
[reading from computer screen] It's Wildfire Week at Shenandoah National Park. Lilacs,
ochre, crimson.
C.J.
Do they light up?
WILL
We're nowhere near Shenandoah National park; it's a whole different state.
ED
I was looking at Blue Ridge Mountains.
C.J.
Any kind of Festival of Lights or astronomy? Is there a comet?
CHARLIE
C.J. and Will.
C.J. and Will get up and follow Charlie to the MEETING ROOM.
BARTLET
Yeah, it's confirmed. Five infantrymen, they're on their way back.
C.J.
Have the families been notified?
BARTLET
No. I'm going to do that when I get on the ground. Will, I was supposed to get a
Columbia recertification briefing in the car. Are you in a position to do it up here?
WILL
You wouldn't rather have someone from State?
BARTLET
That statue says it's got to be in person.
WILL
Yeah, I can do it. What are you certifying?
BARTLET
That Columbia is an ally in the drug war. So what's the plan?
C.J.
Ed and Larry are looking for something in the Blue Ridge Mountains.
BARTLET
At night?
C.J.
Something with lights.
BARTLET
Is that gonna work?
WILL
I don't see how it possibly can fail.
BARTLET
All right, let's get this over with and land.
FADE OUT.
END ACT ONE
* * *
ACT TWO
FADE IN: INT. AIR FORCE ONE, KITCHENETTE AREA - NIGHT
Will comes out of the lavatory.
C.J.
Okay, its time. It's a minute away.
WILL
Okay.
WILL AND C.J.
Good luck.
WILL
Did you say, "good luck," to me?
C.J.
Yeah.
WILL
You're doing it.
C.J.
No, you have to. I screw with them all them time. They're not going to but it from me.
WILL
They're not going to but it from anybody. That plane's going to be really close.
C.J.
It's not worth a try? Look at me. Look at my face. It's not worth a try?
WILL
"Look at me, look at my face..."?
C.J.
Listen.
WILL
I'm going.
Will goes over to the PRESS CABIN.
WILL
Hey, uh, listen everybody, the Colonel just told us that we're about to go by something
incredible. And you hardly ever get to see this. It's going to be out the left side of
the plane.
REPORTER JOHN
What is it?
WILL
Got to come over to the left side. Everybody, over here. It's coming up.
All the reporters, except for Chris, get up and go over to the left side of the plane
to look out the windows.
REPORTER STEVE
What are we over?
WILL
Well, we're, uh, over the Blue Ridge Mountains, but there's a Festival of Lights and
Bonfires in this region that accompany something called the Wildflower-- you know,
Renaissance, with lilac and ochre.
REPORTER MARK
That you can see from 33,000 feet?
WILL
Yes, it's arranged in a pattern that befuddles astronomers to this day. We should be
coming up on it any...
REPORTER CHRIS
Oh, my God!
All the reporters turn around and sees a fighter jet flying by the right side through
the windows.
WILL
Of course, on the right side of the plane is an F-16 Falcon.
REPORTER STEVE
C.J., what the hell's going on?
REPORTER KATIE
He's on our wing.
The reporters all start yeling out questions.
REPORTERS
Have we been attacked? Is that one of ours? There's only one? What's going on? Is that
one of ours?
The reporters start to pick up the phones on the plane. C.J. hesitates then picks up
the phone on the wall.
C.J.
Signal, this is C.J. Cregg. Shut off the phones in the press cabin.
C.J. hangs up the phone. The reporters all stop murmuring, and look at C.J..
C.J.
There's a problem with the plane's landing gear.
REPORTERS
C.J.? C.J.?
CUT TO: INT. AIR FORCE ONE, HALLWAY - NIGHT
Bartlet is standing in the hallway. Colonel Weiskopf descends the steps from the cockpit.
BARTLET
Is it down?
WEISKOPF
I'm sorry, sir. We don't know yet.
BARTLET
Why not?
WEISKOPF
Well, there's no moon tonight. It's tough for them to see under the plane, but they're
still trying.
BARTLET
What's next?
WEISKOPF
We do a flyby at Andrews tower and take a look.
BARTLET
How close do we fly to the tower?
WEISKOPF
We're going to have to fly pretty close.
BARTLET
At what altitude?
WEISKOPF
Pretty low.
BARTLET
And we just can't stay up here for a couple of days and wait till there's a moon?
WEISKOPF
We'll let the boys next door in the Falcon poke around a little bit first, but I want
to tell you.
BARTLET
What else?
WEISKOPF
We're going to have to refuel pretty soon.
Colonel Weiskopf leaves.
BARTLET
Larry, would you go back and mention that to C.J.?
LARRY
Yes, sir.
CUT TO: INT. AIR FORCE ONE, PRESS CABIN - NIGHT
C.J.
No one up here's in a position to file right now.
REPORTER MARK
Not in a position to...? Air Force One isn't landing, and it has a military escort.
C.J.
That's the story you'd file? You wouldn't mention the landing gear?
REPORTER STEVE
We'd mention the landing gear, right along with the maintenance truck and whatever you
tell us next.
C.J.
Come on. The maintenance truck was an honest effort to avoid panic. Of course, you were
going to know the truth at the end of the incident.
Larry enters and whispers in Will's ear.
REPORTER JOHN
C.J.?
C.J.
I'm not going to broadcast that the President's plane is in distress. It creates very
real security concerns, and it also happens to be a world market event.
STEVE
It is a market event.
C.J.
The story's embargoed. If a cellphone appears in violation of FAA regulations, the
cell phone will be confiscated by a steward.
REPORTERS
C.J.? C.J.?
WILL
[whispers in C.J.'s ear] They're going to refuel.
C.J.
[to reporters] They want to refuel.
C.J., Will, and Larry walk into the STAFF CABIN.
C.J.
How do they do that?
WILL
Well, instead of an F-16 coming up next to us, a KC-10 is going to, well, land on top
of us. They know how to do it.
They go back to the PRESS CABIN.
C.J.
Yeah, they're going to do a midair refueling with a KC-10.
REPORTER CHRIS
What does that mean?
C.J.
It means they think we're going to be up here a little while longer.
CUT TO: INT. THE WEST WING, LEO'S OFFICE - NIGHT
MARGARET
How much longer can they stay up there?
LEO
Theoretically, they can keep getting refueled for months.
MARGARET
I don't really see that happening.
LEO
Me, neither. The Falcon's going to give them a thumb's up, or thumb's down.
MARGARET
And if it's thumb's down, they lay down foam?
LEO
You guys shouldn't be talking about it out there, all right?
There's a knock on the door. Josh enters.
JOSH
You want me?
LEO
You had a conversation with Simmel and Segal a little while ago?
JOSH
About the Chesapeake cleanup.
LEO
They're just pissed as hell that Tom Landis is sitting out there working in the
Roosevelt Room.
JOSH
He didn't storm the gate.
JOSH
Well, they would have preferred he had, to your opening it for him.
JOSH
I get the House is angry we didn't take back the House, and setting aside the fact it
was their damn fault and not ours-- stopping all bipartisan legislation is like saying,
"Let's blow up the place. Maybe voters will hire us to rebuild it."
LEO
I'm with you, but I need you guys to make a small change to Chesapeake.
JOSH
We're finishing it now. What do you need?
LEO
The caucus chair and the D-triple-C want to add revenue enhancement-- a dedicated levy
from local businesses-- and they want binding targets on all the nonpoint source stuff.
JOSH
Okay. That's about three different ways of saying a brand-new tax on local business.
LEO
Yes.
JOSH
I'm fine with that. Fact, I'm all for it, but Tom's got to take this back to Republicans.
LEO
And we have to take it to Democrats, and it's reasonable. We put the same provisions
in Superfund.
JOSH
Super. What's going on up there?
LEO
[yelling] Margaret, get me the Sit Room. [to Josh] The F-16's having trouble seeing the
gear, 'cause it's a moonless night. They just took on another four hours worth of fuel.
MARGARET
[over speaker phone] On one.
Leo picks up the phone.
LEO
Major, are we comfortable any longer with the plane up there by itself? I agree. And
there's going to be a wire service reporter on the ground at Andrews who's going to
start seeing something. You better have them spill some fuel out there. Please, on a
runway we're not going to need. [hangs up the phone, yells to Margaret] The President.
[to Josh] Well, at least all our friends are going to have some company now. The 22nd
Tactical Fighter Wing with their missiles armed.
CUT TO: INT. MARK RICHARDSON'S RECEPTION AREA - NIGHT
TOBY
I'm Toby Ziegler.
AIDE BILL
He's waiting for you, you can go in.
TOBY
Thank you.
Toby walks in MARK RICHARDSON'S OFFICE.
TOBY
Congressman, I'm afraid I have some bad news. One of your constituents died today.
Gunnery Sergeant Harold Dokes from Bedford Stuyvesant. It was a friendly fire accident.
Five guys reported fire, and a computer popped their coordinates. And their bodies are
being flown here now.
MARK RICHARDSON
What do you want to talk to me about?
TOBY
Your speech at the Brookings Institution tomorrow. Congressman, are you opposing
intervention in Kuhndu because so far, it's the black kids who are doing the dying?
RICHARDSON
Toby, I'm opposing the intervention in Kuhndu because I'm still waiting for an
intervention in Brooklyn.
TOBY
Yeah, but the fact that this is immediate. I mean to say, the mass slaughter of tens of
thousands of Africans-- mostly young men-- which calls for...
RICHARDSON
I understand what it... You ever been to a maximum-security prison?
TOBY
Maximum? No.
RICHARDSON
It's the black kids who are doing the dying there, too.
TOBY
The lives we're saving in Kuhndu-- and I agree...
RICHARDSON
I wasn't elected by the lives we're saving in Kuhndu. I was elected by the lives that
are doing the saving.
TOBY
But you agree there ar moral imperatives?
RICHARDSON
Well, if there are moral imperatives, then you've got to tell me we are going to get
everybody. Beginning with the Saudis.
TOBY
Mark, obviously, we need votes from the Black Caucus next week. Are you telling me it
isn't in the vested interest of Black America?
RICHARDSON
It is in the vested interest of working-class America-- black, latino and yes, even
white-- to be able to choose between more than a McDonald's uniform and a Marine
uniform.
TOBY
And how is opposing the peacekeeping bill at Brookings going to achieve...?
RICHARDSON
I'm not opposing the peacekeeping bill. In fact, the whole Black Caucus is going to
stand behind it, but with a proposed amendment.
TOBY
Doing what?
RICHARDSON
Reinstating the draft. I think the kids in my district are going to live longer if
their fortunes are tied a little more closely to the fortunes of the kids in Josh
Lyman's district.
TOBY
You want to draft a million middle-class kids out of spite?
RICHARDSON
Well, I don't want to draft anybody out of anything. I'm just trying to promote some
patriotic unity. Bill!
BILL enters.
BILL
Yes, sir?
RICHARDSON
Can you find out for me when the President expects to call the parents of Gunnery
Sergeant Harold Dokes? I'll be next in line.
BILL
Yes, sir.
Bill leaves and Toby starts to put on his coat.
RICHARDSON
Want a drink?
TOBY
Thank you.
Toby takes his coat back off while Richardson fixes him a drink.
FADE OUT.
END ACT TWO
* * *
ACT THREE
FADE IN: INT. JOSH'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Josh is sitting at his desk and Donna walks past the door. She walks back by and enters.
DONNA
You know what gripes my ass?
Josh, who was drinking from a water bottle, chokes a little.
DONNA
How you doing?
JOSH
Good.
DONNA
If anything ever happened to me, chances are going to be when I'm sitting next to you,
and I'm going to be an also-dead. "Senoir Bartlet advisor Joshua Lyman killed by a pack
of wild dogs. Also dead, Diane Moss."
JOSH
Huh?
DONNA
I'm not feeling useful right now. I think I should know how to do more things here.
JOSH
No one's feeling useful right now.
DONNA
No, you're doing things. You're doing something right now. What are you doing right now?
JOSH
What are you doing right now?
DONNA
Nothing, this is my point.
They go out to JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA, then to the LOBBY.
JOSH
How come you go out with so many Republicans?
DONNA
I don't.
JOSH
You do. Cliff, Commander Wonderful, Dr. Freeride.
DONNA
I don't know. I get a pretty good response to the personal ad I put in Roll call--
"Seeking 30-something male into motions to recommit." I'm not kidding. I can do more.
I want to learn how.
JOSH
Do you know how to lock the landing gear?
DONNA
No.
CUT TO: INT. LEO'S OUTER OFFICE - NIGHT
LEO
Let's go. You got the, uh...?
MARGARET
Yeah.
LEO
And the, uh...?
MARGARET
Here.
LEO
Thank you.
MARGARET
Can I ask? What does the foam do exactly?
LEO
On the runway?
They exit to the HALLWAY.
MARGARET
Yeah.
LEO
It's flame retardant. They're worried about fire.
MARGARET
But it's not impact retardant though, is it? I mean, the plane would still-- coming out
of the sky at some velocity-- have to land on concrete.
LEO
You can take this back to the office.
He hands Magaret a folder and sees Toby entering the West Wing.
LEO
Any movement?
TOBY
No.
LEO
He knows about the kid from Bed-Stuy?
TOBY
Yeah, he's got a long list of kids from Bed-Stuy. The Black Caucus is going to back the
peacekeeping bill, if we back their amendment to reinstate the draft.
LEO
He's really going through with that stunt?
TOBY
Yeah.
LEO
Well, the left's come full cricle, hasn't it? By the way, not for nothing but draftees
are nearly as well-trained. It's why there was so many casualties in Vietnam.
TOBY
Right, also the Vietcong.
LEO
Plus that.
Leo begins to walk down the hall.
TOBY
What if we said we'd allow debate?
LEO
It's a stunt and Kuhndu is for real. We can't get involved in... Talk to OMB, and find
out what we can give him. Wake somebody up. I got to go meet with Nancy.
CUT TO: INT. AIR FORCE ONE, THE PRESIDENT'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Bartlet is playing solitaire. Will is sitting on a coach giving Bartlet the briefing
on Columbia.
BARTLET
Is cocaine production in Columbia up or down?
WILL
It's up 200 percent.
BARTLET
And how many of our extradition requests have been honored?
WILL
Uh... none.
BARTLET
None.
WILL
No, there was... uh, yes, none.
BARTLET
Any good news? Anything we can hang our hat on?
WILL
Their attorney general reported that their narcotics people embezzled two million
dollars of their anti-drug money.
BARTLET
That's good news?
WILL
Usually, they don't report it.
BARTLET
What they spend it on? If you tell me coccaine...
WILL
No, sir, vacations.
BARTLET
So, I recertify them in recognition of the fact that they took our anti-drug money
and went to Seaworld.
WILL
And reported it.
BARTLET
All right, leave that stuff with me.
WILL
Thank you, Mr. President.
Will exits the Presidents office, and goes to the HALLWAY. Charlie takes a drink out of
a mini refrigerator.
CHARLIE
You want one?
WILL
Hmm?
CHARLIE
You want a beer?
WILL
No, thanks. [sits down]
CHARLIE
It's going to be fine.
WILL
What do you mean?
CHARLIE
I know you're afraid of flying.
WILL
I'm not.
CHARLIE
I can tell.
C.J. enters.
C.J.
Four hours of fuel they took on. Did you even know it was up there?
CHARLIE
Will's afraid of flying.
WILL
I'm not.
C.J.
It's okay. You're afraid of flying.
WILL
I'm not. I'm not afraid of flying. I experience flying.
C.J.
Why'd you sign up for the Air Force Reserve?
WILL
I did it for a lot of reasons, and one of them was the romance of flight, but I got
over that. I never thought that would happen. But these guys practice hard landings
all the time. This isn't a big deal.
Will pops his neck. Charlie and C.J. look at him like he's crazy and walk away.
CUT TO: INT. THE WEST WING, THE ROOSEVELT ROOM - NIGHT
Tom Landis and other staffers are working when Josh enters.
JOSH
Hey, everybody, how's it going in here?
LANDIS
Good. How's it going out there?
JOSH
I don't know why it's taking so long to clean fuel up off a runway. It must be...
I don't know.
LANDIS
Can't use another runway?
JOSH
I guess not.
LANDIS
What about landing at Dulles?
JOSH
I'm sure that's what they are going to do if, you know... Listen, uh, I want to read
over what we got now. But we're all done here, except the Causcus Chair wants to add
something we had on Superfund, which is revenue enhancements.
LANDIS
The Caucus Chair wants revenue enhancements?
JOSH
Yeah.
LANDIS
A tax on local business.
JOSH
A dedicated levy.
LANDIS
That's a tax.
JOSH
Yeah.
LANDIS
Is this coming from the Caucus Chair or the D-triple-C?
JOSH
Both.
LANDIS
The Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee wants a dedicated levy?
JOSH
We can find more offsets. There's a way to do this.
LANDIS
You guy want to pass this or not?
JOSH
Of course we want to... Whatever Republican votes we may lose, we're going to make up
on the other side.
LANDIS
It's not going to get out of Committee.
Donna enters.
DONNA
I'm sorry.
JOSH
Yes, it will. Now you got to stay here. You got to find more offsets and more ways to
bury them.
LANDIS
It's 18 million to cleanup Chesapeake Bay. It's nothing. It's watershed management.
JOSH
Yes.
Josh goes into the HALLWAY with Donna.
DONNA
Leo wants you to call these members of the Congressional Black Caucus.
LEO
The Black Caucus just walked off the Kundu Peacekeeping Bill.
DONNA
And he'd like you to work with airlift Ops on Angel Maintenance procedures. We're going
to need it when they land.
JOSH
What are Angel Maintenance procedures?
DONNA
I'm sorry, "Angel" is the Airlift Operations code word for Air Force One.
JOSH
I didn't know that.
They reach JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA.
DONNA
Anyway, C.J.'s going to be answering questions about maintenance procedures, and she's
going to need to be briefed.
JOSH
Why didn't I know that Airlift Ops calls the plane "Angel"?
DONNA
I'm usually the one who deals with them.
JOSH
All right, well, deal with them now.
DONNA
No, not on this.
JOSH
Yeah.
DONNA
I talk to them about people's luggage.
JOSH
Well, we don't have a problem with people's luggage tonight. You call your guys at
Airlift ops. Tell them they got to get you ready to educate the Press Secretary on
maintenance procedures as soon as Angel's on the ground.
Josh walks into his office.
DONNA
Karen?
KAREN
Yeah.
DONNA
Make these phone calls for Josh, please.
CUT TO: INT. AIR FORCE ONE, THE PRESIDENT'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Bartlet is talking to Leo on the phone.
BARTLET
How many times-- seriously, Leo-- how many times has the Black Caucus on retreats,
at dinners... how many times have they...? There was a dinner two years where the
Vice Chairs literally pulled out a map of Africa. They wanted me to make Africa a
priority. And now they're making me look like a idiot.
LEO [VO]
Well, Mark's got a tough district.
BARTLET
Well, now they want me to make Brooklyn a priority. And when did these guys become
Smoot and Hawley? Hang on a second.
Bartlet spots Weiskopf coming down the stairs. He opens his door.
BARTLET
[to Leo] Jessie Weiskopf's coming down, and he ain't smiling.
Bartlet goes out to the HALLWAY.
WEISKOPF
No, sir, they're unable to get a visual read. We're going to go ahead with the fly-by
at Andrews.
BARTLET
Okay, and how long do you think this'll take?
WEISKOPF
Probably about an hour and 15 minutes.
BARTLET
An hour and 15? Where are we?
WEISKOPF
We're over Central Tennessee. They took us off the jet routes.
BARTLET
All right, pretty soon though, we got to stop just flying around.
WEISKOPF
Yes, sir.
Bartlet walks back to the OFFICE. He talks to Leo again.
BARTLET
This is starting to qualify as space travel now.
LEO [VO]
What's going on?
BARTLET
The Falcon couldn't get a visual read, so we're going to buzz the tower at Andrews in
a Boeing 747. Weiskopf says it's going to be an hour and 15 minutes. I'm going to call
the families from up here of the five guys.
LEO [VO]
We'll send up those phone numbers.
BARTLET
Thanks.
CUT TO: INT. THE WEST WING, LEO'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Leo is in his office with Margaret.
LEO
Thank you, Mr. President. [hangs up] They're going to fly by the towers at Andrews.
MARGARET
My question about the foam is that the steel is still landing on concrete.
LEO
They have their back wheels. Can you get me C.J.?
CUT TO: INT. AIR FORCE ONE, STAFF CABIN - NIGHT
Will is sitting in a chair writing when Bartlet comes up to him.
BARTLET
Will.
WILL
Yes, sir.
BARTLET
I'm going to call the families now. They're going to send up some information. Can you
help me out?
WILL
Yes, sir.
BARTLET
Just give this to C.J. You should read it on the way.
WILL
Yes, sir.
BARTLET
Do me a favor. Find out what happens if I don't certify Columbia. Find out what happens
if I decertify Columbua.
WILL
Really?
BARTLET
If I'm going to be up here, I may as well do something.
WILL
Yes, sir.
BARTLET
The fly-by's going to take about an hour and 15 minutes. Would you tell C.J.?
WILL
Yes, sir.
CUT TO: INT. PRESS CABIN - NIGHT
It's quiet in the press cabin. The reporters are sitting in their seats and C.J. is
pacing up the aisle.
REPORTER KATIE
C.J.?
C.J.
Yeah.
KATIE
If there is an issue of national security...
C.J.
There is.
KATIE
Isn't it also a national issue for everyone down there?
REPORTER JOHN
In other words, turn on the damn phones.
C.J.
Somebody ask Steve what time it is. It's going to crack you up.
JOHN
C.J.
C.J.
How is it a threat to anyone on the ground?
STEVE
Air Force One doesn't generally break all by itself.
C.J.
Steve...
STEVE
Claudia, in a room someplace they're talking about the possibility the plane was
sabotaged.
C.J.
By screwing with the front wheel?
MARK
If the malfunction's because of a leak in the hydraulics and they try to recycle the
wheel, the front end of the plane's going to blow up.
C.J.
No, your right. I should definitely let you use the phone.
Will enters and hands C.J. a note. C.J. reads the note.
C.J.
We're going to do a fly-by at Andrews. This thing's almost over.
FADE OUT.
END ACT THREE
* * *
ACT FOUR
FADE IN: EXT. PORTICO - NIGHT
Leo is out on the portico smoking a cigarette. Toby exits through the Outer Oval
Office and approaches Leo.
TOBY
What are you doing?
LEO
Hey.
TOBY
What are you doing?
LEO
Did OMB have anything?
TOBY
Budget didn't have anything Mark wants. He can call OMB himself. Leo, let's say we study...
LEO
Come on.
TOBY
Study some version of his amendment.
LEO
We'll look ridiculous.
TOBY
It's not ridiculous.
LEO
It's a stunt.
TOBY
It is, but it's not ridiculous. We say we're going to study the draft and...
LEO
There's never going to be a draft.
TOBY
Mark knows that. He wants the debate. We want our peacekeeping appropriation.
Everybody's happy.
LEO
Hardly anybody's happy. The President's going to study reinstating... We're for
peacekeeping in Kuhndu.
TOBY
And Mark's point is who keeps the...
LEO
I know what Mark's point is.
TOBY
People who got nowhere else to go...
LEO
For advancement, they go for advancement.
TOBY
The five guys on their way home right now... didn't advance very far, I think is
Mark's point.
LEO
It was a computer error, Toby.
TOBY
Yeah, I know.
LEO
Find out what "considering the amendment" has to look like in order for the Black
Caucus to stay onboard.
TOBY
I will. Thank you.
Toby walks away. Leo sits on a bench and continues to smoke his cigarette.
CUT TO: INT. AIR FORCE ONE, SENIOR STAFF CABIN - NIGHT
WILL
Decertifying Columbia triggers automatic economic or trade sanctions.
BARTLET
We lose some money.
WILL
Yes. Now, the State Department feels that the President's credibility with his own
legislature is based on his close ties with the U.S., and that would obviously be
significantly damaged.
BARTLET
Right, but at the moment, I'm more concerned with our credibility. He told me at the
Summit of the Americas that he'd work toward crop diversification. Did he mean opium
and coke?
WILL
And they also ask that I remind you that his opponent in the last election, Garcia
Larco, took campaign cash from the cartels, and if we weaken the President, we could
get a reactionary in the next election.
BARTLET
Yes, but he's not helping us, so why should I give him political cover? Listen, I'm
serious. What would happen if I don't recertify Columbia?
WILL
Well... actually, you can't.
BARTLET
I can't what?
WILL
Can't not recertify them. They're going to be automatically recertified.
BARTLET
Why? [thinks] Because the deadline was midnight...
BARTLET AND WILL
And it has to be delivered...
WILL
Yes.
BARTLET
The actual signed paper?
WILL
That's what the Counsel's Office...
BARTLET
This is really how the world works.
WILL
Well, it's how recertification works, I'm afraid, sir, so...
BARTLET
I want this plane to land!
Will looks out the window then back at Bartlet.
WILL
Did it work?
Bartlet laughs.
BARTLET
All right, thanks.
WILL
Thank you, Mr. President.
CUT TO: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE MESS - NIGHT
The mess is empty except for Leo. He's sitting at a table when Josh enters.
JOSH
You wanted to see me?
LEO
The Chesapeake cleanup isn't going to happen.
JOSH
At all.
LEO
It's not going to come out of Committee.
JOSH
'Cause of the revenue enhancements?
LEO
I think a little of everything.
JOSH
What happened?
LEO
Well, look, they weren't wild about it in the first place.
JOSH
What happened?
LEO
Deaver didn't like that Landis was working so closely with you.
JOSH
Did those two idiots let the Republicans on the Committee know? They were already
pissed at him.
LEO
He's vulnerable, and they want his seat. We take back the House, there's any number,
um... Mileage standards, reauthrize CWA-- any number of things we can do to help the
environment more.
JOSH
Is the President supposed to open a pizzeria while the Republicans control Congress?
LEO
We got the peacekeeping appropriation next week. I don't want to get in to it over
$18 million for Chesapeake Bay.
JOSH
We're going to lose an ally in Landis.
LEO
Well, one way or another, I think we're going to lose Landis.
JOSH
And they say the two parties can't get together on anything.
Josh starts to walk out of the mess.
LEO
The pizzeria thing was funny.
JOSH
Thank you.
Josh exits to the BASEMENT HALLWAY, where he meets Donna. They walk back upstairs.
DONNA
I was just coming down to see you.
JOSH
I just needed Leo for a second.
DONNA
Angel undergoes maintenance every day, whether the plane's going to be flying or not.
Every 154 days, the plane's completely taken apart and put back together again. 24
hours before wheels-up, fuel is sealed in a tank truck and guarded by sharpshooters.
One hour before wheels-up, Air Force specialist drain off a gallon and analyze it for
purity and the right levels of octane and water. The wiring-- and this is going to be
an area-- is shielded to protect it from a thermonuclear blast. If you want to sabotage
it, you have to get by 48 armed members of the Air Lift Security Unit or join the
maintenance crew, whick takes 12 months after a two-year background check.
JOSH
The guys you're talking to-- what do they think happened?
DONNA
They think a light didn't work.
JOSH
Why?
DONNA
I asked them the same thing.
JOSH
What'd they say?
DONNA
That sometimes lights don't work.
JOSH
Okay.
Donna walks away and Josh enters THE ROOSEVELT ROOM. Landis and the staff are still
going over the Chesapeake Cleanup Bill.
LANDIS
Hey, Air Force One going to land?
JOSH
Pretty soon.
LANDIS
Can I just ask, out of curiosity, at what point was Hoynes alerted?
JOSH
As soon as Andrews waved off the plane. Would you guys mind? Could you give us the
room for a second?
The staffers leave.
LANDIS
What? The Democrats want a tax on clams?
JOSH
It's not the Democrats this time, it's the Republicans. It's not going to happen.
LANDIS
What do you mean?
JOSH
It's not going to get out of Committee. The White House is going to have to pull its
support, but there's room in the EPA budget, room in the interior budget.
LANDIS
Room for everything but my name?
JOSH
Yeah.
LANDIS
You guys are really going to go after the seat next time, huh?
JOSH
So are the Republicans, Tom. You're probably going to have a primary challenge.
LANDIS
You know, if you keep squeezing out the liberal Republican and the conservative
Democrats...
JOSH
That's who's beatable.
LANDIS
If I'm running scared, I run to the right. That's where the money is.
JOSH
This is something that was never in my lap the right way.
LANDIS
You know, a friend of mine's a comedian, and he was doing a standup here in town.
A bunch of people from the German consulate came down to see him, and they came
backstage afterwards, and they said to him, "How come we don't have anyone as funny
as you back home?" And my friend said, "Because you killed them all."
JOSH
Well, tht's a bit of an overstatement... isn't it?
LANDIS
Maybe.
JOSH
Thanks for the work.
LANDIS
You should really come to Chesapeake Bay. It's incredibly beautiful.
JOSH
I will.
Josh exits the room.
CUT TO: INT. MARK RICHARDSON'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Mark Richardson is hanging up the phone when Toby enters.
TOBY
He said I should come in.
RICHARDSON
Yeah.
TOBY
"The President does not think we shoud reinstate the draft nor does he intend to do so,
but he respects Chairman Richardson as a leader in the Congress, and he's eager to hear
what he has to say and to engage in thorough debate."
RICHARDSON
What's that?
TOBY
What C.J. will say tomorrow from the podium in exchange for votes of the Black Caucus
on peacekeeping in Kuhndu.
RICHARDSON
It's not going to screw you too much?
TOBY
No, it'll screw us the regular amount.
RICHARDSON
This isn't new. The Union Army had a draft that you could buy yourself out for, for $300.
TOBY
Actually, the money ended up coming in handier than the soldiers.
RICHARDSON
Yeah, but I don't think that was my point. If you have money, you have a greater life
expectancy across the board. You're going to have better health care, better shelter,
better lawyers, and if you've got whatever equivalent of today's $300 is, you get to be
united behind the war effort without actually fighting the war. And you're one of my
constituents, too, Toby, so I shouldn't have to tell you that.
TOBY
You don't, Congressman. I was just on the job tonight.
RICHARDSON
Hmm. What was your lottery number?
TOBY
125. It was the last six months of the draft. It went up to 90 that year... but I
didn't have the 300 bucks.
RICHARDSON
Hmm. I'm going to call Sergeant Dokes' family now.
TOBY
I'd like to stay if you don't mind.
RICHARDSON
No, but stay standing.
TOBY
Yeah.
Richardson picks up the phone and begins to dial.
CUT TO: INT. AIR FORCE ONE, HALLWAY - NIGHT
C.J. is standing up the against the wall swaying. Ed and Larry walk up to her.
C.J.
Are we near the tower?
LARRY
Gear's down.
C.J.
What?
LARRY
They got the indicator light.
ED
They recycled the gear, and the light went on this time. We're landing.
C.J. grabs Ed and kisses him on the lips then walks away.
LARRY
I was the one who said it first.
CUT TO: INT. PRESS CABIN - CONTINUOUS
C.J., who's on the phone, yanks open the curtains to the press cabin.
C.J.
Signal, this is C.J. Cregg. Please turn the phones back on in the press cabin.
The reporters all start to cheer and applaud.
C.J.
We're landing. We got an indicator light. You should feel free to file. Thank you all
very much.
C.J. stand at the doorway looking solemn. She's about to say something when Steve speaks.
STEVE
Thank you, C.J.
MARK
Thank you, C.J.
KATIE
C.J., thank you.
REPORTERS
Thank you.
C.J.
Thank you.
C.J. exits and walks over to her seat in the STAFF CABIN.
C.J.
Oh.
She sits, and Will walks up to her.
C.J.
You heard?
WILL
Yeah.
C.J.
Sit down.
Will sits.
C.J.
I was meaning to ask you. Why did you ask about the front wheel before? You asked the
Colonel if it was the front wheel.
WILL
Well, if you have the rear wheels, you can try a hard landing where you come down hard
on the back wheels in an effort whack the front into place.
C.J.
To whack it into place?
WILL
Yes.
C.J.
I'm so happy I didn't have that information.
WILL
If you hit it wrong, the plane breaks in half.
C.J.
It just suddenly worked?
WILL
The gear?
C.J.
Yeah.
WILL
Yeah.
C.J.
I'm not sure I'm good at living in a world where that kind of thing is possible.
WILL
But you are.
C.J.
I imagine myself destitute, I imagine myself unlucky in love. But I never imagine my
life would be in danger with really uncommon frequency. It feels a little bit good,
doesn't it?
WILL
No.
C.J.
Yes, it does.
WILL
I'll make jokes when this whole bullfight with gravity is over.
COLONEL WEISKOPF
[over PA system] Well, ladies and gentlemen, from the flight deck, this is Colonel
Weiskopf. From the hooting and hollering we can hear through our cockpit door, you've
no doubt heard that we have a clear indicator light on our landing gear, and we are
cleared for landing at Andrews Air Force Base. For those keeping score, our total
flight time will have been 22 hours and 13 minutes using three seperate flight crews
along the way. We will have traveled 10,700 air miles on our return trip, a significant
portion of it the over West Virginia and Tennessee. White House staff on the ground
informs us that while airborne on this flight, three seperate pieces of legislation
have been negotiated and initialed by the President. We've had an engagement, a
birthday, and the nation of Colombia was recertified as an ally in our war against
drugs. I hope you won't consider this time we've spent together a waste. And now I'm
being handed... Hang on just one moment... Yeah, ladies and gentlemen, The're going
to move us to runway three-niner. There's a strong wind shift under 10,000 feet, so
Andrews approach has asked us to abandon our descent, make a 30-degree right turn and
maintain our current altitude. I'm sure we'll be down in no time now.
As Colonel Weiskopf is speaking over the PA, the camera pans through the STAFF CABIN,
then into the PRESS CABIN and back out to where Bartlet is standing in the HALL. Upon
hearing the news that the plane isn't going to land, Bartlet storms in his office and
slams the door.
DISSOLVE TO: END TITLES.
FADE TO BLACK.
THE END
* * *
The West Wing and all its characters are a property of Aaron Sorkin, John Wells
Production, Warner Brothers Television and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended.
Episode 4.19 -- "Angel Maintenance"
Original Air Date: April 2, 2003, 9:00 PM EST
Transcibed by: ck1czar
June 12, 2003