THE WEST WING
"ELLIE"
TELEPLAY BY: AARON SORKIN
STORY BY: KEVIN FALLS & LAURA GLASSER
DIRECTED BY: MICHAEL ENGLER
TEASER
MODERATOR [VO]
Now we have some questions about drug use in general and marijuana in particular.
DR. MILLICENT GRIFFITH [VO]
Yeah?
FADE IN: INT. DR. GRIFFITH'S OFFICE - NIGHT
An online chat is in progress with the Surgeon General.
MODERATOR
JerseyGirl wants to know if marijuana can make you sterile.
DR. GRIFFITH
Is this JerseyGirl asking the question, or JerseyBoyfriend?
MODERATOR
Both.
WEDNESDAY NIGHT
DR. GRIFFITH
Okay. Well, there's no evidence so far that marijuana has a permanent effect on the male
or female reproductive systems. A few studies have suggested that heavy marijuana use may
have an effect on male testicular function, but that effect would be reversible. So, if
JerseyBoyfriend is concerned then he should mention it to his doctor.
MODERATOR
Pixelad wants to know if marijuana can cause cancer.
DR. GRIFFITH
No conclusive study to date has shown that it does. However... and this is a big
however... cellular, genetic and human studies all suggest that the smoke from pot
is a risk factor in acquiring respiratory disease. So, if Pixelad wants to be able
to walk up a flight of stairs without throwing up, he should put the bong back in
the closet behind the Allman Brothers albums where it belongs.
CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Donna is following the chat.
DONNA
Josh! [to herself] What the hell kind of name is Pixelad? [loudly] Josh!
JOSH
I'm done?
DONNA
Yeah.
JOSH
Efficiency, Donna.
DONNA
Yeah.
JOSH
Efficiency and professionalism, and we're out of here at nine o'clock on a Wednesday night.
DONNA
Doesn't hurt the President's in Tokyo.
JOSH
Yeah, well, there does seem to be a little less work to do when he's in a different
hemisphere, but nonetheless...
DONNA
Efficiency and professionalism.
JOSH
With a healthly dollop of leadership skills... the well-placed, well-worded memo.
Nobody goes off the reservation, everybody does their job. Turn off your computer.
Let's go.
DONNA
No, I'm going to stay and watch this. I think maybe you should too.
JOSH
What is it?
DONNA
The Surgeon General's doing an online chat.
JOSH
What's she talking about?
DONNA
Decriminalizing marijuana.
JOSH
See you tomorrow.
Josh exits. Pause. Josh comes back.
JOSH
What's she talking about?
DONNA
[reading] "Do you favor the decriminalization of marijuana?"
JOSH
[reading] "That's not for me to say. I can tell you that marijuana poses no greater
public health risk than nicotine or alcohol..."
DONNA
[reading] "...and doesn't share the same addictive properties of heroin and LSD."
JOSH
[reading] "Yet, bizarrely, to many of us in the health care profession, the law
categorizes it as a Schedule I narcotic while putting a government seal on a pack
of cigarettes."
DONNA
Yeah, somebody didn't get your memo.
SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES.
END TEASER
* * *
ACT ONE
FADE IN: EXT. THE WHITE HOUSE - NIGHT
JOSH [VO]
C.J.
CUT TO: INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
C.J.
Yeah.
JOSH
[walks in] I need you to take a look at this.
C.J.
What is it?
JOSH
It’s a transcript of an online chat Millicent Griffith just did, page 8.
Donna walks in.
DONNA
Toby’s headed to his office and Sam’s on the phone.
JOSH
I can’t talk to him right now.
DONNA
He says it’s important.
JOSH
I’m gonna be there in a minute. [Donna exits.]
C.J.
[reading] "The Allman brothers?
JOSH
It gets a lot worse. [paces with his hand on his forehead]
C.J.
"Marijuana poses no greater public health risk than nicotine or alcohol doesn’t show
the same addictive properties as bizzarely categorized as..." and I quit!
JOSH
Let’s go.
They walk out of her office.
C.J.
Is she kidding me with this?
JOSH
Nope.
C.J.
When did it happen?
JOSH
She finished five minutes ago. Talk me through the next twelve hours.
C.J.
These people got a story. I guarantee you they called AP already... Carol, get me the
wires!
CAROL
[passing by] Yeah.
C.J.
It’s too late for the Times and the Post, but LA and San Francisco will have it. It will
be above the fold, the Today show will lead with it, Russert’s gonna do a segment.
Josh spots Toby walking towards them.
JOSH
Toby!
TOBY
Guys, I’m in the Blue Ribbon meeting, I got labor yelling at me, I got a real situation
developing over there.
JOSH
Yeah, but there’s a bit of a situation developing here too.
TOBY
What’s going on?
JOSH
Read that.
C.J.
Page 8. [to Josh] Why didn’t you call me?
JOSH
While it was happening?
C.J.
Yes!
JOSH
So you cold do what?
TOBY
When did it happen?
JOSH
She finished about five or ten minutes ago.
TOBY
You saw it happen?
JOSH
Yeah.
TOBY
Why didn’t you get me?
JOSH
What were you going to do?
Sam approaches them. They’re all standing in the bullpen with large clocks showing world
time above their heads.
TOBY
End the interview!
JOSH
How?
TOBY
By ending it!
SAM
Listen, something’s happened.
C.J.
We know.
SAM
How do you know?
TOBY
Josh was watching in real time.
JOSH
I’m not gonna belay into the computer screen, Toby.
SAM
What are you talking about?
TOBY
The Surgeon General, what are you talking about?
SAM
Never mind. What did Griffith do?
TOBY
She reversed our position on marijuana.
JOSH
All right. First things first what time is it in Tokyo?
TOBY
They’re fourteen hours ahead.
JOSH
I thought it was thirteen.
TOBY
Eastern daylight.
JOSH
So it’s fourteen hours ahead.
TOBY
Yes.
JOSH
Are we sure it’s ahead, and not beind?
C.J.
Guys, there are clocks on the wall.
Everyone but Sam looks at the clocks.
JOSH
Okay, so it’s almost 11 o’clock in Tokyo.
C.J.
Yeah.
TOBY
Ginger!
GINGER [VO]
Yeah.
TOBY
Get Larry and Ed.
C.J.
And anybody else in my office.
TOBY
We’ll be in the Roosevelt Room.
They walk to the Roosevelt Room, Sam following behind reading the transcript.
JOSH
I’m sorry... 11 in the morning, 11 in the afternoon?
C.J.
It’s 11 A.M.
SAM
The Allman Brothers?
TOBY
Keep reading.
JOSH
So if it’s not a story until tomorrow morning then they’re not gonna have it until
tomorrow night. We bought it!
C.J.
We bought two days.
TOBY
How?
SAM
Plane ride.
JOSH
When does he leave?
C.J.
Seven P.M. Thursday.
JOSH
Tomorrow?
C.J.
Yes.
JOSH
Local time?
C.J.
Which local - theirs or ours?
TOBY
It will be 7 P.M. Thursday in Japan when he leaves.
JOSH
And he lands here when?
Everyone gives each other an annoyed look.
SAM
Okay, the flight is 13 hours long.
C.J.
[covers her face] This isn’t happening.
SAM
He’s going to travel Easward from Tokyo, leaving at seven pm, so when he crosses the
international dateline
TOBY
He will have traveled back in time to what?
SAM
Three A.M.
C.J.
Which puts him down in Washington at P.M. Thursday.
JOSH
He’s gonna land in Washington an hour before he took off?
SAM
Yeah.
JOSH
And that’s not a story that beats the Surgeon General?
Donna walks in.
DONNA
Toby, they’re calling for you over there.
TOBY
[getting up] I’m gonna go get yelled at some more. Josh, you need to get Leo.
JOSH
Call Tokyo.
DONNA
Yeah. [to C.J.] Carol’s got the wires.
C.J.
Thanks. [runs out]
JOSH
This clock should be in military time.
SAM
Yeah, ‘cause that’s less confusing.
JOSH
The man’s gone a hundred and fifty hours. How can it be Thursday the whole time?
SAM
Listen. Japan is nine hours ahead of Greenwich Mean Time...
JOSH
Don’t.
DONNA
[on the phone in the back] Sophie, this is Donna Moss. Could you locate the Chief of
Staff for me please?
JOSH
What were you talking about before?
SAM
I’ve just been told by someone I believe that a full-page ad had been taken out by the
Family Values Leadership Concil that is going to appear in 22 newspapers tomorrow.
It lists many prominent people and it congratulates them for denouncing the movie Prince
of New York.
JOSH
What’s the problem?
SAM
The President is one of the prominent people they congratulate.
JOSH
The President denounced the movie?
SAM
No!
JOSH
Then how can they run that ad?
SAM
I have no idea. But I don’t like who we’re being congratulated by.
DONNA
[hands Josh the handset] Josh.
JOSH
Yeah. [takes the phone] Yeah, Leo, we got a couple of problems here.
CUT TO: EXT. THE WHITE HOUSE - DAY
CUT TO: INT. SAM'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Sam sees a rubber ball hit his glass window. He walks over to Toby’s office, who
continues throwing the ball.
SAM
I’m here.
TOBY
Thanks.
SAM
We’re doing this again?
TOBY
[puts on a baseball cap] Yeah.
SAM
‘Cause I just got you off that little bellman’s thing.
TOBY
[takes the cap off] Here’s my problem.
Sam sits down.
TOBY
The AARP wants the President to put Seth Gillette on the Commission, so does the AFL-CO,
it’s important to them and for that reason I think it’s got to be important to us.
SAM
There’s another good reason.
TOBY
It neutralizes him.
SAM
He can’t attack the Commission if he’s on it.
TOBY
Which is why if we ask he’ll say no.
SAM
Maybe, maybe not.
TOBY
Yeah, but we can’t risk that. First of all, we need him on the Commission, or else labor
and seniors will be suspicious from the getgo; second, if he’s not going to be on the
Commission, it can’t be because he turned us down.
SAM
So either we get him on the Commission, or if we don’t, we make sure it’s because we
never asked him.
TOBY
Yeah.
GINGER
[walks in] Sam? He’s on the phone.
SAM
Thanks. [to Toby] Yeah, I don’t know the answer to that.
TOBY
Okay, well. Thanks for stopping by.
SAM
Yeah.
As Sam picks up the phone in his office, Toby throws the ball at him again. The ball
bounces off the glass but Sam doesn't so much as flinch.
SAM
Charlie!
CUT TO: INT. AIR FORCE ONE - NIGHT
Charlie is sitting in a chair with a book.
CHARLIE
Moshimoshi. Konichiwa, Sam. Ikaga dess ka.
SAM [VO]
Yeah, listen, did you have a phone conversation with a movie producer named Morgan Ross?
CHARLIE
Yeah, last week.
SAM
Can you tell me about that conversation?
CHARLIE
He’s got a movie coming out.
SAM
"Prince of New York."
CHARLIE
Yeah, they wanted to screen it at the White House.
SAM
What did you say?
CHARLIE [VO]
Well, they sent me the print the week before and I looked at it.
SAM
And you passed?
CHARLIE
Yeah.
SAM
Charlie, was the President involved in that decision at all?
CHARLIE [VO]
No, he lets me choose the movies. I just didn’t think he’d like it so I got him
"Dial M for murder" instead. Sam?
SAM
Okay.
CHARLIE
Domo arigato. [hangs up]
SAM
Yeah.
CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S OFFICE - DAY
Josh is on the phone. C.J. is gesturing at him at the door.
JOSH
Well, there’d be fallout from women voters and, I’m pretty sure, the AMA, to say nothing
of the First Lady.
C.J.
Leo?
JOSH
[covers the handset] I had about nine people on the conference call at several points
of longitude. When’s your first briefing?
C.J.
An hour.
JOSH
Can you show support for the Surgeon General without supporting her policy?
C.J.
Yeah.
JOSH
Show me.
C.J.
Try me.
JOSH
[in a mock-reporter voice] C.J., did you know that Dr Griffith was going to criticize
the administration’s drug policy last night?
C.J.
I don’t agree with your categorization of the comments; I think she expressed her opinion
about the health effects of certain illegal drugs.
JOSH
Well, she basically called for legalization of marijuana. Does the President agree with it?
C.J.
Wrong again, and I will refer you to the Surgeon General’s comments. When asked if
marijuana should be legalized, she said and I’m quoting, "It’s not for me to say."
And she’s right, and it’s important that people understand this the Surgeon General’s
not a law-maker, she doesn’t set drug policy, the President does, and the President is
100% against legalizing drugs including marijuana.
JOSH
Yeah. [into the phone] Leo, I can take it to the next step. Okay. Okay.
[hangs up and stands]
C.J.
Leo wants me to show her support.
JOSH
Yeah.
C.J.
Josh?
JOSH
Yeah.
C.J.
While I’m showing her support, what are you showing her?
JOSH
The door.
He puts on his coat and leaves.
FADE OUT.
END ACT ONE
* * *
ACT TWO
FADE IN: EXT. THE WHITE HOUSE - DAY
C.J. [VO]
Good morning.
REPORTERS [VO]
C.J.! C.J.!
C.J. [VO]
Hang on. Katie.
KATIE [VO]
Did you know the Surgeon General was going to criticize...
CUT TO: INT. WAITING ROOM OUTSIDE SURGEON GENERAL'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Josh is sitting on a couch, watching C.J.'s briefing on television.
KATIE [on TV]
...the administration's drug policy last night?
C.J. [on TV]
Well, first of all, I disagree with your characterization of her comments. She expressed
her opinion about the health affects of certain illegal drugs. Jeff.
Josh gets off the couch and moves to stand in front of the T.V.
JEFF [on TV]
C.J....
KATIE [on TV]
I'm sorry, but didn't she say that...
C.J. [on TV]
Actually, what she did say, and I quote, is that there has been no conclusive...
C.J.'s briefing continues on the television as the door to the Surgeon General's office
opens. A man and woman exit. The Surgeon General appears in the doorway.
DR. GRIFFITH
Josh?
JOSH
Dr. Griffith.
DR. GRIFFITH
You wanna come in?
JOSH
Yeah.
They go inside the SURGEON GENERAL'S OFFICE.
DR. GRIFFITH
How've you been feeling?
JOSH
Well, I've been fine.
DR. GRIFFITH
They're checking your blood pressure once a week?
JOSH
Yeah, 130 over 87.
DR. GRIFFITH
Hmmm. It's a little high. Uh, what about the right leg and arm?
JOSH
There's a little stiffness.
DR. GRIFFITH
Yeah. You know, the guys at GW did a fantastic job. It's a beautiful scar.
JOSH
[surprised] When did you see my scar?
DR. GRIFFITH
At the hospital.
JOSH
I don't remember.
DR. GRIFFITH
You were unconscious. How 'bout your back?
JOSH
There's some pain.
DR. GRIFFITH
It's in your head.
JOSH
[laughs] Along with all manner of things.
DR. GRIFFITH
Well, you know, Josh, just because the White Supremacists didn't kill you, doesn't mean
that that crap you eat isn't gonna.
JOSH
I eat fine.
DR. GRIFFITH
You eat like you're still in college.
JOSH
I was in great shape in college.
DR. GRIFFITH
You were nineteen in college. You could eat Tupperware and your system would deal with it.
JOSH
Millicent, what were you thinking about?
Dr. Griffith pauses behind her desk, her back to Josh, before turning around to
answer him.
DR. GRIFFITH
I was asked a question, Josh.
JOSH
I understand, but your answers...
DR. GRIFFITH
My answers were correct; is anyone challenging me on the facts?
JOSH
Not yet.
DR. GRIFFITH
Well, they won't. As a doctor, I have an obligation to tell the truth. Come to think
of it, as a person I have that obligation as well.
Dr. Griffith sits down in her desk chair and Josh takes a seat in a chair in front of
her desk.
JOSH
The truth is different if you're a GP or a member of the Stanford Faculty Club than if
you’re the country's chief medical practitioner.
DR. GRIFFITH
Well, no, I think truth is pretty much truth across the board, never more so than if
you're the country's chief medical practitioner.
JOSH
Did you know that 69% of Americans oppose legalization? Only 23% support it.
DR. GRIFFITH
The number gets a lot higher than that if you ask people under 30.
JOSH
Well, that's a shock. Did you know that the number gets even higher than that if you
limit the polling sample to Bob Marley and the Whalers?
DR. GRIFFITH
I mentioned that particular age group because an awful lot of them seem to be in prison.
JOSH
Is that what this is about?
DR. GRIFFITH
No!
JOSH
Because the criminal justice system is nowhere near your jurisdiction...
DR. GRIFFITH
I wasn't commenting on the criminal justice system...
JOSH
Millicent!
DR. GRIFFITH
I wasn't commenting on the criminal justice system!
Josh stands up and starts pacing.
JOSH
[quoting Dr. Griffith] "Yet bizarrely the law categorizes it as a schedule one narcotic?!"
DR. GRIFFITH
I was commenting on medicine.
JOSH
I've had three conversations with Leo McGarry in the last 12 hours. The reason I've
come here...
DR. GRIFFITH
Josh, I'm not a politician, but it's not like I haven't lived here for two years.
JOSH
C.J.'s up there right now giving you our support. I'm sorry, but we need you to resign.
DR. GRIFFITH
[pause] No.
JOSH
Dr. Griffith, I say this with all possible respect, but... you serve at the pleasure of
the President.
DR. GRIFFITH
[standing up] And I'll continue to, right up until the moment he fires me.
Josh looks at her for a moment before nodding.
JOSH
Okay. [beat] Thank you, ma'am.
He moves towards the door to exit her office, but she stops him.
DR. GRIFFITH
Josh. See the doctor, get a lollipop.
She tosses a lollipop to him from her desk. Josh catches it and looks at her for a
moment longer before opening the door. As he exits the office back into the waiting room,
C.J.'s briefing is again heard from the TV.
C.J. [VO]
And the fact that the President disagrees with her doesn't mean he's going to fire her.
The Surgeon General is an executive appointee and the President stands by his staff.
JOSH
[under his breath] Excellent.
Josh pulls on his coat and leaves as the camera remains on the television.
REPORTER [on TV]
C.J., shifting gears for a second. There's a full page ad that appears in today's Times...
CUT TO: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE, BRIEFING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
REPORTER [cont]
... in fact I've been told it might have appeared in as many as 22 papers this morning.
The ad was taken out by the Family Values Leadership Council, and praises, among others,
the President, for denouncing a movie that's opening next week, called Prince of New York.
C.J.
Yes.
REPORTER 1
You know anything about it?
C.J.
No, I don't know what the hell's going on there.
REPORTER 2
C.J., the President didn't denounce it?
C.J.
Not unless he did it in the shower. But he hasn't denounced it to me and he certainly
hasn't to the public. [The reporters chuckle.] That's all. See you this afternoon.
The reporters continue to call C.J.'s name as she leaves the podium. Carol approaches
and hands her some papers.
CAROL
Sam's here.
C.J.
Thank you.
CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS
Sam is waiting for C.J. As they talk, they move through the hallways.
SAM
Good job.
C.J.
Please tell me what's going on with this movie.
SAM
It's called Prince of New York.
C.J.
Right.
SAM
There's been some controversy about it.
C.J.
Sex and violence?
SAM
And religious imagery. Family and religious groups are organizing boycotts.
C.J.
Right.
SAM
The studio phone banks Charlie because they want a screening, and Charlie passes.
C.J.
Why?
SAM
Because he did. The producer goes on Imus and says Bartlet's a coward who's siding with
Puritanical censors and that Hollywood should know he's no friend of the First Amendment.
C.J.
And then the Family Values Leadership Council took out an ad congratulating us for that?
SAM
Yeah.
C.J.
Seriously, I quit.
SAM
Here's the thing.
C.J.
Wait.
SAM
We've got these people...
C.J.
Wait.
SAM
We've got the industry people...
C.J.
Prince of New York is Morgan Ross's movie.
SAM
Yes. But we've got these people...
C.J.
Morgan Ross went on Imus?
SAM
Well, he did it by phone...
C.J.
Morgan Ross called the President a coward?
SAM
He didn't call him a coward as much as...
C.J.
What?
SAM
He called him cowardly. Which is different.
C.J.
How's it different?
SAM
It's not, but still...
C.J.
I'm gonna crush him.
SAM
C.J..
C.J.
This guy's trying to get a little free media by screwing with us!
SAM
Look.
C.J.
I'm the enforcer, Sam. I'm gonna crush him, I'm gonna make him cry, and then I'm gonna
tell his momma about it!
C.J. pours herself some coffee with a grim smile on her face.
SAM
You're not going to make him cry.
C.J.
You wanna watch me make him cry? [chuckles evilly]
They reach C.J.'S OFFICE.
SAM
I believe that you can make him cry, I'm saying you're not going to do it.
C.J.
Sam.
SAM
I'm trying to tell you we're meeting with these people tomorrow. I'll straighten things
out with Morgan Ross. Would you just keep telling the press that you don't know anything?
C.J.
[sighs] That shouldn't be a problem.
CAROL
C.J.?
SAM
[to C.J.] Thank you. [leaves]
CAROL
Danny Concannon's on the phone, and I think you should take it.
C.J.
Why?
CAROL
He wants the President's reaction to a comment that was made about the situation with
Millicent Griffith.
C.J.
Who made the comment?
CAROL
That's the thing.
C.J.
[makes a "hurry up" motion with her hands] Carol.
CAROL
It was Eleanor.
C.J.
Eleanor who?
CAROL
It was Eleanor Bartlet.
C.J. stares at her for a second before picking up the phone.
C.J.
[into phone] Hey, it's C.J.
CUT TO: INT. THE ROOSEVELT ROOM - DAY
Toby is in a meeting with several people about the Blue Ribbon Committee the President
proposed in the State of the Union.
FIRST MAN
Toby, it's not that we don't understand your position. But I'm telling you, the
commission will not be credible with our people unless there's someone on it who's
a friend of labor.
LENNY
And a friend of seniors.
TOBY
The President's a friend of labour, a friend of seniors, a friend of small animals...
LENNY
Toby!
TOBY
We're running out of time, Lenny. We announced this thing at the State of the Union;
we've got to get it going.
LENNY
The State of the Union's your problem. Nobody brought us in.
TOBY
Yes.
FIRST MAN
And I for one am not sure I see a need for emergency-like speed.
TOBY
Really.
FIRST MAN
If current economic conditions continue...
TOBY
Forever? You mean if we never have another recession ever again? Then the fund can
withstand all of 30 years before going bankrupt. Unfortunately, the actuarial tables
say I won't be dead yet. [sighs] Guys... Gillette's a tough needle to thread. I want
to know that we have your trust, that whoever we do get will look out for your interests
and that you therefore will support the Commission.
Beat, as no one responds, and Toby sighs again.
TOBY
[cont] Can I assume from your total silence and blank faces that you're all with me?
FIRST MAN
Maybe if we, uh, talk some more.
TOBY
[sarcastically] Oh, could we?
CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA - DAY
JOSH
C.J..
C.J.
Josh.
JOSH
Listen...
C.J.
She didn't?
JOSH
No. Leo's gonna need to talk to her. In the meantime, you should start to walk back some
of what you said in the press room, all right?
C.J.
There's something stickier than the support I gave her in the press room.
JOSH
What?
C.J.
Danny Concannon's quoting Eleanor Bartlet. She said, "My father won't fire the Surgeon
General. He would never do that."
JOSH
Eleanor?
C.J.
Yeah.
JOSH
You mean Zoey.
C.J.
No. It was Eleanor.
Josh looks both surprised and exasperated, and lets out a big sigh.
CUT TO: EXT. ANDREWS AIR FORCE BASE - NIGHT
Bartlet and Charlie are exiting Air Force One, discussing the situation in Japan.
Leo, a limo, numerous police cars, and a crowd of reporters are there to greet them.
BARTLET
They're trying to export their way out of their own economic problems.
CHARLIE
Yes, sir.
BARTLET
And by dumping low priced steel on the U.S., you know what they're asking for?
CHARLIE
A protectionist response.
BARTLET
They're begging for a protectionist response. Steel and mining employ a hundred and
seventy thousand workers. They're not going to sit around while discount steel comes
flying into... how you doing? [waves to someone calling "Welcome back, sir!"]
They're going to want retaliatory tariffs, and you know what that means?
CHARLIE
A return to Smoot-Hawley and the Great Depression.
BARTLET
A return to Smoot-Hawley and the Great Depression.
CHARLIE
Well, you should go to Japan and tell them that, sir.
They start to head towards the reporters, but Leo comes up behind them.
LEO
Charlie!
CHARLIE
[stopping Bartlet] Sir.
BARTLET
Leo, I'm walking over to the press and telling them that retaliatory tariffs are gonna
cost American taxpayers eight hundred thousand dollars for every job saved.
LEO
We're not taking questions. Let's get in the car.
They move towards the limo, as reporters faintly call after them.
BARTLET
What's going on?
LEO
Eleanor made a comment on the record and you can't answer questions right now.
BARTLET
Eleanor?
LEO
Yeah.
BARTLET
You mean Zoey.
LEO
It was Eleanor.
BARTLET
When did this happen?
LEO
About six hours ago.
BARTLET
Why didn't you tell me six hours ago?
LEO
[quietly] Because I didn't want you crash-landing the plane. Let's get in the car.
Nancy holds open the limo door for Bartlet.
NANCY
Welcome back, Mr. President.
Bartlet doesn't answer, just gives a wave to the reporters and climbs into the car.
The door is closed behind him.
FADE OUT.
END ACT TWO
* * *
ACT THREE
FADE IN: INT. JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA - DAY
DONNA
Josh, is there anything to suggest that there are a significant number of people who
are inclined to smoke pot but don't because it's against the law?
JOSH
No.
DONNA
Then why do you think if it were decriminalized there would be a sudden stampede of
people showing up to work stoned, dragging down the economy and clearing supermarket
aisles of Pringles and Twinkies?
JOSH
That's not a reason to make it legal.
DONNA
In a free society, you don't need a reason to make something legal... you need a reason
to make something illegal.
JOSH
Donna, parents are keeping kids away from drugs with a whip and a chair. It doesn't help
them out if we...
DONNA
[answers phone] Yes?
JOSH
No, that's Okay, it's just me, talking...
DONNA
[hangs up] President's back.
JOSH
Does he want to see me?
DONNA
Yeah?
Josh exits.
CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - DAY
C.J.
Welcome back, Mr. President.
BARTLET
[angry] Thank you. I've had it, C.J. I've absolutely had it!
C.J.
Sir...
BARTLET
What the hell is Danny Concannon doing calling to my kid?
C.J.
Mr. President...
BARTLET
He knows better than that! They all know better than that! But Danny...
C.J.
Sir, he didn't...
BARTLET
C.J., you're going to suspend his credentials for six months, and I don't give a damn.
His paper wants to cover the President, they can send someone else.
C.J.
Mr. President, Danny didn't call her.
BARTLET
I was told it was Danny.
C.J.
Yes, sir. She called him.
BARTLET
[pause] She called him?
Bartlet sits down at his desk. Josh enters.
JOSH
Good evening, welcome back Mr. President.
BARTLET
The Allman Brothers, Josh?
JOSH
How was the flight, sir?
BARTLET
Tokyo is willing to show economic restraint, in exchange for a good fielding shortstop
and a left-handed reliever... Who's against us so far?
JOSH
The Judiciary Committee, Government Reform and Oversight, Appropriations...
BARTLET
Appropriations?
JOSH
They control the Surgeon General's budget.
BARTLET
Who's coming to her defense?
JOSH
The Cannabis Society, The Cannabis Coalition, E Cannabis Unum, The American Hemp League,
and Friends of Mary Jane.
CHARLIE
Sir?
BARTLET
Yeah?
CHARLIE
Sam's waiting to see you.
BARTLET
Yes, I understand I've been congratulated for denouncing a movie I've never heard of.
C.J.
Yes sir.
BARTLET
I've got to hand it to you guys you've pulled off a political first. You've managed to win
me the support of the Christian Right and the Cheech and Chong Fan Club in the same day.
JOSH
Leo's seeing her tomorrow.
BARTLET
Anything else?
JOSH
No sir.
BARTLET
Thank you.
C.J.
Thank you, Mr. President.
JOSH
Thank you, Mr. President.
C.J. and Josh exit.
BARTLET
Charlie? Would you arrange for my middle daughter to come see me at her earliest possible
convenience?
CHARLIE
Yes sir.
BARTLET
Ah, screw her convenience. Get her ass down here.
Charlie exits.
CUT TO: EXT. THE WHITE HOUSE - DAY
FRIDAY
CUT TO: INT. SAM'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Sam is at his desk typing. Toby bounces a ball off his window. Sam comes to TOBY'S OFFICE.
SAM
Yeah?
TOBY
What's this note?
SAM
That note?
TOBY
Yeah.
SAM
It says that we should stand by the Surgeon General.
TOBY
Actually, it says that we should stand by the Sturgeon General.
SAM
Does it?
TOBY
Yeah.
SAM
I meant Surgeon General.
TOBY
Well, I think we should stand by her too. I just wanted to make sure we were agreed that
smoked white fish was pretty much on its own.
SAM
Yeah.
GINGER
Toby?
TOBY
She's here?
GINGER
In the lobby.
We follow Toby and Sam out of Toby's office.
TOBY
You're with the ratings people?
SAM
Soon. What's the food for?
TOBY
Today's attempt at ensuring out future.
SAM
What's your plan?
TOBY
The first thing I have to do is be nice to a liberal Democratic Congresswoman.
SAM
Will that be hard?
TOBY
Well, it was when I was married to her.
They reach Congresswoman Andrea Wyatt in the LOBBY.
TOBY
Good to see you. Thanks for coming. You look fantastic.
ANDY
Thank you. How've you been, Sam?
TOBY
Sam's great.
SAM
Fit as a fiddle, Andy. Although, to tell you the truth, I found...
TOBY
Nobody cares.
SAM
Yeah. [exits]
TOBY
Hi.
Andy kisses Toby on the cheek.
ANDY
How're you doing?
TOBY
Congresswoman Wyatt.
ANDY
Yes, indeed.
Toby and Andy walk back to his office.
TOBY
You're growing into that title very nicely.
ANDY
This is going someplace hysterical.
TOBY
Heh. Yeah. Labor wants Gillette on the Commission.
ANDY
Yes.
TOBY
So does the AARP.
ANDY
Yes.
TOBY
It's very important to them.
ANDY
Yes.
TOBY
Do you know why?
ANDY
'Cause they've been very suspicious of the Commission since you announced it, and want
one of their people protecting their interests?
They reach TOBY'S OFFICE.
TOBY
We're one of their people.
ANDY
Have you had an easy time convincing them of that since you announced the Commission?
TOBY
No. But I bring you here, and we sit, and we have coffee, and we have Danish, in the hope
that calmer and, dare I say, prettier heads prevail.
ANDY
Oh, I miss patronizing, sexist Toby.
TOBY
I was referring to myself.
ANDY
You don't want to ask Gillette?
TOBY
Nope.
ANDY
'Cause you think he might say no.
TOBY
Right. This is really important, Andy. Can you help us?
ANDY
No.
GINGER
Toby?
TOBY
Close the door.
Andy picks up a Danish.
TOBY
Put the Danish down.
CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - DAY
Mrs. Landingham and Charlie are shuttling binders.
MRS. LANDYNGHAM
"Dial M."
CHARLIE
Yeah.
MRS. LANDYNGHAM
A fine film.
CHARLIE
I know it well.
MRS. LANDYNGHAM
Ray Milland, Grace Kelly, Robert Cummings...
CHARLIE
He likes the part where the guy looks for the key.
MRS. LANDYNGHAM
And what was the other one about?
CHARLIE
"Prince of New York?"
MRS. LANDYNGHAM
Yeah.
CHARLIE
[reading off a sheet of paper] It's an updated version of Dostoyevsky's "The Idiot"
which tells the story of a Christ-like epileptic young man who embodies goodness, but
encounters sex, crime, and family dysfunction.
MRS. LANDYNGHAM
Hard to imagine why you didn't think the President would enjoy that, Charlie.
CHARLIE
Well he would have especially enjoyed the scene where the Prince Myshkin character has
a seizure while engaging in an erotic fantasy in a Long Island church.
MRS. LANDYNGHAM
Charlie, please don't say the word "erotic" in the Oval Office.
CHARLIE
I'd be perfectly happy never to say any of those words anywhere ever again.
MRS. LANDYNGHAM
John Williams as Chief Inspector Hubbard.
CHARLIE
Not to mention...
WOMAN [OS]
Excuse me.
Mrs. Landingham and Charlie stop, turn and see ELEANOR BARTLET.
MRS. LANDYNGHAM
Ellie!
ELLIE BARTLET
I was told my father wanted to see me?
Mrs. Landingham nods and exits.
MARGARET [VO]
Let me ask you this...
CUT TO: LEO'S OUTER OFFICE - DAY
Margaret and Dr. Griffith are talking.
MARGARET
Red meat has been found to cause cancer in white rats. Maraschino cherries have been
found to cause cancer in white rats. Cellular phones have been found to cause cancer
in white rats. Has anyone examined the possibility that cancer might be hereditary in
white rats?
DR. GRIFFITH
Let me tell you something, I'm not 100% sure we've ruled that out.
Leo walks through to his office.
LEO
Dr. Griffith.
DR. GRIFFITH
[to Margaret] I'm on.
Dr. Griffith enters LEO'S OFFICE. Leo closes the door.
LEO
Congratulations, Millie. You're now the pamphlet girl for every right fundraising cause.
That interview's got to be worth at least twenty, thirty million bucks in contributions
from people who think you're going to distribute dime bags of Hawaiian sens at junior
high schools along with condoms and fornication manuals.
DR. GRIFFITH
Can I say, I was never given a fornication manual, so...
LEO
You think this is funny?
DR. GRIFFITH
I think that we're spending a billion dollars a year keeping more than forty thousand
people locked up.
LEO
That's not your...
DR. GRIFFITH
I know that's not my jurisdiction, which is why I never commented on decriminalization.
LEO
Six different committee chairs... three in the House, three in the Senate... are all
talking about hearings.
DR. GRIFFITH
What are they going to find?
LEO
They don't need to find anything. They just need to say your name and "drugs" as many
times as possible on television. I don't think you said anything wrong. Nobody with a
brain thinks you did anything wrong. And I'd like to do the right thing all the time,
but I can't. I can't let us get bogged down in this crap. Government will stop, this
will be what we do for two months, and there are more important things than that. I'll
take the heat from the First Lady, but I want your resignation by eight o'clock tonight
or the President's gonna fire you. I've got a meeting. [exits]
CUT TO: INT. OUTER OVAL OFFICE - DAY
Charlie is at his desk. Ellie sits nervously across from him.
CHARLIE
Zoey said you were thinking about oncology.
ELLIE
Excuse me?
CHARLIE
Zoey said you were thinking about oncology.
ELLIE
Yeah, or neurology.
CHARLIE
He's just tied up in this meeting down the hall.
ELLIE
I'm fine.
CHARLIE
They said he should be back any minute.
ELLIE
I'm... good. Yeah.
CHARLIE
You like medical school?
ELLIE
I do. I like my professors. I have a pathophysiology professor who teaches clinical
skills by...
AGENT
Eagle's moving.
We hear Bartlet storming up the hall.
BARTLET
...in consumer costs per job saved. Retaliatory tariffs on steel imports are a disaster.
Anyone wants to check my math, they're more than welcome to.
Bartlet enters with advisors.
BARTLET
Anybody wants to shove the Golden Gate Bridge up Japan's ass, they're more than welcome
to do that too.
CHARLIE
Mr. President? [motions to Ellie]
BARTLET
Oh... [turns to advisors] Thank you.
The advisors exit.
BARTLET
Ellie, thanks for coming.
ELLIE
Hi, dad.
Bartlet kisses her on the cheek.
BARTLET
Come on in.
CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Bartlet and Ellie walk inside.
BARTLET
Did you get down here Okay?
ELLIE
Yeah.
BARTLET
Did you take an airplane?
ELLIE
An airplane? No.
BARTLET
A helicopter?
ELLIE
No, the agents drove me.
BARTLET
That's because you go to school at Johns Hopkins, right?
ELLIE
Dad...
BARTLET
And Johns Hopkins is in Baltimore. I'm asking 'cause Baltimore is a 45-minute car ride
from Washington, D.C. and we hardly see you anymore. So, I thought either you transfered
to a different medical school, they moved Johns Hopkins, or they moved Baltimore.
Are any of those things true?
ELLIE
No.
BARTLET
Okay. And this is accurate, right? This quote "My father won't fire the Surgeon General.
He would never do that."
ELLIE
Yes.
BARTLET
Elanor, when you put your head down, your hair falls in your face, and I can't see your
face, and I can't hear what you're saying. Now look at me, and talk to me.
ELLIE
Yes, the quote is accurate.
BARTLET
What the hell are you doing talking to a reporter?
ELLIE
I...
BARTLET
[getting angry] I have set up monumental, unprecedented, unbreakable rules about my
children and the press. I have gotten White House reporters transferred to Yemen for
approaching Zoey and Elizabeth. It is the law! [walks away to calm down] Well, I'm sure
before you gave the quote you cleared it with the Communications Office. I'm sure you
went over the exact wording with C.J. Cregg and coordinated with White House strategy
so that the timing was right in the news cycle. I'm certain you consulted the appropriate
party leadership because you're a pretty knowledgeable operative having spent so much
time with me. Ellie?
ELLIE
Dad...
BARTLET
What?
ELLIE
She was... she was...
BARTLET
WHAT?
ELLIE
She was doing...
BARTLET
Pick your head up!
ELLIE
She was doing exactly what she is supposed to do! She... I'm sorry. She was asked a
question, and she said what she knew to be true. And when you start firing doctors for
that, you've crossed the line somewhere.
BARTLET
There is politics involved in this, Ellie. And you knew it would make me unhappy and
that's why you did it and that's cheap.
ELLIE
I didn't do it to make you unhappy, Dad.
BARTLET
Well, you sure didn't do it to make me happy!
ELLIE
I don't know HOW to make you happy, Dad! For that, you've got to talk to Zoey or Liz.
Silence ensues.
BARTLET
Okay, let's drop it.
Bartlet walks back behind his desk.
BARTLET
Mom gets back first thing in the morning and we're running a movie tonight if you want
to stay over.
ELLIE
I can stay over if you want me to.
BARTLET
Yeah, thanks.
Bartlet shuffles some papers. Ellie takes her purse, turns to leave, then looks around
nervously.
ELLIE
I go out...?
BARTLET
That door over there. [points]
Ellie exits. Charlie enters from another door.
CHARLIE
Mr. President?
BARTLET
Yeah.
CHARLIE
The Labor Secretary.
BARTLET
Send him in. [beat] Charlie... Give me just a minute, would you?
CHARLIE
Yes sir.
Charlie exits. Bartlet turns and looks out the window, thinking.
FADE OUT.
END ACT THREE
* * *
ACT FOUR
FADE IN: INT. TOBY'S OFFICE - DAY
Andy and Toby are yelling almost at the top of their voices.
ANDY
Hang on.
TOBY
Look.
ANDY
Hang on!
TOBY
No, I will not hang on.
ANDY
Yes, you will, you will summon your strength and you will listen to me for a moment.
[beat] You guys made a hairpin turn at the State of the Union and you did it without
consulting a whole lot of members of the liberal wing of the Democratic Party.
TOBY
Sad to say, Andrea, there aren’t a whole lot of members of the liberal wing of the
Democratic Party. [shoots the ball off the wall]
ANDY
So you‘ll forgive some people if they’re concerned that one of the options you’re
going to explore is raising the retirement age.
TOBY
Hey, Andy, people are living decades longer than anyone at this rate in 1935!
ANDY
So you are considering it!
TOBY
We want to consider everything, but we can’t consider anything, unless...
ANDY
Why does this have to happen in secret?
TOBY
Because it’s the only way it’s gonna happen! Because you can’t solve Social Security and
ask people to run for election at the same time! So why not give politicians some cloud
cover and let them be lawmakers for a while? Fifteen people in a room with the door
closed; seven democrats, seven republicans, and the President of the United States, who
will not have a vote, and they walk out of that room, and with one voice they make a
recommendation to Congress and the American people! And nobody knows who was where!
[sighs] The only way this is going to happen is in secret. And they only way it’s going
to happen is if all the sides are confident in their representation. Otherwise it’s dead,
and so I need Seth Gillette on the commission, but I can’t ask him, ‘cause if he says no,
there’ll be no commission! [beat] Anyway... I appreciate you coming down and talking to
me. [heads to open the door for her]
They both walk out of his office.
ANDY
I like when you ask for my help, Toby.
TOBY
Listen, I read in the paper that I’m on the benefit committee for the Child Leukemia
Foundation.
ANDY
[putting her coat on, smiling] Yeah, I saw that, too.
TOBY
Why do you suppose the paper wrote that?
ANDY
I don’t know. I guess they must have gotten it from that press release of something.
TOBY
I guess they must have. You don’t think it’d be a better idea if you asked me first?
ANDY
I really didn’t.
TOBY
Interesting.
ANDY
I find that when I skip over the first step and move right to the second step, it becomes
a lot harder for people to say no.
Toby stops suddenly.
ANDY
Listen, you’ll have fun, you’ll look nice in your tuxedo, you don’t have to stay,
you don’t have... [turns to him] Toby?
TOBY
Skip over the first step and move right to the second.
C.J.
[walking from behind Andy] Toby... Hey, Andy!
ANDY
Hey, C.J..
C.J.
[to Toby] Toby, when you have a minute, can you stop by the office, I need...
Toby is staring past her at Andy.
C.J.
What?
TOBY
C.J., tomorrow morning I want you to announce that Seth Gillette’s joined the Blue Ribbon
Commission on Social Security.
C.J.
Toby...
TOBY
Make sure the press knows the Senator put the Democratic Party above personal differences,
and that he put people above all. Make sure they know that he’s a patriot, and when the
President asked him to serve, Senator Gillette answered the call.
C.J.
Did he?
TOBY
Yeah. I just saw it at your press briefing tomorrow morning.
C.J.
Okay, but this is really the last thing I’m doing before I quit.
TOBY
[as she walks away] Okay.
Andy smiles approvingly.
CUT TO: INT. THE ROOSEVELT ROOM - DAY
Ed is meeting with Hollywood representatives.
ED
It’s like checking the sugar and fat content on a box of cereal.
PRODUCER 1
We bend over backwards to help parents make choices.
PRODUCER 2
We put V-chips in TVs, warning labels on records, TV shows, film ads...
Sam walks in and stands by the door. He whispers to the secretary and she comes to
Morgan Ross and talks to him quietly.
PRODUCER 1
And when we do, we suffer, because our products become demonized and marginalized, and
every ten years the Government asks for something more.
Ross steps outside.
ED
The only reason we have to come to you every ten years is that the situation isn’t
getting any better.
PRODUCER 1
When’s the government going to ask the NFL and the National Hockey League to put warning
labels on their games?
CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS
SAM
Can I talk to you?
MORGAN ROSS
Sure.
SAM
Come on.
Sam starts walking to his office. Ross follows.
ROSS
He’s wrong in there, by the way, the situation hasn’t stayed the same, there’s been a
28% drop in juvenile crime in the last five years, 10% drop in the overall crime rate.
SAM
I don’t care.
ROSS
Why?
SAM
‘Cause, the American Academy of Pediatrics, the AMA and the American Psychological
association all say that watching violence on TV is bad for kids and we’re gonna listen
to the experts.
ROSS
I’ll remember that tomorrow morning when I read in the paper the Surgeon General’s been
fired.
SAM
Remember it whenever you’d like.
ROSS
What is he seeing tonight?
SAM
"Dial M for murder."
Ross
Good. Hitchcock never used sex or violence in his films.
SAM
Yeah. Morgan, the President’s never seen your movie, he’s never heard of your movie,
he has no particular objection to your movie, and you know it.
ROSS
The Family Values Leadership Council seems to see it differently.
SAM
Gloriosky, Morgan, the Family Values Leadership Council distorted the truth. Stop the
presses.
ROSS
Well, thanks to that ad, I’ve got exhibitors in Mississippi, Oklahoma and Alabama,
pulling the film!
SAM
I’ve read the press synopsis of the film, and if the exhibitors put you on every screen
of every multiplex in every mall you still wouldn’t do any business in Mississippi,
Oklahoma or Alabama.
ROSS
You’re an industry expert now.
SAM
No, but you are. Which explains a lot to me about Hollywood. And you know the ad was
going to get you more business than you lost and that’s why you went on Imus and said
what you did.
ROSS
I’m here for a Sam Seaborn scolding?
SAM
Yeah. Because it makes me crazy, Morgan, this is exactly the kind of thing that should
be celebrated by First Amendment advocates. Charlie was offered a choice and he made one.
Why aren’t you standing up, saying, "See, it works! You don’t need to ban movies like
"Prince of New York", you just have to choose not to watch them!" And Morgan you ever
call the President a coward again for your own PR purposes, it’s not going to be C.J.
Cregg you gotta deal with, it’s going to be me. You understand what I’m saying, right?
ROSS
[very slowly] Yes.
SAM
Now why don’t you go back to your meeting and show me how much you want to make it up
to us.
Sam sits down at his desk, Ross leaves. Toby walks by and throws Sam his rubber ball.
TOBY
Good job.
Sam smiles.
CUT TO: EXT. THE WHITE HOUSE - NIGHT
CUT TO: INT. MOVIE THEATER IN THE WHITE HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
The phone rings on the screen, the senior staff, Bartlet, and Ellie are watching.
JOSH
[in the back, to Donna] This isn’t good.
DONNA
What?
JOSH
The President’s not talking.
DONNA
There’s a movie on.
JOSH
He usually talks during the movie.
Bartlet stands up and leaves.
CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - NIGHT
The Surgeon General is waiting, dressed in formal attire. Bartlet walks in.
BARTLET
Good evening.
DR. GRIFFITH
Good evening, Mr. President.
BARTLET
I’m sorry about this.
DR. GRIFFITH
Yes, sir.
BARTLET
Is that your resignation?
DR. GRIFFITH
[holds up the paper] Yes, sir.
BARTLET
Thank you.
DR. GRIFFITH
On thinking about it, I felt your firing me would send a dangerous signal to whomever
had my job next.
BARTLET
Did you not think that playing down the dangers of drug use sent a dangerous signal
as well?
DR. GRIFFITH
I do not believe that is what I did, sir. I was asked, by and large, if marijuana holds
the same addictive properties as heroin or LSD; it does not. I was asked if marijuana
poses a greater health risk than nicotine and alcohol, and in my opinion, it does not.
And I believe if you look at the transcript...
BARTLET
Millie, did you put her up to it?
DR. GRIFFITH
Sir?
BARTLET
"My father won’t fire the Surgeon General, he would never do that." You didn’t put her
up to it?
DR. GRIFFITH
No, sir.
BARTLET
You didn’t pick up the phone after Josh came to see you and say, "Ellie, it’s your
godmother, let’s stick it to your old man, and paint him into a corner?"
DR. GRIFFITH
No, sir.
BARTLET
Why haven’t I ever been able to get her to like me? I’m asking you.
DR. GRIFFITH
Sir, I’m not sure it’s appropriate...
BARTLET
I’m asking you.
DR. GRIFFITH
Well, I think you’re wrong.
BARTLET
I’m not.
DR. GRIFFITH
She worships you, Mr. President...
BARTLET
She’s mad at me.
Dr. Griffith
Well, you’re mad at her.
BARTLET
Yes, I am!
DR. GRIFFITH
Sir...
BARTLET
I was running for President, where the hell was she?
DR. GRIFFITH
She was with us.
BARTLET
Not like Zoey and Liz.
DR. GRIFFITH
Sir...
BARTLET
She’s always belonged to Abbey.
DR. GRIFFITH
You frightened her.
BARTLET
No, I didn’t!
DR. GRIFFITH
Sir...
BARTLET
How did I frighten her?
DR. GRIFFITH
Jed, look where you’re standing!
BARTLET
I was elected two years ago, she’s 24 years old!
DR. GRIFFITH
You’ve been the king of whatever room you walked into her entire life.
BARTLET
It never seemed to intimidate Zoey or Liz.
DR. GRIFFITH
Well, kids are different, they’re not the same! You would be amazed, you’d be stunned
at how soon they understand they’re not their father’s favorite.
BARTLET
That’s not true.
DR. GRIFFITH
Sir...
BARTLET
That’s not true.
DR. GRIFFITH
Mr. President...
BARTLET
No, no, no. I will bear with the nonsense of the Christian right and the Hollywood
left and the AFL-CIO and the AARP and the Canubus society and Japan, but I will not
stand and allow someone to tell me that I love one of my children less than the others.
[walks to the glass door] She’s frightened of me?
DR. GRIFFITH
She ain’t the only one.
BARTLET
I wanted to be so mad at her. I heard the news and my first thought was.. My god,
"King Lear" is a good play. [sighs] "My father won’t fire the Surgeon General, he would
never do that." I wanted to be so mad at her. But the truth is, it’s the nicest thing
she’s ever said about me.
DR. GRIFFITH
Well, good night, sir.
BARTLET
Good night.
Dr. Griffith walks to the door.
BARTLET
Hey, doc!
DR. GRIFFITH
Sir?
BARTLET
I don’t accept it.
DR. GRIFFITH
I’m sorry, sir?
BARTLET
I don’t accept your resignation.
DR. GRIFFITH
Sir, I appreciate that, but Leo’s right. This shouldn’t stop you from doing the bigger
things.
BARTLET
These are the bigger things. I don’t accept your resignation. [hands her the paper]
You work for me. You go when I tell you to.
DR. GRIFFITH
You’re an excellent role model, Mr. President.
BARTLET
[walking out the glass door, turns] Yes, I know.
DR. GRIFFITH
So you’re back.
BARTLET
[from outside] Yes, indeed.
CUT TO: INT. THE MOVIE THEATER - NIGHT
Bartlet walks to Josh.
BARTLET
Tell
C.J.
, when she gives Millie our support on Monday, she can mean it.
JOSH
[stands up] You know, it’s going to seem to some people like you did it ‘case your
daughter asked you to.
BARTLET
You know, Josh, I think if you ever have a daughter, you’re going to discover there
are worse reasons in the world to do something. Sit down, we’re coming to the good part.
He walks past him to sit near Ellie.
MAN 1 [on movie]
What is he doing?
MAN 2 [on movie]
He’s wondering why that key doesn’t fit. He’s going round to the main entrance.
He stopped again...
BARTLET
[to Ellie] How you doing?
ELLIE
Hmmm?
BARTLET
I said, how you doing?
ELLIE
Fine.
BARTLET
You know, we’re coming up to the good part.
ELLIE
Dad, people are trying to watch the movie.
BARTLET
You want to bet me your tuition no one in this room is going to shush me?
Ellie shakes her head.
BARTLET
I hear you’re thinking about ophthalmology.
ELLIE
[not looking at him] Oncology.
BARTLET
[not looking at her either] Why would you want to study people’s feet?
ELLIE
That’s podiatry.
BARTLET
That’s children’s medicine.
ELLIE
Pediatrics.
BARTLET
I thought it was obstetrics.
ELLIE
That’s pregnant women.
BARTLET
And what’s the study of feet?
ELLIE
[looking at him] Dad, you’re not going to make me laugh.
BARTLET
Hmmm? [beat, while he looks at her gently] The only thing you ever had to do to make me
happy was come home at the end of the day.
Ellie looks like she’s about to cry.
BARTLET
So, endocrinology would be what? Disorders of the gallbladder?
ELLIE
[chokes the word] Thyroid.
BARTLET
I’m pretty sure you’re wrong about that, I think endocrinology is your sub-specialty
of internal medicine, devoted to the digestive system.
ELLIE
That would be gastroenterology.
BARTLET
Are you sure it’s not nephrology, immunology, cardiology, or dermatology?
ELLIE
[smiling] Would you stop it? I’m trying to watch the movie.
BARTLET
Okay. Here comes the good part.
They sit there, watching the movie, close to each other.
DISSOLVE TO: END TITLES.
FADE TO BLACK.
THE END
* * *
The West Wing and all its characters are properties of Aaron Sorkin, John Wells
Production, Warner Brothers Television, and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended.
Episode 2.15 -- "Ellie"
Original Airdate: February 21, 2001, 9:00 P.M. EST