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[4.8]Our Father Whose Art Ain't HeavenAct One Scene One - Frasier's Apartment. Eddie is asleep on Martin's chair. Frasier, Niles and Martin enter through the front door. Niles goes to the phone to check his messages. Martin: Look, we had an agreement. We went to see a movie I wanted to see, so I'm supposed to pay for the tickets. Frasier: Very well, Dad. The next time we go to see a Jean-Claude ..

[4.7]A Lilith ThanksgivingAct 1 Scene 1 - Frasier's Apartment Fade in. Martin is sitting in his chair, Niles is on the phone, Daphne is ironing. Niles: Hello? Yes, Buck? It's Dr. Crane. I'm calling to see if the cabin is ready for us. You've got the case of Montrachet? Good, good. And the Thanksgiving feast will be delivered promptly at three? Good. And the woodpile's been thoroughly inspected f..

[4.6]Mixed DoublesACT ONE Scene One – Frasier's Apartment Frasier is looking through the telescope. Niles fidgets beside him. Martin is reading the paper in his Armchair. Frasier: Oh my God... breathtaking. Niles: Well, don't be greedy! Your turn was over forty seconds ago! Frasier: All right, all right, Niles, all right. [steps away] It's the penthouse unit, fourth from the left. Niles: [lookin..

[4.5]Head Game Act One Scene 1 – Café Nervosa. Frasier and Niles are standing at the bar waiting for their coffees. Frasier: So I decided it was time I got to know some of my colleagues in the media. Niles: But a convention? You've never shown any interest before. Frasier: They've never held one in Aspen before! Niles: Just think: hundreds of radio psychiatrists all in the same location. One wel..

[4.4]A Crane's Critique[Act 1] [Scene 1 – Café Nervosa. Frasier, Niles and Martin are all sitting at a table outside the Café. Niles is busy examining his coffee intently.] Niles: Is it me or is the foam a tad dense today? Frasier: Like a dreary fog on a Scottish moor. Niles: Rather than accent it overwhelms. Rather than flirt it assaults. Martin: [annoyed] Rather than watching the ballgame I ha..

[4.3]The Impossible Dream Act One Scene One - A Seedy Motel Room. Frasier is lying in bed, asleep, in the motel room. He awakens and finds that he has a tattoo on his arm that reads "Chesty." There is a half-empty bottle of tequila on a table across from the bed. A shower is running, but then stops suddenly. Frasier props himself up on some pillows and folds him arms behind his head, expectantly..

[4.2]Love Bites Dog Act One Scene 1 – KACL. Bulldog is on the phone outside the booth. Bulldog: Baby, baby. All I’m saying is we should cool it for a while. What’s that saying... er... if you love something, let it go; if it comes back to you... yadda, yadda, yadda? Yeah, that’s it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m really broken up about this. At this point Frasier walks past and Bulldog shouts at him as..

[4.1]The Two Mrs. CranesACT ONE Scene One - Apartment It's breakfast time in the Crane household. Frasier sits reading the newspaper as Niles precariously sits, picking bits out of his muffin with tweezers and placing them neatly on his plate. After a while, it begins to irritate Frasier. Frasier: Niles, what are you doing? Niles: This fruit-nut muffin contains a number of things I don't care fo..