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  • Episode 3.21 -- "Posse Comitatus"
    The West Wing Scripts/Season 3 2008. 11. 6. 17:54
    THE WEST WING
    "POSSE COMITATUS"
    WRITTEN BY: AARON SORKIN
    DIRECTED BY: ALEX GRAVES
    
    TEASER
    
    FADE IN: INT. THE BRIEFING ROOM - DAY
    The reporters laugh and chat as C.J. holds a briefing.
    
    C.J.
    We're leaving exactly one hour later than we planned. At 5:00, he'll board Marine One for 
    the trip to Andrews, where he'll board Air Force One for the trip to New York. We're just 
    trying to be helpful because we understand that a Presidential motorcade rolling through 
    midtown Manhattan around 6:00, 6:30 really helps keep things well-lubed out there. As a 
    matter of fact, we apologize to New Yorkers for the inconvenience, but the delay was 
    inevitable.
    
    The reporters chuckle.
    
    C.J.
    I meant to say 'unavoidable.' The delay was unavoidable. The President will make a short 
    visit at City Hall and be in his feet at 7:30.
    
    ARTHUR
    Why is this such an early curtain?
    
    C.J.
    The play is 19 hours long.
    
    The reporters laugh.
    
    C.J.
    It's long. It's five and a half hours.
    
    KATIE
    Do you have a nose count yet this morning?
    
    C.J.
    On the welfare bill?
    
    KATIE
    Yeah. I heard there was more movement last night.
    
    C.J.
    Yeah, there's movement. It's close.
    
    KATIE
    How close?
    
    C.J.
    Look at the color of Josh Lyman's hair.
    
    STEVE
    How much of at least the summer plan for the campaign depends on winning the vote?
    
    C.J.
    I'd go beyond that. I'd say the future of the entire world depends on it.
    
    More laughter.
    
    C.J.
    I don't want to scare anybody, but I'd call your Congressman. Mark?
    
    MARK
    Seriously, 50 dollars if you give me a straight answer. Are they gonna meet tonight?
    
    C.J.
    The President and Governor Ritchie?
    
    MARK
    Yes.
    
    C.J.
    I don't know.
    
    MARK
    Now, I'm just gonna blow it on booze and women.
    
    More laughter.
    
    C.J.
    Anything else? I'll see you in New York.
    
    CHRIS
    Uh, wait. You never told us why the delay.
    
    C.J.
    I'm sorry?
    
    CHRIS
    Why is the President leaving an hour later?
    
    C.J.
    He scheduled a last-minute meeting.
    
    CHRIS
    With who?
    
    C.J.
    Good question.
    
    C.J. flips through her copy of the President's schedule, runs her index finger on the 
    second page until she sees the name.
    
    C.J.
    Qumari Defense Minister Abdul Shareef.
    
    SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES.
    END TEASER
    * * *
    
    ACT ONE
    
    FADE IN: INT. THE SITUATION ROOM - DAY
    Leo, the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and intelligence personnel are already settled inside, 
    waiting on the President.
    
    LEO
    Where'd we get the wires crossed? How'd the Pentagon put it on the schedule?
    
    FITZWALLACE
    We didn't get the wires crossed.
    
    LEO
    He's meeting with the guy. He's gonna be in the Oval Office.
    
    FITZWALLACE
    He was always gonna do that.
    
    LEO
    It wasn't cancelled?
    
    FITZWALLACE
    No way.
    
    LEO
    Fitz...
    
    FITZWALLACE
    The White House cancels a meeting at the last minute, he's gonna have somebody tasting 
    his food for a month. I don't want him thinking.
    
    LEO
    I don't want the President... All right. I was gonna say I don't want him putting a voice 
    to the guy. I take my daughter to a seafood place, the first thing she does is name all 
    the lobsters in the tank, so I can't eat them.
    
    The doors fly open for Bartlet, and everyone stands.
    
    OFFICER
    Ten-hut.
    
    BARTLET
    Hello.
    
    LEO
    Good morning, sir.
    
    Everyone else greets the President before they all sit.
    
    MAN
    Mr. President, we wanted to lay out some of the rules.
    
    BARTLET
    There are rules for these things?
    
    MAN
    [pause] Uh, yes sir. The first one being the National Security Act, which says basically 
    that only the President can trigger a covert action. This isn't a situation where you 
    need to know as little as possible. The law requires that you know everything.
    
    BARTLET
    Doesn't the law also require that I not assassinate someone?
    
    MAN 2
    Yes. Political assassination is banned by Executive Order. Two Executive Orders, as a 
    matter of fact.
    
    BARTLET
    I know. One of them was mine.
    
    LEO
    The E.O. is law, but it was made up by the Executive, and the Executive can ignore it.
    
    BARTLET
    Assume for a second I say yes. How do we do it? Fitz walks up to him with a gun?
    
    FITZWALLACE
    No, it can't be military.
    
    BARTLET
    Why?
    
    FITZWALLACE
    The Posse Comitatus Act of 1878 prohibits the military from civilian law enforcement, and 
    it can't happen on American soil.
    
    BARTLET
    The things we choose to care about.
    
    MAN 3
    Mr. President, I should mention that if you give the order, the law insists that you 
    inform what we call the gang of eight. That's the leadership on both parties and both 
    houses and the chairpeople and ranking members of the two intelligence committees.
    
    BARTLET
    If it can't happen here, then why'd we care that Shareef was delivering himself?
    
    Fitzwallace has already walked next to the computer display.
    
    FITZWALLACE
    He's flying back tonight in his gulfstream. The pilot will be one of our people. They'll 
    experience a mechanical failure about 90 minutes into the flight and set down in a remote 
    RAF strip in Bermuda. It's really not much more than a road in the grass.
    
    BARTLET
    The British say yes?
    
    FITZWALLACE
    Yes, sir.
    
    BARTLET
    How many over there know about this?
    
    FITZWALLACE
    Three.
    
    BARTLET
    And some people in Bermuda?
    
    FITZWALLACE
    Yes, sir.
    
    LEO
    [to everyone] This is as big as the club gets, all right?
    
    BARTLET
    [uneasily] Okay. Well... surely, this is the most absurd meeting I ever sat in, and 
    friends, that is saying something.
    
    As Bartlet rises, everyone else does.
    
    MAN 3
    Sir, will you be exchanging gifts with Shareef when you meet this afternoon?
    
    BARTLET
    Yeah, I imagine.
    
    MAN 3
    We'd like you to give him this.
    
    He nods to the man next to him. The man walks over to Bartlet while pulling out a pen 
    from his jacket pocket. He hands the pen to the President.
    
    BARTLET
    What does the pen do? Squirts poison?
    
    MAN 3
    It's got a small recording device in there. He'll probably throw it in the trash, but you 
    never know. You might get lucky. He sticks it in his pocket on the flight home.
    
    From him, Bartlet looks down at the pen on his hand. He glances at Leo and drops the pen 
    on the table. He starts to walk out.
    
    MAN 3
    Sir?
    
    BARTLET
    We give him it boxed. Tell them to put it in a box.
    
    Bartlet walks out.
    
    CUT TO: INT. TULLY'S BREAKFAST PLACE - DAY
    Josh and Amy are giving their orders to the waitress.
    
    AMY
    Can I get an egg-white omelet and some toast that's badly burnt?
    
    JOSH
    Just coffee, thanks.
    
    WAITRESS
    Yes.
    
    The waitress leaves. Josh turns to Amy.
    
    JOSH
    That doesn't give you cancer?
    
    AMY
    Burnt toast?
    
    JOSH
    Yeah.
    
    AMY
    They're not sure. That's why I have the egg-white omelet.
    
    JOSH
    Welfare is a core issue with swing and independent voters. They use it as a barometer to 
    measure a President's values on work and responsibility.
    
    AMY
    Yeah.
    
    JOSH
    We're gonna win the vote.
    
    AMY
    We'll see.
    
    JOSH
    We will... but we're gonna. I have a nine-point margin.
    
    AMY
    I think you're gonna lose Burnet, Bristol and Keith.
    
    JOSH
    They're on that fence?
    
    AMY
    Yeah.
    
    JOSH
    You understand we have to authorize welfare one way or another. You got to do it every 
    six years.
    
    AMY
    Have I done something to make you think I'm dumb?
    
    JOSH
    Amy...
    
    AMY
    Doesn't the fact that you have to re-authorize it means that Republicans...?
    
    JOSH
    You have an extra billion in child care.
    
    AMY
    That's great, but the marriage incentives are terrible.
    
    JOSH
    We don't like the marriage incentives, either. Don't be ridiculous, but independent 
    voters...
    
    AMY
    Please say "white men" instead of "independent voters," and if you're serious about 
    making welfare a second chance and not a way of life, then you have to give people job 
    training.
    
    JOSH
    Call off the hunt, and I'll see to it that you guys can make up with The White House.
    
    AMY
    Why?
    
    JOSH
    'Cause we're gonna win.
    
    CUT TO: INT. A QUIET HOME - DAY
    Charlie rings the doorbell. Nobody answers. He peeks in the side window and knocks on the 
    door. A woman opens the door slightly and looks at Charlie.
    
    MS. DEBORAH FIDERER
    Yes?
    
    CHARLIE
    Mrs. DiLaguardia?
    
    MS. FIDERER
    Yes?
    
    CHARLIE
    It's Charlie. I think there's trouble with your phone line. We kept getting disconnected.
    
    MS. FIDERER
    No...
    
    CHARLIE
    I hope you don't mind I just drove on out.
    
    MS. FIDERER
    No. Yes, I... We weren't getting disconnected. I was hanging up.
    
    CHARLIE
    Why?
    
    MS. FIDERER
    I wasn't interested in the job.
    
    CHARLIE
    Why didn't you just say so?
    
    MS. FIDERER
    You would have asked why.
    
    CHARLIE
    Yeah.
    
    MS. FIDERER
    My way was faster.
    
    CHARLIE
    Why aren't you interested...?
    
    She slams the door before Charlie could finish. Charlie knocks again. She opens the door.
    
    MS. FIDERER
    So you have my address. What other corners of my personal life have you rooted out?
    
    CHARLIE
    You worked at The White House. We know where you live.
    
    MS. FIDERER
    I bet you do.
    
    CHARLIE
    May I come inside for one minute?
    
    MS. FIDERER
    You're not allowed to park there.
    
    CHARLIE
    Yes, I am.
    
    MS. FIDERER
    All right.
    
    She finally lets Charlie inside. They walk to the living room.
    
    CHARLIE
    Mrs. DiLaguardia.
    
    MS. FIDERER
    I'm not married to Mr. DiLaguardia anymore. My name is Debbie Fiderer.
    
    CHARLIE
    Fidler?
    
    MS. FIDERER
    Fiderer.
    
    CHARLIE
    Ms. Fiderer, you've worked as executive assistant to Terrance Hunt: managing editor of 
    Gannet News, Jack Kent Cooke: former owner of the Washington Redskins, Jordan Williams: 
    founding partner at Cutler, Williams, Rossi, and the White House Office of Presidential 
    Personnel, and I'd like you to come meet with the President today to discuss filling 
    Delores Landingham's job.
    
    MS. FIDERER
    No.
    
    CHARLIE
    Why?
    
    MS. FIDERER
    Oh, this is so much worse than the phone call would have been.
    
    CHARLIE
    Why?
    
    MS. FIDERER
    Because I don't work for anyone, Charlie. I'm my own boss. I set my sail and go that 
    particular direction. [points]
    
    CHARLIE
    You do?
    
    MS. FIDERER
    Yes.
    
    CHARLIE
    How's the sailing been?
    
    MS. FIDERER
    I beg your pardon?
    
    CHARLIE
    How's business?
    
    MS. FIDERER
    I'll admit I got off to a rocky start.
    
    CHARLIE
    What'd you try?
    
    MS. FIDERER
    Gambling.
    
    CHARLIE
    Didn't work out?
    
    MS. FIDERER
    No, but all that's changed.
    
    CHARLIE
    'Cause now you're...?
    
    MS. FIDERER
    I'm an alpaca farmer.
    
    CHARLIE
    Are you serious?
    
    MS. FIDERER
    It's the world's finest livestock investment, Charlie.
    
    CHARLIE
    You're talking about those sheep they show on late-night T.V.?
    
    MS. FIDERER
    Well, they're alpacas, and if you knew that, you'd know that the textiles made from their 
    fiber are coveted by the best fashion houses.
    
    CHARLIE
    You swallowed a brochure?
    
    MS. FIDERER
    I have two of the Huacaya variety.
    
    CHARLIE
    You were Executive to the head of the U.S. Olympic Organizing Committee, 
    
    MS. FIDERER
    Yes.
    
    CHARLIE
    I'm sending a car for you in 90 minutes. [heads for the door]
    
    MS. FIDERER
    I was fired from The White House, Charlie.
    
    CHARLIE
    I know you were.
    
    Charlie opens the door. Ms. Fiderer watches him leave.
    
    CUT TO: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE NORTHWEST LOBBY - DAY
    Agent Simon Donovan, in casual clothes, walks in with a young black man, Anthony.
    
    SIMON
    You know what you should do? You should bring your mom a souvenir from The White House. 
    Everyday, you should show your mom some expression of love. A smile. "You look pretty 
    today, mom." A good smack on the ass they always like.
    
    Anthony chuckles.
    
    SIMON
    You know why you should give your mom an expression of love everyday?
    
    ANTHONY
    'Cause she raised me?
    
    SIMON
    Well, okay. I was gonna say just to make things easier.
    
    Simon pushes the doors to JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA, where he starts getting coffee.
    
    ANTHONY
    So, you're gonna be careful in New York, right?
    
    SIMON
    We're only going for a few hours.
    
    ANTHONY
    No, I mean when the crazy guy shows up.
    
    SIMON
    You don't think I can handle myself?
    
    ANTHONY
    Well...
    
    SIMON
    What?
    
    ANTHONY
    You got skills. I don't deny that. You can shoot, and you're athletic.
    
    SIMON
    But?
    
    ANTHONY
    You're slow-witted.
    
    SIMON
    Let the beatings begin.
    
    ANTHONY
    [laughs] You're not very bright, and the criminals can sense this about you.
    
    Simon taps Anthony's face a couple of times and grabs his head for a headlock.
    
    SIMON
    Come here.
    
    C.J.
    Good morning.
    
    C.J. is standing in the middle of the hallway, watching them. Simon lets Anthony go and 
    almost dutifully stands to the side.
    
    SIMON
    Good morning.
    
    C.J.
    I thought you weren't on 'til this afternoon.
    
    SIMON
    I'm not. I arranged this for my friend Anthony here. Anthony, this is Ms. Cregg.
    
    ANTHONY
    Hi.
    
    C.J.
    Hey. [They shake hands.]
    
    SIMON
    You think it's possible for Anthony to get a souvenir he can give to his mom?
    
    C.J.
    Sure, it is. [calls] Carol? [to Anthony] That's really sweet, Anthony. Doing something 
    nice for your mom. [taps Simon on the shoulder] You should be like that.
    
    SIMON
    Yes.
    
    Carol walks up.
    
    C.J.
    Could you set this gentleman up with a keychain?
    
    CAROL
    Yup. [walks off]
    
    C.J.
    It'll have the Seal of the President on it, and President Bartlet's signature, and you 
    can tell your mom that you can't buy this in a souvenir shop. In fact, you can't buy it 
    anywhere 'cause it's against the law to sell the Seal of the President. You can only get 
    it here.
    
    ANTHONY
    Yeah, but if the cops stopped me, aren't they gonna think I stole it?
    
    C.J.
    If the cops stopped you, they're gonna think you're an important person.
    
    SIMON
    Stop you for what?
    
    ANTHONY
    Whatever.
    
    SIMON
    Wait outside a second, will you?
    
    ANTHONY
    Yeah.
    
    C.J.
    Nice meeting you.
    
    Anthony heads to the lobby. Simon and C.J. go inside C.J.'S OFFICE.
    
    C.J.
    Is he your nephew?
    
    SIMON
    No. I'm a Big Brother. We've been together about three years.
    
    C.J.
    Are you good at it?
    
    SIMON
    I don't know. He says he wants to be a Big Brother when he gets older, so you know, 
    I guess...
    
    C.J.
    Listen. I was thinking there's really no reason for you to make the trip to New York.
    
    SIMON
    Yeah?
    
    C.J.
    I'm gonna be traveling with the President the whole time.
    
    SIMON
    Can I say something?
    
    C.J.
    Sure.
    
    SIMON
    I'm not allowed to date a protectee.
    
    C.J.
    Who's trying to date you?
    
    SIMON
    I'm not allowed to kiss a protectee.
    
    C.J.
    Who's trying to kiss you?
    
    SIMON
    You did.
    
    C.J.
    No, I didn't.
    
    SIMON
    C.J., I'm trusted with a serious job.
    
    C.J.
    Aren't you not allowed to call a protectee by their first name?
    
    SIMON
    Yes, ma'am. I'm gonna take Anthony home.
    
    C.J.
    There's really no reason for you to come to New York.
    
    SIMON
    See you on the plane.
    
    C.J. watches Simon go.
    
    CUT TO: INT. THE PRESIDENT'S PRIVATE STUDY - DAY
    Bartlet is in another session with the psychiatrist, Dr. Stanley Keyworth.
    
    BARTLET
    It's "The War of the Roses." All the Henrys, and all the Richards, for that matter.
    
    STANLEY
    In some kind of condensed form?
    
    BARTLET
    Yeah.
    
    STANLEY
    'Cause you'd be there for weeks, right, if...?
    
    BARTLET
    Yeah. There's also singing.
    
    STANLEY
    Oh, it's a musical?
    
    BARTLET
    No, but they're gonna sing from time to time, and one of the songs is a song I love. 
    I can't think of the name now, but it's an Edwardian... It always reminds me... It makes 
    me think of college, like, I don't know, like they should be singing it in the dining 
    hall at Christ College at Cambridge. The chorus is, "And victorious in war shall be made 
    glorious in peace." I was just singing it this morning.
    
    A moment of silence.
    
    STANLEY
    How have you been sleeping?
    
    BARTLET
    Good. Yeah. Let me ask you something. Is there a crime, which if it wasn't illegal, you 
    would do?
    
    STANLEY
    I'd park anywhere I want.
    
    BARTLET
    Right, but you wouldn't rob a bank?
    
    STANLEY
    No.
    
    BARTLET
    Connecticut had a law prohibiting the use of contraceptives. It was written out of rage 
    against adultery. But in the age of AIDS, don't Connecticut residents do more for the 
    general welfare by flagrantly breaking the law?
    
    STANLEY
    There was a law against... contraceptives?
    
    BARTLET
    Yeah.
    
    STANLEY
    Can I ask, sir, how somebody used to get caught?
    
    BARTLET
    Stanley...
    
    STANLEY
    What's on your mind, Mr. President?
    
    BARTLET
    I can't tell you.
    
    STANLEY
    Yeah, but you can.
    
    Bartlet pauses, looks away and thinks.
    
    BARTLET
    No, I really can't. It's high security. To say nothing of... [sighs heavily]
    
    STANLEY
    To say nothing of what?
    
    BARTLET
    If I tell you I intend to commit a crime, you're required by law to report it. [beat] 
    I have a strange meeting coming up. [beat] I'm gonna go. It's good seeing you.
    
    Bartlet stands, grabs his jacket, and leaves Stanley inside.
    
    FADE OUT.
    END ACT ONE
    * * *
    
    ACT TWO
    
    FADE IN: INT. THE ROOSEVELT ROOM - DAY
    Sam and Toby are meeting with a Congressman. Toby paces.
    
    CONGRESSMAN
    Go ahead without the governors. You're asking for trouble.
    
    SAM
    You co-sponsored the bill.
    
    CONGRESSMAN
    Yeah. I'm saying if you increase the work hours, for example, what would the governors do 
    if there aren't enough jobs?
    
    SAM
    I don't even understand that.
    
    TOBY
    I don't think the congressman is here as a co-sponsor of the bill, Sam. I think he's here 
    as the leader of Florida's Republican Delegation.
    
    CONGRESSMAN
    The President should meet with Ritchie tonight.
    
    SAM
    That's not gonna happen
    
    CONGRESSMAN
    They should walk in the door together.
    
    SAM
    Walk in the door together?
    
    TOBY
    It's a Catholic fundraiser, Ted. It's not a network debate.
    
    CONGRESSMAN
    They should walk in the door together. They should go in a room and talk, and then they 
    should watch the play. And there are five congressmen who would be interested in the 
    outcome of that meeting.
    
    SAM
    We get the votes... if the President meets with Ritchie?
    
    CONGRESSMAN
    Yes.
    
    TOBY
    Ted, the President enters the room with his wife and the President of China. He doesn't 
    do it with the governor of Florida.
    
    CUT TO: INT. THE MURAL ROOM - DAY
    Josh is meeting with three no votes on the welfare bill.
    
    MAN 1
    Can I ask why you guys are taking on a Broadway show during a vote like this?
    
    JOSH
    It was a scheduling error.
    
    MAN 1
    [sits] It was.
    
    JOSH
    Nonetheless...
    
    MAN 1
    I've got a primary.
    
    JOSH
    I know.
    
    MAN 2
    I'm spending money already.
    
    JOSH
    We can help you raise money.
    
    MAN 3
    So can Amy Gardner.
    
    JOSH
    Look, there's a billion more for child care. This isn't a bad bill. We're fixing ten 
    things...
    
    MAN 1
    How are the women...?
    
    JOSH
    ...that were wrong with welfare. Transportation subsidies...
    
    MAN 1
    How are the women supposed to train for life after welfare when they're required to work 
    38 hours a week?
    
    MAN 3
    Forget the work hours. It's the marriage incentives. I can't run without women.
    
    JOSH
    [pause] All right. These are three 'no' votes, right?
    
    MAN 1
    Yeah.
    
    JOSH
    [stands] Okay. The President's gonna call you.
    
    MAN 1
    Do you know when?
    
    JOSH
    [walking out] No. Sometime during the first intermission.
    
    CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - DAY
    In the hands of ABDUL SHAREEF is the box containing Bartlet's gift. Standing in the middle 
    of the room, Bartlet listens to Shareef's Arabic, while the translator waits by the side. 
    Leo and Fitzwallace stand by the corner, while two men stand just by the doorway.
    The translator speaks when Shareef is finished.
    
    TRANSLATOR
    And that the friendship established long ago between the United States and the nation of 
    Qumar is based on frankness and serves the interests of both the American and Qumari people.
    
    BARTLET
    [indicating the men by the door] Who are these men?
    
    The translator asks Shareef, who responds.
    
    TRANSLATOR
    Bodyguards.
    
    BARTLET
    Okay.
    
    Shareef speaks again.
    
    TRANSLATOR
    And I would personally like to congratulate you, Mr. President, on the renewal of your 
    ten-year lease on the Air Base in Tiaret.
    
    BARTLET
    Yeah, I'm feeling particularly proud of that today.
    
    The translator interprets.
    
    BARTLET
    We're happy you visited us, Mr. Defense Minister. You're welcome here anytime, and please, 
    send the best regards of the President of the United States to the Royal Sultan.
    
    The translator interprets again. Shareef offers his hand. Bartlet just looks at him.
    
    BARTLET
    Not in the Oval Office.
    
    TRANSLATOR
    Sir?
    
    BARTLET
    Tell him I have a rash on my hand. Make sure you apologize.
    
    He translates. A little confused, Shareef slowly drops his hand. He says a word before leaving 
    with his bodyguards.
    
    BARTLET
    Yeah. [to the translator] Thanks.
    
    TRANSLATOR
    Yes, sir. [leaves]
    
    A moment of silence after the guests leave. Bartlet looks down at Shareef's gift.
    
    BARTLET
    It's a hand-carved incense burner. Gypsum and sandalwood.
    
    He throws the incense burner in Fitzwallace's direction. Before he catches it, we--
    
    CUT TO: INT. TOBY'S OFFICE - DAY
    Toby's pink ball bounces off the window, catching Sam's attention. Sam walks to the window 
    to look through from his office. Toby bounces the ball on the window again. Sam walks to 
    Toby's door.
    
    SAM
    What's up?
    
    TOBY
    A.P. called with a quote from Kevin Kahn. [reads from a note] "Governor Ritchie is looking 
    forward to meeting with the President tonight so he could talk about the Federal Government's 
    plan for the Everglades, which would tax sugar farmers into unemployment."
    
    SAM
    It wouldn't.
    
    TOBY
    Yeah, but now he's got another "What's Bartlet hiding from us today?" spot.
    
    SAM
    What about this? Call A.P. and tell them that Governor Ritchie is mistaken and that he is not 
    on the President's schedule, and go further. Say the President would love to meet with Ritchie, 
    but he's gonna be busy tonight passing a vote...
    
    TOBY
    ...that's being hung up by the Florida delegation.
    
    Toby sees Josh passing by.
    
    TOBY
    Josh?
    
    JOSH
    [walking up] Yeah?
    
    TOBY
    In response to a tactical leak from Kevin Kahn, I'm gonna let A.P. know that Florida's messing 
    with the welfare vote. You all right with that?
    
    JOSH
    Yeah.
    
    TOBY
    I'm asking 'cause if we lose the vote then we've just said that he's the one that brought 
    us down.
    
    JOSH
    Yeah.
    
    TOBY
    You all right with this?
    
    JOSH
    Yeah.
    
    CUT TO: INT. OUTER OVAL OFFICE - DAY
    From the sign next to the doorway that says, "PRIVATE, OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT," the camera 
    pans to a view inside, just as Ms. Fiderer walks in. She looks over the empty desk of the 
    President's personal secretary. Charlie walks in.
    
    MS. FIDERER
    Oh, hello.
    
    CHARLIE
    Good. I was worried you were gonna be late.
    
    MS. FIDERER
    No.
    
    CHARLIE
    You want some water or something?
    
    MS. FIDERER
    No. No, thanks. [reveals a bottle of water from her purse]
    
    CHARLIE
    Have you met him before?
    
    MS. FIDERER
    We shook hands for a second before a group picture.
    
    CHARLIE
    You'll be fine.
    
    MS. FIDERER
    Yeah. [drinks]
    
    CHARLIE
    You seem a little better than you were before.
    
    MS. FIDERER
    I took a pill.
    
    CHARLIE
    Why?
    
    MS. FIDERER
    Because I was a little nervous about coming back to the White House.
    
    CHARLIE
    You took a pill?
    
    MS. FIDERER
    I took a couple.
    
    NANCY
    She can go on in now.
    
    Nancy and several other staffers march their way out of THE OVAL OFFICE. Charlie walks in.
    Ms. Fiderer tries not to bump to the exiting staffers, shifting left and right, as she 
    walks in. Bartlet walks to his desk. Ms. Fiderer stands in front.
    
    CHARLIE
    Mr. President, this is Deborah Fiderer. I'll be right outside. [exits]
    
    BARTLET
    It's Fiderer?
    
    MS. FIDERER
    Fideler. Fiderer. It's Fiderer.
    
    BARTLET
    [while signing papers] I saw your resume, so we don't need to talk about that. What have you 
    been doing recently?
    
    MS. FIDERER
    I'm an alpaca farmer.
    
    BARTLET
    Like the sweaters?
    
    MS. FIDERER
    Before they're sweaters.
    
    BARTLET
    Uh-huh. And before that?
    
    MS. FIDERER
    [rolls her eyes] Craps and blackjack.
    
    BARTLET
    You're a professional gambler.
    
    MS. FIDERER
    I like the way that sounds.
    
    BARTLET
    Whereabouts?
    
    MS. FIDERER
    Bally's... mostly.
    
    BARTLET
    Okay. Why did you leave the White House?
    
    MS. FIDERER
    Well, Mr. President, if you want to talk about getting screwed with your pants on...
    
    She drops her bottled water, bends down and picks it up.
    
    BARTLET
    Charlie!
    
    MS. FIDERER
    I guess I... I got pretty-pretty well-doinked.
    
    CHARLIE
    [walks in] Yes, sir.
    
    BARTLET
    Can I have a minute?
    
    CHARLIE
    Yes, sir.
    
    BARTLET
    [to Ms. Fiderer] Would you mind waiting outside just a moment?
    
    MS. FIDERER
    [as she walks out] No, not at all.
    
    BARTLET
    [to Charlie] Is this a joke? If it's a joke, it's both funny and well-executed, but I think 
    you and I both know that it's not. I send you out to replace Delores Landingham, and that's 
    what you came home with?
    
    CHARLIE
    Was she...?
    
    BARTLET
    She was an alpaca farmer who needed two tries to get her own name.
    
    CHARLIE
    Well, sir, maybe...
    
    BARTLET
    Don't worry about it. I'm gonna get the Personnel Office on it. I got to go change for 
    New York.
    
    Bartlet rushes out to the portico. Charlie walks out to the OUTER OVAL OFFICE, shaking his 
    head. Ms. Fiderer is waiting.
    
    CHARLIE
    Okay. Okay, that was my fault. I didn't properly prepare you for the meeting. That was bad 
    staff work. Before your next job interview with the President, I'm gonna remind you that you 
    probably don't want to be stoned.
    
    MS. FIDERER
    There's gonna be a second interview?
    
    CHARLIE
    There's gonna be as many as it takes. We're gonna get this right.
    
    They start to walk out.
    
    MS. FIDERER
    Well, let me back you up a second. Have we done the first one yet?
    
    CHARLIE
    I'm calling a cab now.
    
    MS. FIDERER
    Okay. [beat] Whatever happened to the Swingle Singers?
    
    CHARLIE
    I don't know.
    
    CUT TO: INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY
    A number of politicians are gathered around a round table. Each have a copy of a file in front 
    of them. Two seats are left empty. They are for Leo and Fitzwallace, both of whom walk inside.
    
    LEO
    Good afternoon.
    
    Everyone sits. Leo starts.
    
    LEO
    After being presented with overwhelming evidence, provided by foreign and domestic 
    intelligence agencies, the President requested the intelligence finding you have in your 
    hands right now. That finding has been prepared and signed off by the directors of the 
    NSA and Central Intelligence.
    
    FITZWALLACE
    It was subsequently submitted for review and approval by the National Security Advisor, the 
    Secretaries of State and Defense, Attorney General, White House Counsel, and finally, myself, 
    and I submit it to you for notification.
    
    MAN 1
    How are you getting around 1-1-9-0-5?
    
    LEO
    The President's rescinding his own Executive Order.
    
    MAN 2
    He's on U.S. soil right now. Why can't the FBI act on this?
    
    LEO
    The FBI's role is investigatory. They're not allowed to engage in a police action.
    
    MAN 3
    And the military?
    
    LOBELL
    Posse Comitatus. You're killing Shareef?
    
    LEO
    [pause] I don't know.
    
    MAN 1
    Leo, when does the President give the green light?
    
    LEO
    At the last possible minute. Consider yourselves notified. Thank you. I have theater tickets.
    
    They all rise as Leo walks out.
    
    FADE OUT.
    END ACT TWO
    * * *
    
    ACT THREE
    
    FADE IN: EXT. TIMES SQUARE, NEW YORK CITY - NIGHT
    The bright lights illuminate the night sky, as two security vans equipped with police lights 
    drive by. Sirens are heard everywhere.
    
    CUT TO: EXT. OUTSIDE THE BROADWAY THEATER - CONTINUOUS
    The camera pans down from the sign "The Wars of the Roses" to the street below, where the two 
    security vans pass by. A number of policemen and agents are on toll, as theater patrons, 
    church officials and reporters are gathered near the entrance. The camera continues down to 
    an open security van parked nearby. The agents inside are looking over a detailed map.
    
    RON
    The secure exits are indicated in red. The site agents are standing post.
    
    MALE AGENT
    Yes, sir.
    
    RON
    And the U.D.?
    
    FEMALE AGENT
    Yeah.
    
    RON
    They can bring the dogs in. Thank you.
    
    Ron turns to the street and calls on Simon, who approaches.
    
    RON
    Simon?
    
    SIMON
    Yes, sir.
    
    RON
    We've got a lead. I think I'm gonna have news for you in a few minutes.
    
    SIMON
    Is that right?
    
    RON
    Yeah.
    
    SIMON
    Thank you.
    
    Ron walks away. Simon turns to the entrance, where he sees C.J. come out of the theater. 
    She walks over to a few reporters, just as Simon immediately heads her direction.
    
    REPORTER 1
    C.J.!
    
    REPORTER 2
    Hey C.J.
    
    C.J.
    How you guys doing?
    
    REPORTER 1
    C.J., the President running on time?
    
    C.J.
    Just about.
    
    Simon nonchalantly whisks C.J. away and pulls her to a deserted alley. The wind blows hard.
    
    SIMON
    I asked you to wait with an agent.
    
    C.J.
    I wanted to get some air.
    
    SIMON
    That's fine, but I asked you to wait with an agent.
    
    C.J.
    Simon...
    
    SIMON
    You can say to the agent, "I'd like to go outside and get some air," and he'll go with you.
    
    C.J.
    I'm standing in the middle of the President's security detail. What do you think's gonna 
    happen to me?
    
    SIMON
    [raises voice] I don't know what's gonna happen to you. If I did, this would be easy!
    
    C.J.
    Maybe if we didn't shout so much.
    
    SIMON
    I have spent my adult life protecting people. You're the first person who's got me seriously 
    thinking about switching sides.
    
    C.J.
    Oh, I'm sorry you feel that way. I think I've been a treat.
    
    SIMON
    [sarcastic] Oh, yes you have. A little Easter treat. Just for me.
    
    C.J.
    You seem a little riled.
    
    SIMON
    [angry] From the first day, you've acted like this is all my fault, when that's a pretty tough 
    case to make.
    
    C.J.
    I don't think any of it's your fault, and I appreciate everything you've done.
    
    SIMON
    I got to say, there are times when it seems like you like me.
    
    C.J.
    I do like you.
    
    SIMON
    Then you just walk off to stick it to me, and forget the personalities. It's just stupid!
    
    C.J.
    I said I do like you.
    
    SIMON
    I meant the other way!
    
    C.J.
    So did I. I tried to kiss you.
    
    SIMON
    You said you didn't!
    
    C.J.
    I was lying, you idiot.
    
    SIMON
    All right. I'm switching sides now.
    
    C.J.
    I was embarrassed. I fumbled it.
    
    SIMON
    You didn't. I told you. I'm not allowed!
    
    C.J.
    It sounded like an excuse.
    
    SIMON
    It's not. Somebody is threatening to kill you. I can't be... I watched you for three seconds 
    trying on dresses in Barney's, and the guy shows up... I can't be...
    
    C.J.
    You watched me at Barney's?
    
    SIMON
    You're like the girl in Driver's Ed. who won't watch the prom night movie becuase it's gross, 
    and so ends up missing an important lesson about drinking and driving.
    
    Simon's phone rings. He starts to answer it.
    
    C.J.
    [laughs] What in God's name are you talking about?
    
    SIMON
    [into phone] Simon Donovan.
    
    He walks. C.J. follows.
    
    C.J.
    You're saying I need to take my protection more seriously? 'Cause Simon, this is happening 
    to me. I think I take the situation plenty seriously, but I have to live my life, so maybe...
    
    SIMON
    [stops] I have a phone to my ear. What does that mean to you?
    
    C.J.
    I shouldn't be talking.
    
    SIMON
    [into phone] Yes, sir. [listens] Thank you.
    
    Simon hangs up and turns to C.J.
    
    SIMON
    They've got him.
    
    C.J.
    What do you mean?
    
    SIMON
    We have him in custody. It's him. [into wrist mic] 10-50. It's Donovan. They got my guy.
    
    C.J.
    They have him?
    
    SIMON
    They stopped his train in Trenton.
    
    C.J.
    Where was he going?
    
    SIMON
    Here. He wasn't gonna do anything to you.
    
    C.J.
    This is over.
    
    SIMON
    There's paperwork.
    
    C.J.
    I meant for me.
    
    SIMON
    Yeah.
    
    C.J.
    Thank you.
    
    SIMON
    You're welcome.
    
    C.J.
    Seriously.
    
    C.J. leans in to kiss Simon on the cheek. They get comfortably close. Without resistance, they 
    kiss passionately. It was a kiss weeks in the making. Well worth the wait. A long savored 
    moment passes before they let go. They stay close, as if they can't get enough of each other.
    They speak softly.
    
    C.J.
    Thanks.
    
    SIMON
    You can drive your car, walk in a crowd, eat a grapefruit, do what you want.
    
    C.J.
    How about a drink?
    
    SIMON
    Sure, you can drink.
    
    C.J.
    Can you meet me after the play?
    
    SIMON
    Yes.
    
    C.J.
    Good.
    
    SIMON
    Where?
    
    C.J.
    Anywhere you want.
    
    SIMON
    How about right here?
    
    Nearby, the sirens announce the arrival of the President's motorcade.
    
    C.J.
    I have to go to work.
    
    C.J. turns and walks back, a big smile on her face. The crowd start to applaud and cheer as 
    Bartlet comes out of his limo. Leo, Toby, Sam and the rest of the staff come out too. Bartlet 
    shakes hands with several Catholic church officials and waves to the crowd across the street. 
    The camera pans up to the sign again: "The Wars of the Roses."
    
    CUT TO: INT. BROADWAY THEATER - NIGHT
    The stage lights are dim as a man speaks.
    
    MAN
    Hung be the heavens with black, yield day and night.
    
    The audience applauds as the trumpets play, marking the start of the Shakespeare Company play. 
    The curtain rises for the first scene. The stage actors, all in periodic clothing, stay 
    frozen, as a man center stage raises his sword and starts his monologue. While he does, 
    the camera pans up to the theater balconies, passes by the President's, and into the rearmost, 
    where Sam walks up and pokes Toby on the shoulder.
    
    MAN
    Comets, importing changes of time and states, brandish your crystal tresses in the sky, and 
    with them scourge the bad revolting stars that have consented unto Henry's death. King Henry 
    the fifth, too famous to live long, virtue he had, deserving to command. He ne'er lift up his 
    hand, but conquered.
    
    In the back balcony, Toby stands and follows Sam outside.
    
    CUT TO: INT. THEATER HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS
    Sam and Toby walk down a small flight of stairs into a well-decorated hallway.
    
    SAM
    He went to the Yankee game.
    
    TOBY
    Ritchie?
    
    SAM
    Yes.
    
    TOBY
    He's at the Yankee game right now?
    
    SAM
    Local news covered it. He said this was how ordinary Americans got their entertainment.
    
    TOBY
    I've been to 441 baseball games in Yankee Stadium. There's not a single person there who's 
    ordinary.
    
    SAM
    I know.
    
    TOBY
    You making fun of the Yankees?
    
    SAM
    No.
    
    TOBY
    Now?
    
    SAM
    I'm not.
    
    TOBY
    They went to the Yankee game.
    
    SAM
    He's coming at intermission.
    
    TOBY
    Well, I'm not sure that suits me.
    
    SAM
    I know what you mean.
    
    TOBY
    Making an entrance after the President. That's just not how we play bridge. It's not how 
    we say cricket.
    
    SAM
    Okay, but you're starting to freak me out a little bit.
    
    TOBY
    Just talk to me a minute.
    
    SAM
    How many people are at the game?
    
    TOBY
    It's a good game. About 40,000 probably.
    
    SAM
    There was an incumbent President, who was facing a primary challenge, and on the day of the 
    primary, his staff sent his motorcade into a district that was heavily favored by his 
    opponent in order to tie up traffic. Now I would like it plain that I would never do anything 
    to temper an election, but...
    
    Toby pats Sam's cheek a few times and squishes his mouth.
    
    TOBY
    I am so... proud of you.
    
    SAM
    You're really very much freaking me out.
    
    Toby starts to fish his pocket for his cell phone.
    
    CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S OFFICE - NIGHT
    Donna appears at the door.
    
    DONNA
    It's Toby on One.
    
    She leaves. Josh picks up the phone and presses a button.
    
    JOSH
    Hey.
    
    TOBY
    Hey.
    
    CUT TO: INT. THEATER HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS
    Toby continues talking to Josh on the phone, while Sam paces in front of him.
    
    TOBY
    Listen, I'm gonna send the motorcade up to Major Deegan. Is that okay with you?
    
    JOSH
    Why?
    
    TOBY
    [to Sam] Josh has a good point. We should think of a reason.
    
    JOSH
    Why don't you guys get back to me?
    
    TOBY
    How's it going?
    
    CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
    
    JOSH
    They'll start voting in about half an hour.
    
    TOBY
    You bringing in Brenda?
    
    JOSH
    Yeah.
    
    TOBY
    I didn't hear you.
    
    JOSH
    Yeah, we're bringing in Brenda. We're gonna make her Chairman of the Platform Committee.
    
    TOBY
    Hey, did I put too much pressure on you with the vote?
    
    JOSH
    No.
    
    TOBY
    With the Ritchie meeting and the A.P. quote?
    
    JOSH
    No.
    
    TOBY
    And I understand the President jumped up and down on you pretty hard last week.
    
    JOSH
    It's over, Toby. We won.
    
    TOBY
    Amy's incredibly employable, Josh.
    
    JOSH
    [chuckles lightly] All right.
    
    TOBY
    All right.
    
    Josh hangs up the phone. An expression of guilt and exhaustion is on his face, even though 
    he won the vote. Donna has been leaning on the doorway, listening.
    
    DONNA
    You did all right, okay?
    
    JOSH
    I bought her boss.
    
    DONNA
    Yeah, that's how you had to win this one. You think her job's really in jeopardy?
    
    JOSH
    No, she'll lose it for sure. Anyway, good job. [stands] See you tomorrow.
    
    DONNA
    You're not gonna stick around for the vote?
    
    JOSH
    We won by eight.
    
    Donna watches Josh leave the office. After a moment, she leaves as well.
    
    FADE OUT.
    END ACT THREE
    * * *
    
    ACT FOUR
    
    FADE IN: INT. SECURITY VAN - NIGHT
    An agent watches the surveillance monitors. Shown on all three screens, Toby and Sam talks 
    to some reporters in the designated press area.
    
    REPORTER 1 [VO]
    Toby, it's already intermission, and Governor Ritchie's stuck in traffic. He won't get here 
    until the middle of the second act.
    
    CUT TO: EXT. PRESS AREA - CONTINUOUS
    
    TOBY
    He should have take the Cross Bronx to the West Side.
    
    REPORTER 2
    Sam?
    
    SAM
    I don't know... but I want to tell you some good facts. $1.8 million raised for the Catholic 
    charities tonight. Thanks to the people who made it. While we're talking, the House is passing 
    the President's welfare reform bill, and he appreciates all the governors who worked the vote.
    
    TOBY
    And the Yankees are about to snap a 12-game winning streak. Thanks a lot.
    
    SAM
    What Toby means to say that if 90% of success is showing up, we're just happy that someone's 
    standing up for the other ten.
    
    Sam and Toby turn to leave.
    
    TOBY
    I love the theater.
    
    SAM
    I know what you mean.
    
    CUT TO: INT. THEATER HALLWAY - NIGHT
    Bartlet is posing for pictures with a couple, while Charlie waits. When finished, the couple 
    say their thanks. Bartlet walks with Charlie.
    
    BARTLET
    What's going on?
    
    CHARLIE
    Nothing, sir. [beat] I'll be arranging a second meeting with Deborah Fiderer when we get 
    back to town.
    
    BARTLET
    From this afternoon?
    
    CHARLIE
    Yes, sir.
    
    BARTLET
    Are you pledging a fraternity or something, 'cause this would be a good one.
    
    CHARLIE
    Sir? [stops]
    
    BARTLET
    What's with you and this woman?
    
    CHARLIE
    She hired me. That's why she was fired.
    
    Bartlet, a little surprised, just nods in agreement. They walk again.
    
    CUT TO: INT. A CONVENIENCE STORE - NIGHT
    A sharp-dressed, supposedly off-duty Simon Donovan walks in happily inside the convenience 
    store. He walks past the bright flowers on the side and straight to the candy stand. The 
    Korean grocer behind the counter stands still, while a customer by the corner browses the 
    fruit stand. Simon grabs a Milky Way bar.
    
    SIMON
    [to the grocer] You happen to know if a Milky Way bar has red in it?
    
    He turns to the counter. The grocer, with his thick glasses, stays still, looking down.
    
    SIMON
    Sorry. Kidding. I'm gonna buy this, and... [looks at the flowers] ...and a flower.
    
    GROCER
    [quietly] No, no. We don't have that.
    
    SIMON
    No, I mean I'm gonna buy this. How much is it?
    
    GROCER
    No. It-It's okay.
    
    SIMON
    No. How much is it?
    
    GROCER
    You can go.
    
    Simon sees the open drawer of the cash machine. It's empty. The grocer is still in shock 
    after the robbery.
    
    SIMON
    It's all right.
    
    The grocer backs a little when Simon pulls out his pistol from his concealed holster. 
    He quickly cocks the gun and turns around, pointing the loaded weapon to the suspicious 
    guy by the fruit stand.
    
    SIMON
    Don't move at all. I'm a Federal officer.
    
    The suspected man in the plain gray sweatshirt moves his hand.
    
    SIMON
    Don't reach. I'm Secret Service. You know you'll never get there. Put your hands in the air.
    
    The man complies as Simon steps closer. His gun is still aimed at the culprit.
    
    SIMON
    That's it. I want you to lie down face first on the floor. Let's go.
    
    The man nervously lies down on his stomach. Simon reaches him and puts both of the man's hands 
    behind the back.
    
    SIMON
    Keep it up. You're doing great.
    
    Simon confiscates the man's weapon. He takes off his bow tie and uses it to cuff the man's 
    hands. The grocer watches carefully behind his counter.
    
    SIMON
    You shouldn't get down on yourself. A Secret Service agent walking in the middle of an armed 
    robbery -- that's just bad luck. You lie still, okay?
    
    Simon stands and speaks to his wrist mic, while slowly making his way back to the counter.
    
    SIMON
    This is Donovan. I need NYPD at a Korean grocery at 98th and Broadway. [to the grocer] Sir, 
    I hate to be a problem customer, but if I don't get a Milky Way bar pretty soon...
    
    He is interrupted by movement and did not have time to react. Simon is immediately thrown 
    backward by three deafening shots. A second robber has been hiding in the back aisle. The 
    long-haired goon runs outside after shooting Simon. The grocer panics. He looks at Simon's 
    body and runs out as well. In the background, a melancholy tune starts to play.
    
    CUT TO: INT. BROADWAY THEATER - NIGHT
    The play continues. Bartlet watches from his balcony.
    
    WOMAN
    Too... too unpardonable. Off with the crown, and with the crown, his head. And whilst we 
    breathe, take time to do him dead.
    
    YOUNG MAN
    That is my office for my father's sake.
    
    WOMAN
    Nay. Stay. Let's hear the orisons he makes.
    
    OLDER MAN
    She-wolf of France! But worse than wolves of France, whose tongue more poisons...
    
    Bartlet stands and leaves. In the other balcony, Ron gets C.J.'s attention. They walk out.
    
    CUT TO: INT. THEATER ENTRANCE - NIGHT
    Ron delivers the horrible news. C.J. listens attentively. Outside, a barrage of lights shine.
    The song "Hallelujah" continues.
    
    	I heard there was a secret chord
    	That David played and it pleased the Lord
    	But you don't really care for music, do you?
    
    C.J.
    Somebody's made a mistake. He was just on his way to the field office...
    
    RON
    No.
    
    C.J. tries hard to accept the news, putting her hand on her forehead. The song drains out 
    their conversation.
    
    	It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth
    	The minor fall, the major lift
    	The baffled king composing hallelujahs.
    	Hallelujah...
    
    C.J.
    Excuse me.
    
    CUT TO: INT. CONVENIENCE STORE - NIGHT
    The police have arrived, taking pictures of Simon's body. He is still down on the ground, 
    beside the many flowers.
    
    	Hallelujah...
    
    CUT TO: EXT. TIMES SQUARE - NIGHT
    C.J. is teary-eyed. She walks amongst the people, the lights, the confusion. She bumps into 
    someone, who just walks on.
    
    	Well, your faith was strong, but you needed proof
    	You saw her bathing on the roof
    	Her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you
    	She tied you to a kitchen chair
    	She broke your throne, she cut your hair
    	And from your lips, she drew the hallelujah.
    	Hallelujah, Hallelujah...
    
    C.J. finds a bench to sit on. She gazes up and ahead, still crying.
    
    CUT TO: INT. CONVENIENCE STORE - NIGHT
    Ron sees the fallen agent, and kneels down beside him.
    
    	Hallelujah, Hallelujah...
    
    CUT TO: INT. AMY'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
    Josh and Amy walk to the kitchen. The same song is faintly heard in the background.
    
    JOSH
    What'd you think I was gonna do?
    
    AMY
    I thought you were gonna do this.
    
    JOSH
    And?
    
    AMY
    And I didn't think it was gonna work.
    
    JOSH
    Are you fired?
    
    AMY
    I'm resigning on Monday.
    
    JOSH
    Do you have to?
    
    AMY
    I had an entire policy initiative reversed in an hour. Weren't you given the chance to get 
    the votes you needed by setting up a meeting with Ritchie?
    
    JOSH
    I'm not a dating service.
    
    AMY
    [slams the fridge] What is wrong with you?!
    
    JOSH
    Every serious Democrat is gonna unite behind this President, and I'm not kidding around.
    
    AMY
    Every serious Democrat should be thinking about leading and not following.
    
    JOSH
    Yeah? How's it going so far?
    
    AMY
    Matter of fact, it's going all right, and I'd do it again.
    
    JOSH
    That's what's scaring the hell out of me.
    
    AMY
    Good. It's about time.
    
    The phone in the living room rings.
    
    JOSH
    You can't win the White House while the middle class thinks you disdain work and responsibility.
    
    AMY
    I would hope not, and I congratulate you for punishing poor women as the symbol of the 
    strength of mainstream values.
    
    JOSH
    That's not what we did.
    
    Amy walks to the phone and picks it up.
    
    AMY
    Hello?
    
    JOSH
    Do you not consider it relevant that it would be worse with Rob Ritchie in the White House? 
    Why is that not part of the equation?
    
    AMY
    Honey, Simon Donovan was shot and killed.
    
    Josh stops and reaches to answer the phone.
    
    	And the holy dove was moving too
    	And every breath we drew was hallelujah.
    
    CUT TO: INT. THEATER HALLWAY - NIGHT
    
    	Hallelujah...
    
    It's the play's first intermission. Leo walks along the dark terrace hallway. He sees Bartlet 
    by the corner, peering downstairs. They meet and talk quietly.
    
    BARTLET
    Civilians get trials.
    
    LEO
    I'd argue he's not a civilian. So would the Attorney General.
    
    BARTLET
    They're gonna find out it's us. We could make it look like the plane went down, but they're 
    gonna find out it's us, and I'm gonna be running for reelection while I'm fighting a war 
    against Qumar.
    
    LEO
    That's why you want to say no?
    
    BARTLET
    I want him tried.
    
    LEO
    That can't happen.
    
    BARTLET
    I understand.
    
    LEO
    I was talking this morning about how Mallory names all the lobsters in the tank.
    
    BARTLET
    Yeah.
    
    LEO
    Would it be helpful if I brought you a list of names of Shareef's victims?
    
    BARTLET
    What do you want from me?
    
    LEO
    Who was the monk who wrote, "I always don't know the right thing to do, Lord, but I think 
    the fact that I want to please you pleases you." [beat] You have two minutes, sir.
    
    BARTLET
    This isn't a matter of religion.
    
    LEO
    Yes, sir.
    
    BARTLET
    I recognize that there's evil in the world.
    
    LEO
    What is your objection exactly, sir?
    
    BARTLET
    Doesn't this mean we join the league of ordinary nations?
    
    LEO
    That's your objection? I'm not gonna have trouble saying the Pledge of Allegiance tomorrow.
    
    BARTLET
    That's not my objection.
    
    LEO
    Sir...
    
    BARTLET
    It's just wrong. It's absolutely wrong.
    
    LEO
    I know, but you have to do it anyway.
    
    BARTLET
    Why?
    
    LEO
    'Cause you won.
    
    Bartlet pauses. He starts to walk away, but he stops right in front of Leo's shoulder.
    
    BARTLET
    Take him.
    
    He continues on his way. Silent. Leo grabs his phone and dials.
    
    CUT TO: INT. THEATER MESS - NIGHT
    Bartlet walks down a flight of stairs, past the men's bathroom. A shadow of a man is cast 
    on the bathroom door, while the man washes his hands. Bartlet lights his cigarette in the 
    mess. A female employee spots him.
    
    BARTLET
    [smiling] Caught me.
    
    Behind Bartlet, Governor ROBERT RITCHIE exits the bathroom. Ritchie sees the President and 
    approaches.
    
    ROBERT RITCHIE
    Mr. President.
    
    BARTLET
    Governor.
    
    RITCHIE
    You enjoying the play?
    
    BARTLET
    I am. How about you?
    
    RITCHIE
    We just got here. We were at the Yankee game. We were, you know, hung up in traffic.
    
    BARTLET
    Yeah, I know. Listen, politics aside, and I don't want to make a big deal out of it, but 
    you probably insulted the church, and you can head it off at the pass if you speak to the 
    Cardinal tonight.
    
    RITCHIE
    Well, I didn't mean to insult anybody.
    
    BARTLET
    No.
    
    RITCHIE
    And it's a baseball game. It's how ordinary Americans...
    
    BARTLET
    Yeah. [beat] No, I don't understand that. The center fielder for the Yankees is an accomplished 
    classical guitarist. People who like baseball can't like books?
    
    RITCHIE
    Are you taking this personally?
    
    BARTLET
    No. Something horrible happened about an hour ago.
    
    The two find a place to sit across each other.
    
    BARTLET
    C.J. Cregg was getting threats so we put an agent on her. He's a good guy. He was on my 
    detail for a while, and he was in Rosslyn. He walked in the middle of an armed robbery, 
    and was shot and killed after detaining one of the suspects.
    
    RITCHIE
    Oh. Crime. Boy, I don't know.
    
    BARTLET
    [sighs] We should have a great debate, Rob. We owe it to everyone. When I was running as a 
    governor, I didn't know anything. I made them start Bartlet college in my dining room. 
    Two hours every morning on foreign affairs and the military. You can do that.
    
    RITCHIE
    How many different ways you think you're gonna find to call me dumb?
    
    BARTLET
    I wasn't, Rob. But you've turned being un-engaged into a Zen-like thing, and you shouldn't 
    enjoy it so much is all, and if it appears at times as if I don't like you, that's the 
    reason why.
    
    RITCHIE
    You're what my friends call a superior sumbitch. You're an academic elitist and a snob. 
    You're, uh, Hollywood, you're weak, you're liberal, and you can't be trusted. And if it 
    appears from time to time as if I don't like you, well, those are just a few of the many 
    reasons why.
    
    The start of a great tune is played inside the theater.
    
    BARTLET
    They're playing my song.
    
    Bartlet stands and heads to the stairs, but he turns to Ritchie before reaching them.
    
    BARTLET
    In the future, if you're wondering, "Crime. Boy, I don't know" is when I decided to kick 
    your ass.
    
    Ritchie can't help but smile as Bartlet heads upstairs.
    
    CUT TO: INT. BROADWAY THEATER - NIGHT
    A bright, young boy runs center stage. He starts to sing.
    
    	England arise. Join in the chorus.
    	This is a new made song,
    	You should be... singing.
    	See in the skies, fluttering before us,
    	What the bright bird of peace is bringing
    	Ah...
    
    Other actors walk on stage, joining the boy in the chorus.
    
    	See upon a smiling land
    	Where the wealth of nations stand.
    
    CUT TO: EXT. REMOTE LANDING STRIP IN BERMUDA - NIGHT
    A man distributes loaded rifles to each sniper. The chorus song is still heard aloud.
    
    	Where prosperity and industry
    	Walk ever hand in hand.
    	Where so many blessings crowd
    	'Tis our duty to be proud.
    	Up and answer English yeoman
    	
    CUT TO: INT. SITUATION ROOM - NIGHT
    Fitzwallace is alone in the room, waiting by the phone. The song continues.
    
    	Sing it joyfully aloud!
    
    Back in the LANDING STRIP, a private plane lands. A sniper watches via night vision.
    
    	Every garner filled with grain
    	Every meadow blessed with rain.
    
    Abdul Shareef and his two bodyguards exit the plane. They look around unknowingly. The 
    snipers take aim and fire, sending Shareef and the bodyguards down on the ground. Dead.
    
    	Rich and fertile is the golden corn
    	That bears and bears again.
    
    Bartlet stares at the stage THEATER. In the LANDING STRIP, one of the snipers takes the pen 
    recorder from Shareef and attaches it to a compatible phone. Fitzwallace picks up the phone 
    in the SITUATION ROOM.
    
    	Where so many blessings crowd
    	'Tis our duty to be proud.
    
    In the theater HALLWAY, Leo answers his phone. Bartlet turns his head to look.
    
    	Up and answer English yeoman
    	Sing it joyfully aloud!
    
    The actors in the stage are now waving several flags. From behind them, the lights get 
    blocked from time to time. In the hallway, Leo hangs up. Bartlet stands.
    
    	Upon our country
    	God will pour his rich increase,
    
    Bartlet and Leo meet. Bled out by the loud singing, Leo relays the news before walking away.
    
    	And victorious in war
    	Shall be made glorious in peace.
    	Glorious in peace.
    	Glorious in peace.
    	Glorious in peace.
    	Glorious... 
    
    Bartlet steps behind a curtain, casting a silhouette. For a while, Bartlet's shadow just 
    stands out, and it is the only thing we see.
    
    	...in peace!
    	In peace! In peace!
    
    DISSOLVE TO: END TITLES.
    FADE TO BLACK.
    THE END
    * * *
    
    The West Wing and all its characters are a property of Aaron Sorkin, John Wells 
    Production, Warner Brothers Television and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended.
    
    Episode 3.21 -- "Posse Comitatus"
    Original Airdate: May 22, 2002, 9:00 PM EST
    
    Transcript by: Giorgio
    June 24, 2002
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