THE WEST WING
“GALILEO”
WRITTEN BY: KEVIN FALLS & AARON SORKIN
DIRECTED BY: ALEX GRAVES
TEASER
FADE IN: EXT. THE WHITE HOUSE COLONNADE - DAY
Bartlet and C.J., along with other aides behind them are walking down the colonnade.
BARTLET
Galileo V.
C.J.
Yes, sir.
BARTLET
Just the name...
C.J.
Galileo V!
BARTLET
You can feel the adventure.
C.J.
Yes, indeed.
BARTLET
NASA's great at naming things.
C.J.
They are.
BARTLET
Mercury, Apollo, Atlantis, the Sea of Tranquility, the Ocean of Storms...
C.J.
Good names!
BARTLET
First time I heard ‘Galileo V,’ the way the imagination immediately... It reminded me of the
way folks in my generation felt when we heard "Yellow Submarine."
C.J.
Okay.
BARTLET
We really did all want to live in a yellow submarine.
C.J.
I can't believe they gave you people drivers' licenses.
BARTLET
Tell me where we're going again.
C.J.
Mars briefing rehearsal.
BARTLET
Why?
C.J.
To rehearse.
BARTLET
Say the name.
C.J.
I said the name.
BARTLET
Say it again. Your imagination, like a child, will explode with unrestrained possibilities
for adventure.
C.J.
[with gusto] Galileo V!
BARTLET
You didn't say it right.
C.J.
I said it fine!
BARTLET
Say it again.
CUT TO: INT. MARS BRIEFING REHEARSAL - DAY
The TelePrompTer shows the name “Galileo” on it and Sam's head pops up. The crewmembers of
the NASA Public Affairs are around the place.
SAM
Who wrote this intro?
SCOTT TATE
I did.
SAM
You're from NASA Public Affairs?
TATE
Yep.
SAM
You mind if I give it a polish?
TATE
Is there a problem?
SAM
No, it's great. You mind if I change it?
TATE
I'd prefer if you didn't.
SAM
Just the same...
TATE
The Public Affairs has cleared the text. If it's gonna be changed, I'd prefer that the
President change it.
SAM
See, that's kind of what he pays me to do, so...
TATE
Look, I don't want to step on your toes. You don't want to step on mine. We're both writers.
SAM
Yes, I suppose, if you broaden the definition to those who can’t spell.
TATE
Excuse me?
Bartlet walks in with C.J.
BARTLET
Good morning!
EVERYONE
Good morning, Mr. President.
C.J.
Sir, this is the crew from NASA Public Affairs.
BARTLET
How you doing?
C.J.
Sir, we're going to run you through the drill for tomorrow morning. First of all, you'll be
flanked on either side by the Flight Operations Manager David Narakawa and NASA Chief
Administrator Dr. Peter Jobson. On either side of them will be Dr. Samuel Thurman of the
Meteorite Analysis team from the Johnson Space Center, and Dr. Joyce Grey-Sutton, Planetary
Geologist from Cal State Northridge. On these monitors you'll be seeing the images beamed
back from the surface and on this computer screen you'll be able to read the questions being
sent in by the kids. I strongly urge you...
BARTLET
Yes.
C.J.
I strongly urge you...
BARTLET
I know.
C.J.
I strongly urge you, Mr. President, to act as moderator and pass the questions of to one of
the experts on the panel rather than answer it yourself.
BARTLET
Yes.
C.J.
Would you like to see some of the questions?
BARTLET
We have questions in advance?
C.J.
Some of them. Would you put them on?
CREWMEMBER [OS]
Sure.
Bartlet sits on one of the chairs in the front and reads from the computer monitor.
BARTLET
Katie, sixth grade, Green Oaks Junior High School, Austin, Texas, asks, "How old is the planet
Mars?" That's a great question, Katie. The planet Mars is 4.6 billion years old.
C.J.
What did I just say?
BARTLET
I knew that one.
C.J.
Nobody likes a know-it-all!
BARTLET
Yes, God forbid, that while talking to 60,000 public school students, the President should
appear smart!
C.J.
That's fine. Just don't show off.
BARTLET
I don't show off. [reads again] Stevie, fourth grader, PS 31, Manhattan, asks, "What is the
temperature on Mars?" Well, Stevie, if one of our expert panelists were here, they would tell
you the average temperature ranges from 15 degrees to minus 140.
C.J.
[looking through her papers] That happens to be wrong. It ranges from 60 to minus 225.
BARTLET
I converted it to Celsius in my head.
C.J.
Thank you.
BARTLET
Can I see the intro?
SAM
It's up on the Prompter.
BARTLET
[reads] "Good morning! I'm speaking to you live from the West Wing of the White House. Today
we have a very unique opportunity to take part live in an extremely historic event which..."
Whoa, boy...
SAM
[waves and smiles] How you doing, Mr. President?
BARTLET
Who wrote this intro?
TATE
I did, sir. I'm Scott Tate from NASA Public Affairs.
BARTLET
[gets up and shakes his hand] Scott. "Unique" means "one of a kind." Something can't be very
unique, nor can it be extremely historic.
C.J.
While we're at it, do we have to use the word "live" twice in the first two sentences like we
just cracked the technology?
TATE
Look...
C.J.
We're also broadcasting in living color, right?
BARTLET
Sam?
SAM
Yeah.
BARTLET
[to Tate] He's gonna make some changes.
TATE
[following Sam] You're going to clear them with me?
SAM
I doubt it. [to a recording staffer] Write this: "Good morning. Eleven months ago a 1200 pound
spacecraft blasted off from Cape Canaveral, Florida. Eighteen hours ago..." Is it eighteen
hours ago? We're on the air at noon eastern.
C.J.
Yeah.
SAM
"Eighteen hours ago it landed on the planet Mars. You, me, and 60,000 of your fellow students
across the country along with astroscientists and engineers from the Jet Propulsion Lab in
Southern California, NASA Houston, and right here, at the White House, are going to be the
first to see what it sees, and to chronicle an extraordinary voyage of an unmanned ship
called Galileo V."
BARTLET
[taps C.J. on the arm] He said it right.
C.J. nods.
SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES.
END TEASER
* * *
ACT ONE
FADE IN: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE MESS - DAY
We see busy chefs in the kitchen of White House Mess as the camera pans to Josh and Toby
sitting at a table.
JOSH
I don't understand how if it's noon in the East, and 9 Pacific, how it's 2:37 on Mars.
TOBY
[while reading a newspaper] Well, Mars is a different time zone.
JOSH
Yeah, it's the 37 minutes I was...
TOBY
Mars rotates on it's own axis every 24 hours and 37 minutes.
JOSH
Ah.
TOBY
Have you seen this morning's news report?
JOSH
Yes.
TOBY
About green beans?
JOSH
I didn't... see anything about the green beans. [picks up coffee cup and drinks]
TOBY
The Milwaukee Journal is quoting an unnamed White House source as saying the President doesn't
like green beans. [looks up]
JOSH
That's a pretty slow news day in Milwaukee.
TOBY
Josh...
JOSH
It's not gonna be picked up by...
LEO
[entering] Josh! You guys done?
JOSH
Yeah.
LEO
Walk me out.
Josh and Toby get up and follow Leo.
JOSH
Oh Leo, ask me how long a Martian day is.
LEO
No, I don't think I will. Toby, do you know how a stamp is chosen?
TOBY
A stamp?
LEO
Yeah.
TOBY
No.
The three walk out of mess.
LEO
You're gonna learn.
TOBY
Why?
LEO
The Postmaster General needs your help.
TOBY
Why?!
LEO
The Citizen's Stamp Advisory Committee has...
JOSH
There's a Citizen's Stamp Advisory Committee?
LEO
Yes.
JOSH
Made up of members of the There-But-For-The-Grace-of-God-go-I Club?
LEO
You want to mock people or let me talk to Toby?
JOSH
I want to mock people.
LEO
The Citizen's Stamp Advisory Committee has recommended to the Postmaster General that
Marcus Aquino be put on the next stamp issue.
TOBY
You know who he is?
JOSH
No.
LEO
He's a former Resident Commissioner of Puerto Rico and a Korean War hero.
TOBY
Then what's the problem?
JOSH
He advocated statehood, right?
LEO
Strongly advocated it.
TOBY
Give it to somebody else!
LEO
No.
TOBY
Please?
LEO
This is a public face thing, and the Postmaster General wants your help!
TOBY
Well he can wait on a line around the block! Even while I have two of my 20 teller
windows are open!
LEO
Make a recommendation by the end of the day.
TOBY
Yeah.
They stop walking.
LEO
[to Josh] What are you smiling at?
JOSH
Nothing, I just... Toby got the stamp assignment. [chuckles]
TOBY
Leo, I might need some help.
LEO
Take Josh. [goes into an office]
TOBY
Thanks. [to Josh] Congratulations, you're choosing the next stamp. [leaves Josh alone]
JOSH
Wow, that happened fast.
CUT TO: INT. C.J.’S OFFICE - DAY
C.J. comes out of her office to Carol’s desk.
C.J.
687 days.
CAROL
Yeah!
C.J. goes back in her office as Toby enters.
TOBY
Hey, Carol.
CAROL
Hey, Toby.
C.J.
[comes out of her office again] A Martian year is 687 days.
TOBY
Yes. [clears throat] Did you see this morning's news report?
C.J.
I'm boning up on my Mars. [Both enter her office.]
TOBY
C.J.?
C.J.
[walks over to desk and sits] He thinks he's so smart just because, you know, he's so smart.
TOBY
Did you see this morning's...?
C.J.
Of course I saw the news report! I highlighted your copy!
TOBY
You didn't highlight the green bean story!
C.J.
No, I thought it was best just to alert Justice Department Officials.
TOBY
[quoting] "An unnamed White House source..."
C.J.
I read the story. I just didn't highlight it.
TOBY
You don't think this is gonna get picked up?
C.J.
No.
TOBY
Why not?
C.J.
It is absolutely not a story!
TOBY
Come see me in three hours.
C.J.
It's not a story!
TOBY
See me in three hours.
C.J.
How many moons does Mars have?
TOBY
Two. Phobos and Deimos, the two horses that pulled his chariot.
C.J.
Get out! [gets up]
TOBY
[leaving] Three hours!
C.J.
[calls] Carol!
CAROL
Yeah?
TOBY
She wants information on green beans.
C.J.
[walking out of office] You have work to do?
TOBY
I'm picking a stamp!
C.J.
Nobody likes people who know everything!
TOBY
So I've discovered in my life!
C.J.
[whispers to Carol] Get me information on green beans.
CUT TO: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE COLONNADE - DAY
Bartlet and Charlie are walking along.
CHARLIE
Most of the afternoon's blocked off for budget meetings. Three O'clock is HUD, 3:30 is Health
and Human Services, Four, interior and 4:30 Agriculture.
They enter the OUTER OVAL OFFICE.
MRS. LANDINGHAM
Good Afternoon Mr. President.
BARTLET
Yeah. What else?
They finally reach THE OVAL OFFICE.
CHARLIE
Five is a reception for the U.A.W., and then you've got phone calls from 5:30 to 6:30.
BARTLET
Okay, but then, let's bring the curtain down. I got a great night planned. I got two books
on Mars and one on Galileo himself. I'm gonna go to the Residence and read.
CHARLIE
Sir...
BARTLET
[calls] Mrs. Landingham! [approaches Mrs. Landingham’s desk]
MRS. LANDINGHAM
Yes, sir?
BARTLET
Nothing after 6:30. I'm gonna go to the Residence and read about Mars, which while colder
and drier, has four Earth-like seasons.
MRS. LANDINGHAM
No sir.
BARTLET
It does!
MRS. LANDINGHAM
I'm sure you're right. But I'm saying no, you won't be reading tonight. You're attending a
concert at the Kennedy Center.
BARTLET
Since when?
MRS. LANDINGHAM
Mr. McGarry's office put it on your schedule.
BARTLET
Get me Leo!
He walks back into THE OVAL OFFICE.
CHARLIE
I was about to tell you. Apparently, it's important that you go.
BARTLET
To a concert?
CHARLIE
Yes sir.
BARTLET
Did Buddy Holly come back?
CHARLIE
It's the Reykjavik Symphony Orchestra.
BARTLET
The Reykjavik Symphony Orchestra?
CHARLIE
Yes sir.
BARTLET
[yelling] Leo!
CHARLIE
It's in Iceland.
BARTLET
I know where Reykjavik is, Charlie. I wish I was there right now.
LEO
[enters from his office] Yes, Mr. President?
BARTLET
The Reykjavik Symphony Orchestra?
LEO
I hear they're pretty good.
BARTLET
Why do I...?
LEO
Because you canceled yesterday's meeting with the Icelandic Ambassador.
BARTLET
I'm being punished.
LEO
No, sir. Iceland is considering defying the ban on whale hunting, imposed by the International
Whaling Commission. They're in danger of joining Norway and Japan. There's a lucrative
international demand for fresh Icelandic mink whale meat.
BARTLET
Is this a joke?
LEO
No sir. Needless to say both the State Department and the Fishery Subdivision of the
Department of Agriculture feel that we shouldn't do anything to offend Iceland right now.
BARTLET
Which we did, by canceling the meeting yesterday.
LEO
Apparently.
BARTLET
So to make up for it, I'm going to see the Reykjavik Symphony.
LEO
Yes, sir.
BARTLET
With, uh, Ambassador...
LEO
Vigdis Olafsdottir.
BARTLET
Okay.
Mrs. Landingham enters with papers for Bartlet and leaves.
LEO
He's very excited to meet you.
BARTLET
I'll give you a thousand dollars if you don't make me go.
LEO
Think of the whales.
BARTLET
Do they vote?
CHARLIE
Mr. President?
BARTLET
Yeah.
CHARLIE
Intelligence briefing.
BARTLET
Send them in.
Three Intelligence officers enter.
LEO
This might be something.
BARTLET
Why?
LEO
There was an explosion in a Russian oil refinery.
BARTLET
Ah.
JACK
Good Afternoon Mr. President.
BARTLET
Hey, Jack. Charlie.
CHARLIE
Yes sir.
BARTLET
Gentlemen, please.
Charlie leaves as everyone sits.
BARTLET
There was an explosion?
JACK
Well, INTARTASS is reporting that there is a fire burning in an oil refinery in Kozelsk.
LEO
It's in the Oblast region?
JACK
Yeah.
BARTLET
What's the problem Jack?
INTELLIGENCE OFFICER 1
There is no oil refinery in Kozelsk.
LEO
Oh man.
INTELLIGENCE OFFICER 2
The closest oil refinery is about twenty kilometers southeast.
BARTLET
It's not a refinery fire?
LEO
It's a missile silo.
BARTLET
There was an explosion in a missile silo?
JACK
We can't confirm that at this point, but the Russians have twenty SS19's in the quadrant
and Keyhole has pictures of a column of smoke, emergency personnel on the ground, but no
burning structure. Certainly no oil refinery.
BARTLET
If a missile exploded, is it possible it was armed? Was there a warhead?
JACK
We can put together a briefing for you in an hour.
LEO
Half hour, Jack.
Jack looks at one of the other officers, then nods at Leo.
BARTLET
Thank you.
JACK
Thank you, sir.
The Intelligence officers exit.
BARTLET
Did they really think we weren't gonna see it, Leo?
LEO
It's a cold war mentality.
BARTLET
If they asked, we could help.
LEO
I wouldn't wait for the phone to ring.
BARTLET
Yeah. Yeah. Galileo Galilei. He sat in a cathedral in Pisa. He watched a lamp suspended from
the ceiling as it oscillated back and forth. He used his pulse to keep time and discovered
that the period of oscillation was independent of the size of the arc. A few years later he
contradicted the theory that a heavier body falls faster than a lighter one. Which took some
guts back in 1609, when you consider that the theory he was contradicting was Aristotle's.
LEO
You want a broader theme for the classroom?
BARTLET
[calls] Charlie! [to Leo] I really do. Have Sam and C.J. come along tonight.
LEO
I'll be in my office.
BARTLET
Thanks.
Leo goes to his office as Charlie enters.
CHARLIE
Yes sir?
BARTLET
He contradicted Aristotle, Charlie.
Mrs. Landingham enters with papers for Bartlet to sign.
CHARLIE
And saw the rings on Saturn.
BARTLET
Yes, he did.
CHARLIE
Did you need something, sir?
BARTLET
Yes. What's next?
CHARLIE
Deputy Secretary...
Mrs. Landingham leaves the Oval Office, shutting the door.
FADE OUT.
END ACT ONE
* * *
ACT TWO
FADE IN: INT. JOSH’S OFFICE - DAY
Donna is going over the stamp assignment with Josh, who is staring into space.
DONNA
[reading] “The process by which a stamp enters into circulation begins with the American people.”
JOSH
What?
DONNA
Are you even listening?
JOSH
No.
DONNA
Do you want to do this or not?
JOSH
I don’t.
DONNA
I did index cards.
JOSH
How many?
DONNA
87.
JOSH
Reduce it to 3.
DONNA
Philately’s fun, Josh.
JOSH
I’m sorry. What’s fun?
DONNA
Philately -- stamp collecting.
JOSH
Careful how you say that cause...
DONNA
Can we work?
JOSH
Tell me what you know.
DONNA
[reading] The process by which a stamp enters circulation begins with the American Public...
JOSH
Well, that’s always our first mistake.
DONNA
“About 50,000 proposals a year are submitted to the Citizens Stamp Advisory Committee, the
acronym for which is...”
JOSH
Dork squad?
DONNA
“C-SAC. The committee then makes a recommendation to the postmaster general -- in this case,
Marcus Aquino. He won the Silver Star for Service in Korea. There are numerous instances listed
here of lifesaving valor and actions well above and beyond the call of duty. As Puerto Rico’s
resident commissioner, he served Congress faithfully and well.” Let’s put him on a stamp.
JOSH
Let’s put you on a stamp.
DONNA
Okay.
JOSH
Let’s talk about the problem.
CUT TO: INT. TOBY’S OFFICE - DAY
C.J. is hovering outside Toby’s office. She then walks in with a fake smile on her face.
C.J.
Toby.
TOBY
[turns and looks at his clock] Two hours and 20 minutes.
C.J.
Yes. Let me say first that you were right and I was wrong.
TOBY
And the odds makers take a beating.
C.J.
When I said before no one was going to pick it up?
TOBY
Yes?
C.J.
Everybody’s picked it up.
TOBY
Yes.
C.J.
And when I said that even if they did, it wouldn’t be a big deal?
TOBY
Yes?
C.J.
Turns out, it’s a bit of a deal.
TOBY
Yes.
C.J.
You know where?
TOBY
In Oregon?
C.J.
In Oregon. You know why?
TOBY
Because they’re a major producer of green beans?
C.J.
They’re a huge producer, Toby. Green beans, or snap beans, represent a significant percentage
of Oregon’s annual revenue. But here’s the thing... [starts to sit]
TOBY
There’s an electoral problem?
C.J.
[standing back up] There’s an electoral problem. We won Oregon by less than 10,000 votes and
we’re going to need them.
TOBY
[smiles knowingly] Yeah.
C.J.
Okay, well, I’m on it now. [turns to leave]
TOBY
Good.
C.J. turns to face Toby at the door of his office.
C.J.
So, you know what? It took me two hours and 20 minutes longer to figure it out than it took you.
That doesn’t make you smarter than me.
TOBY
Of course not.
C.J.
Thank you. [starts to walk out again]
TOBY
My S.A.T. scores, on the other hand...
C.J.
[looks at him] I’ve got to go start spinning the green bean problem.
TOBY
Knock ’em dead.
C.J. walks out into the COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE and runs into Leo.
LEO
C.J.
C.J.
I had fine S.A.T. scores.
The two starts to walk out to the HALLWAY.
LEO
The President wants you to go with him tonight to the Kennedy Center.
C.J.
Why?
LEO
He wants to discuss a theme for the closed-circuit classroom tomorrow morning.
C.J.
[puzzled] A theme?
LEO
Yeah.
C.J.
We’re landing a probe on Mars.
LEO
Yeah.
C.J.
That’s the theme.
LEO
He wants to discuss a broader theme. And he wants Sam there too.
C.J.
Who else?
LEO
That’s it. Oh and Mallory’s going. You, Sam, Mallory, the President and an Icelandic delegation.
C.J.
[stops walking near her office] Hang on.
LEO
What?
C.J.
I can’t go.
LEO
Why not?
C.J.
There’ll be State Department people there.
LEO
Yeah?
C.J.
I just added a new deputy. Most of the people I interviewed were from State. The Kennedy
Center is going to be packed to the Potomac with people I just rejected.
LEO
So is the bar at the Four Seasons. What do I...?
C.J.
Leo!
LEO
Be there. Tell Sam.
C.J.
[yells down the hall] Carol!
CAROL
Yeah?
C.J.
Would you have somebody go to my apartment and pick up my blue Armani?
CAROL
Yeah.
C.J.
And a pair of shoes.
CAROL
Yeah.
Sam walks by, and C.J. runs after him.
C.J.
Sam?
SAM
Yeah.
C.J.
The President wants us to go to the Kennedy Center concert tonight so we can discuss broader
themes for the televised classroom.
SAM
Great!
C.J.
Great?
SAM
It should be about more than rocks and average rainfall.
C.J.
Oh God, does it rain on Mars?
SAM
No, but I’m saying....
C.J.
The White House should develop a broader theme.
SAM
[smiling] That’s right and I think it’s incredible the President’s asked the two of us.
It’s a privilege and we should attack with energy due the moment.
C.J.
Mallory’s going to be there.
SAM
[looks alarmed] I can’t go.
C.J.
[mocking him] God, Sam, I would think that faced with the privilege of attacking with
energy due the moment...
SAM
Screw the moment. I can’t go.
C.J.
Well, I’m afraid -- as we used to say in my hometown -- that’s just hard cheese.
SAM
That’s a real Algonquin Round Table you grew up with, C.J.
C.J.
Hey, that is like the fourth time I’ve been called dumb today.
SAM
[stops walking] I never called her after the picture... [pause]
...of me and Laurie in the newspaper. I never called her and she never called me.
C.J.
You haven’t spoken to her since the picture?
SAM
No.
C.J.
What about the shooting? You didn’t see her at the hospital?
SAM
No. I mean, I did, but no. She started seeing someone else.
C.J.
Sam, didn’t I tell you not to get a crush on the boss’ daughter? [starts walking again]
SAM
Yeah. Don’t you have a vegetable crisis to fix or something?
C.J.
Yes.
SAM
Okay.
CUT TO: INT. THE SITUATION ROOM - DAY
Bartlet, Leo, the Joint Chiefs, and other officers are already inside.
OFFICER
The warhead didn’t detonate. The SS-19s had just been downloaded.
LEO
But you’re ready to confirm...
OFFICER
An SS-19 Stiletto Intercontinental Ballistic Missile blew up in its silo? Yes.
BARTLET
What do you think happened?
OFFICER
Mr. President, every morning at your intelligence briefing 7 days a week you’re told about the
troubling state of the Russian military. I think you just saw evidence of it.
LEO
You think somebody screwed up?
OFFICER
I think either somebody screwed up or a computer did. You wanna know the truth? I think an
early warning ballistic missile system and the troops running it mistakenly detected a bogey
from a flock of Norwegian geese.
An aide hands Bartlet a note.
BARTLET
Where are we with the Russian ambassador?
FEMALE OFFICER
She’s still claiming it’s an oil refinery fire.
BARTLET
Leo, I want you to see her as soon as she can get here. Thank you everybody.
AIDES AND OFFICERS
Thank you, Mr. President.
They rise to leave as Bartlet reads the note. He looks up at Leo.
BARTLET
Leo?
He hands the note to Leo, who reads it.
LEO
[to another military officer] Mike?
MIKE
Yeah?
LEO
Can you have the President’s NASA Advisor come over?
MIKE
Yeah, can I tell him why?
BARTLET
We lost the signal from Galileo.
We then close up on the wall computer screen with several messages of the Galileo V
communications failure.
FADE OUT.
END ACT TWO
* * *
ACT THREE
FADE IN: INT. JOSH’S BULLPEN AREA - NIGHT
Donna and Josh are still on the stamp assignment.
DONNA
[irritated] It’s a stamp!
JOSH
Yes, but we have to remain neutral.
DONNA
[louder] It’s a stamp!
JOSH
I understand that it’s a stamp but I’m saying when it comes to statehood for Puerto Rico,
the United States has to remain neutral.
DONNA
Puerto Rico’s in the United States.
JOSH
Once again, thanks for that review of fifth grade social studies. But I meant the federal
government must remain neutral.
DONNA
Puerto Rico is in the federal government.
JOSH
No, it’s not.
DONNA
They send a resident commissioner to Congress.
JOSH
Who can’t vote. But that’s beside the point.
DONNA
What is the point?
JOSH
[walks to the copy machine] Aquino was strongly in favor of statehood. To put his face on a
stamp would be promoting his beliefs. We can’t do that.
DONNA
Because we have to remain neutral?
JOSH
Yes.
DONNA
That’s idiotic.
JOSH
Oh, like it’s the first time.
DONNA
He voiced an opinion so he can’t be on a stamp?
JOSH
[sighs]
Donna.
He turns to walk down the hall. Donna follows him.
DONNA
Sides have been taken: former Presidents, the Speaker, Minority Leader. They all said that
statehood is in the long-term interest of Puerto Rico and that, as it stands, 3.8 million
American citizens have been relegated to second-class status! That’s more people than Mississippi!
Josh has poured himself a cup of coffee and stirs it.
JOSH
Mississippi’s never minded being relegated to second-class status.
DONNA
Oh you’re going to make your little bigoted Mississippi jokes?
JOSH
Yes, I am. [walks]
DONNA
Isn’t anyone worried that if they’re not given statehood, they’re going to want independence?
JOSH
Exactly no one is worried about that. You know why? [stops] Because Puerto Rico is absolutely
dependent on U.S. manufacturing, which contributes 40 percent to the GDP and accounts for 24
percent of their workforce.
DONNA
I don’t care! People don’t sit still for tyranny!
JOSH
How’s it tyranny?
DONNA
Puerto Ricans have to register to be drafted into the armed forces, yet they’re not allowed to
vote for President. They’re expected to die for a Commander-in-Chief they had no voice in electing?
JOSH
Donna...
DONNA
We have colonized Puerto Rico and they will rise up against us.
JOSH
I think we can take ‘em. [walks away]
DONNA
That’s what we said about the British.
JOSH
[turns to look at her] We took the British.
DONNA
You know what I’m saying.
JOSH
Hardly ever.
Toby strides down the hall quickly toward Josh.
TOBY
Josh...
JOSH
What’s going on?
TOBY
They know it entered the Martian atmosphere at 3:01 p.m. Eastern, which it was supposed to do.
He follows Josh to the copy machine and to JOSH’S OFFICE.
TOBY
They know it was on course traveling at a rate of 15,400 miles per hour, which it was supposed to.
Somewhere during its descent it was also supposed to release two probes -- each about the size of
a basketball -- firing them deep into the ground as part of the mission’s search for evidence of
water under surface.
JOSH
We think if we hit the ground hard enough, we can make it to the center of the planet and find
water?
TOBY
Yeah.
JOSH
That’s not a theory of physics pretty much disproved by Wile E. Coyote?
TOBY
The probes were supposed to send a signal back to Earth through the Global Surveyor Orbiter.
JOSH
And we haven’t gotten the signal?
TOBY
The last the flight controllers heard from Galileo was 11 minutes before landing, when all
systems were operating normally. Then it entered what they call a communications blackout
period and it hasn’t been heard from since. [beat] I know how it feels.
JOSH
What are they trying?
TOBY
They’re... uh... trying the things they try. I’m going to give it an hour and then tell Leo
we got to cancel the classroom.
DONNA
[from the other room] Josh!
JOSH
Yeah?
DONNA
The stamp?
JOSH
[to Toby] You were supposed to do this, you know.
TOBY
I delegated.
JOSH
Yeah.
Toby comes out of Josh’s office. He walks down the HALLWAY and sees C.J. coming out of her
office wearing her blue Armani evening gown.
TOBY
C.J.?
C.J.
I’m late.
TOBY
Where are you going?
C.J.
I have to go to the Kennedy Center to be with people who don’t like me.
TOBY
You can do that right here.
Sam walks by wearing a tuxedo. C.J. and Toby follow.
SAM
Sorry.
C.J.
We’re late.
TOBY
[to Sam] You’re going too?
C.J.
The President wants to discuss broader themes for the classroom.
TOBY
I don’t think there’s going to be a classroom.
C.J.
The President’s holding out hope.
SAM
In the meantime, Mallory’s going to be there with her boyfriend. And it’s going to be weird
because we haven’t spoken to one another since the picture, which was wrong, I know. But I’m
not even sure there was an implied obligation to do that.
C.J. stops to talk to Carol. Toby and Sam continue walking.
SAM [cont.]
Please, let’s remember, it’s not like we were dating. It was a flirtation. We had one date.
The rest were all with groups of people and...
Sam stops and Toby does too.
SAM [cont.]
I don’t know, I don’t even know what dating is anymore.
TOBY
Well, that’s 20 seconds of my life I’m never going to get back.
C.J. catches up to them and takes Sam’s hand, pulling him with her.
C.J.
Let’s go.
Toby watches them go as we stop by LEO’S OFFICE. Margaret is standing in front of the Russian
Ambassador, NADIA KOZLOWSKI who is sitting on a chair.
MARGARET
Mr. McGarry will be here in a moment.
NADIA KOZLOWSKI
Yes.
MARGARET
Yes. Are you sure I can’t get you anything?
NADIA
No, thank you.
MARGARET
[pauses and then nods] I’ll be waiting outside then. If you need anything, please don’t
hesitate to shout my name, which is Margaret. [holds her hand to her chest]
NADIA
Yes.
Margaret walks into her office and sees Leo entering.
MARGARET
The Russian ambassador is here.
LEO
Thanks.
MARGARET
I left her alone cause I think I was freaking her out.
LEO
[dryly] It wouldn’t surprise me.
He enters his office and greets his guest, who stands and smiles.
LEO
Madame Ambassador.
NADIA
Leo.
LEO
Thank you for coming. [shakes her hand]
NADIA
You look handsome, Leo.
LEO
[walks to his desk] Thank you. You look very nice.
NADIA
You get more handsome every year. And you’re having your suits handmade now.
LEO
Nadia, are you hitting on me?
NADIA
I was sorry to hear about your divorce.
LEO
[irritated] You have a fire in a missile silo.
NADIA
It is an oil refinery.
Leo grabs a folder and holds it up as he walks toward her.
LEO
These are Keyhole satellite photographs. Would you point, please, to the oil refinery in
these pictures?
NADIA
I’m not at liberty to comment on matters of national security.
LEO
Can you tell me how an oil refinery explosion would affect national security?
NADIA
This is really a matter to be taken up with the Foreign Minister.
LEO
No, I’m taking it up with the Russian Ambassador to the United States. Is your country ready
to deny an explosion at Sego Silo 14-D? [pause] We know how to deal with these kinds of
emergencies. We have guys who train for it all the time. Ask us for help.
CUT TO: INT. THE PRESIDENT’S LIMOUSINE - NIGHT
Bartlet and Charlie, in tuxedos, are riding inside.
BARTLET
Do you know what they’re playing?
CHARLIE
I’m sorry, sir?
BARTLET
The Reykjavik Symphony. Do we know what they’re playing and for how long they’re playing it?
CHARLIE
[looking at program] It says here “an evening of modern music.”
BARTLET
Turn the car around.
CHARLIE
[reading] “The orchestra features 90 pieces, including anvils and castanets.”
BARTLET
Turn the car around.
CHARLIE
Modern music is cool.
BARTLET
Modern music sucks. Anything written after 1860 sucks.
CHARLIE
[reading] “Samuel Barber, Symphony No. 2.”
BARTLET
Sucks.
CHARLIE
[reading] “Stravinsky, Variations on a Theme.”
BARTLET
Sucks.
CHARLIE
[reading] “Schoenberg, Enlightened Night for String Orchestra.”
BARTLET
Totally blows.
CHARLIE
[reading] “After intermission, they’ll be performing the world premiere of a piece...”
BARTLET
Played on teapots and gefilte fish.
CHARLIE
[reading] “...by a new Icelandic composer.” They told me he got so nervous when he heard you
were coming that he was rewriting the piece until 6 o’clock.
BARTLET
If he wants more time, I’d be happy to take a rain check.
CHARLIE
I thought you liked classical music.
BARTLET
This is not classical music. It is not classical music if the guy finished writing it this
afternoon.
Charlie smiles.
CUT TO: INT. THE KENNEDY CENTER LOADING DOCK - CONTINUOUS
The limousine arrives at the Kennedy Center and goes underground to the loading dock. Secret
Service Agents are everywhere, securing the area. Charlie gets out of the limousine and comes
around to the President’s door. Bartlet gets out and walks up the ramp with Charlie and several
Agents. He sees C.J. walking out into the loading area.
BARTLET
C.J.!
C.J.
Yes, sir.
BARTLET
A broader theme.
C.J.
Sam and I will be talking about it.
She joins Bartlet and Charlie and walks back inside.
BARTLET
I don’t get that many opportunities to talk with kids.
C.J.
Sir, at some point, I’m going to have to pull the plug to give everyone enough notice.
BARTLET
Yeah, but let’s let 'em work for a while.
C.J.
Yes, sir.
BARTLET
Where’s Sam?
C.J.
Upstairs hiding from Mallory.
The group gets inside freight elevator.
BARTLET
Why is he hiding from Mallory?
C.J.
Do you really want to know?
BARTLET
Not at all.
C.J.
I didn’t think so.
The elevator rises.
CUT TO: INT. THE KENNEDY CENTER - FRONT BALCONY - NIGHT
Sam is leaning over the balcony near the box seats in the Kennedy Center. He is holding a
flute of champagne in his hand. There are dozens of people walking, talking and drinking in
the balcony area.
FIRST MAN
Hey, Sam.
Sam smiles at him.
SECOND MAN
How you doing, Sam?
SAM
Pretty good.
THIRD MAN
Hey, Sam.
SAM
Benny.
Sam turns and sips his champagne. A voice comes from behind him.
MALLORY
Hey, Sam.
Sam turns quickly to look at Mallory.
MALLORY
How you doing?
SAM
I’m good.
MALLORY
Good.
Sam looks around for a place to put his half-empty flute. He finally throws it in a garbage
basket behind him.
SAM
And you?
MALLORY
Good.
SAM
Excellent. [pauses, then speaks quickly] Can I just say that I was the one who was in trouble?
I was the one under siege. It was my picture in the paper. And, I don’t know why I need to call
you and explain myself.
MALLORY
It was a picture of you and a call girl.
SAM
[flustered and defensive] Oh, like there aren’t any pictures of you and a call girl.
MALLORY
No, there aren’t any pictures of me and a call girl.
SAM
Well, that’s a crime.
MALLORY
You know, if you had just picked up the phone...
SAM
[interrupts] Yeah. Yeah. Who’s your boyfriend?
MALLORY
I don’t think...
SAM
What’s his name?
MALLORY
His name is Richard Andrewchuk.
SAM
There’s a hockey player named Richard Andrewchuk.
MALLORY
Well, unless there’s two of them...
SAM
You’re dating Richard Andrewchuk?
MALLORY
Yes and we’re having quite a lot of sex.
SAM
I think you’d almost have to.
MALLORY
What does that mean?
SAM
What do you and Richard Andrewchuk have to talk about?
MALLORY
He happens to be a terribly bright guy.
SAM
Well good, because he’s a really bad hockey player.
MALLORY
He’s had injury problems this season.
SAM
From falling down.
MALLORY
Look, I came over here to....
WOMAN
Excuse me.
The woman interrupts them, hands Sam a note and whispers to him. Sam reads the note and walks
away without a word from Mallory.
CUT TO: INT. KENNEDY CENTER - NIGHT
In another section of the balcony, Bartlet is talking to two members of the Icelandic delegation.
He is walking them towards the box area.
BARTLET
I took trombone lessons when I was a kid. Not much solo music written for the trombone,
but I wanted to play in the marching band.
They walk past Charlie and into the box reception area.
BARTLET [cont.]
The thing was my arms were too short to reach seventh position.
One of his companions laughs. Sam arrives and stands near Charlie, waiting for Bartlet.
BARTLET
One afternoon, during the game, I gave it all I had and ended up throwing the slide into the
end zone, which is more than I can say for our quarterback.
They laugh again, and Bartlet notices Sam.
BARTLET
Would you excuse me just one moment?
He walks out to Sam and they move away from the box area.
BARTLET
Galileo?
SAM
No, sir, the oil refinery.
BARTLET
Yeah, what?
SAM
You’re going to need a briefing from the Pentagon, sir.
Bartlet shakes his head to indicate he doesn’t understand.
SAM
The explosion occurred while liquid nitrogen was being drained.
BARTLET
[pauses and sighs] Okay. [beat] What about Galileo?
SAM
They’re working on it.
BARTLET
Okay.
SAM
I’ll get a statement ready.
BARTLET
Yeah. [beat] Somebody was draining hydrogen?
SAM
Yeah.
Charlie steps down to Sam and Bartlet.
CHARLIE
Mr. President?
BARTLET
Yeah?
CHARLIE
Your box is ready.
BARTLET
Thanks.
He nods at Sam and walks into the box. The camera focuses on the Presidential seal over
the doorway to the box.
FADE OUT.
END ACT THREE
* * *
ACT FOUR
FADE IN: INT. KENNEDY CENTER - NIGHT
C.J. comes out of Bartlet’s box, where a woman, phone in hand is waiting for her. C.J. passes
the two agents standing outside and takes the phone from the woman.
WOMAN
Toby Ziegler.
C.J.
Thanks.
WOMAN
You’ll need to take this outside.
C.J.
Yeah.
As C.J. passes by, Charlie, who was waiting outside, goes to follow her.
CUT TO: INT. KENNEDY CENTER - FRONT STAIRS - CONTINUOUS
C.J. goes down the red-carpeted flight of stairs, with Charlie following behind.
CHARLIE
C.J.?
C.J.
They said modern music. I thought they meant, you know, Jackson Browne.
CHARLIE
Jackson Browne is modern?
C.J.
He used to be.
CHARLIE
Yeah. Look...
C.J.
Yeah.
CHARLIE
Twice a year, the White House kitchen staff has writers come in from food magazines.
C.J.
Yeah.
CHARLIE
They were in last week, and I mentioned to one of them...
C.J.
Charlie...
CHARLIE
I said the President doesn’t like green beans.
C.J. stops at her tracks and turns around.
C.J.
Why?
CHARLIE
‘Cause he doesn’t.
C.J.
How did you say it?
CHARLIE
What do you mean?
C.J.
What question did they ask?
CHARLIE
Is there any food he particularly likes or dislikes? I said the President likes steaks.
He likes lobster. He likes spaghetti. He likes ice cream.
C.J.
And?
CHARLIE
He doesn’t like green beans.
C.J.
Did you leave any wiggle room?
CHARLIE
Wiggle room? What the hell, C.J.? He doesn’t like green beans.
C.J.
We won Oregon by 10,000 votes. I don’t know how many green bean farmers they have out there,
but if there are 10,001...
CHARLIE
C.J....
C.J.
This is a serious thing now.
CHARLIE
Well, I’m sorry I mouthed off to a reporter, but you’re out of your mind.
C.J.
No, I...
CHARLIE
Education’s a serious thing. Crime, jobs, national security. In 18 months, I’ve been to
Oregon four times, and not a single person I’ve met there has been stupid.
C.J.
Everybody’s stupid in an election year, Charlie.
CHARLIE
No. Everybody gets treated stupid in an election year, C.J.
C.J.
[beat] All right. Look, just, from now on, there’s no food the President doesn’t like, okay?
CHARLIE
Yeah.
C.J.
I have to take this outside.
CHARLIE
Yeah.
C.J. heads out, and Charlie goes the other way.
CUT TO: INT. TOBY’S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Toby is on the phone with C.J.
C.J. [VO]
Can you hear me?
TOBY
Where are you right now?
CUT TO: EXT. KENNEDY CENTER - SIDE TERRACE - CONTINUOUS
C.J. comes out of the building into the quiet terrace, where several people are hanging out.
She is now talking to Toby on the cell phone.
C.J.
I’m out in back. I’m on the terrace. I passed Gary Saunders on the way out. He booed me.
I swear to God. I passed by. He went “boo!”
TOBY [VO]
Who’s Gary Saunders?
C.J.
He’s the Deputy Spokesperson at the Department of Energy.
TOBY [VO]
You didn’t hire him?
C.J.
I promoted Simon Glazer. I promoted from within, Toby.
TOBY
Anyway, they’re hypothesizing that the thing came down at an odd angle, and that its position
might be preventing the antennae from establishing a downlink. They say it’ll take a few days
to try everything they want to try.
C.J.
Days?
TOBY [VO]
Yeah.
C.J. sees someone behind her and quickly looks away.
C.J.
Oh, God.
TOBY
[with a chuckle] Look, if this is the worst thing that happens...
C.J.
No. Tad Whitney’s coming over to me.
TOBY [VO]
You interviewed Tad?
C.J.
Oh, God. He’s got me in his tractor beams. He’s walking right over.
TOBY [VO]
[hurriedly] Goodbye.
C.J.
I’m not very good at confrontation.
TOBY
You have no problem with me.
C.J.
This time of year, is the water in the Potomac very, very cold?
TOBY
Yeah, but if you rub chicken fat all over yourself, it’ll insulate.
C.J.
Don’t hang up. If it seems like I’m talking...
Toby has stopped listening and hangs up the phone. C.J. shakes her head, as TAD WHITNEY
comes up behind her.
TAD WHITNEY
Hey, C.J.
C.J. holds up her index finger, pretending to talk to someone on the cell phone.
C.J.
Yeah, okay. Well, we’re gonna put those figures out at the morning briefing... Yeah. Thank you.
[hangs up]
TAD
What was that about?
C.J.
I... you know... I honestly couldn’t tell you.
TAD
I saw you come out.
C.J.
Yeah. There’s some stuff going on.
TAD
I didn’t get the gig, huh?
C.J.
I gave it to Simon Glazer.
TAD
I heard.
C.J.
I promoted from within.
TAD
Yeah.
C.J.
Promoting from within is very big in my family.
TAD
Yeah. I’m surprised ‘cause I’m pretty qualified. In fact, there’s a lot of people at State
who thought I was a lock.
C.J.
You’re very qualified.
TAD
Yeah. And it wasn’t because I’m a man.
C.J.
Well, no. Simon Glazer’s a man.
TAD
I suppose.
C.J.
Hey!
TAD
And it wasn’t because I stopped seeing you.
C.J.
Tad, it honestly was a matter of Simon... [beat] No! Of course it didn’t have anything to
do with... That was six weeks, five years ago.
TAD
Because I thought you might want an explanation as to why I did.
C.J.
Why you did what?
TAD
Why I stopped calling you.
C.J.
I don’t need an explanation.
TAD
Believe me, it wasn’t because you were bad in bed or anything like that.
C.J.
No, I didn’t think it was, Tad.
TAD
I mentioned it because I know a lot of women who worry about that.
C.J.
I don’t.
TAD
You’re good in bed.
C.J.
I’m great in bed!
Three men near them heard C.J.’s remark and looks at her.
C.J.
[to the men] How you doing?
TAD
C.J....
C.J.
Tad, you know, I’m sorry you didn’t get the job, but there’s really no...
TAD
You’re really gonna stand there and tell me this isn’t personal?
C.J.
I really am.
TAD
I think it is. I think it’s personal, and I think it’s unprofessional. And I think people
are gonna know about this. And I think you’ve got a problem now.
C.J.
I have a number of problems today, and you’re not close to being any of them.
TAD
Well, I was hoping we could be adult about this.
C.J.
I have to go. You’re gonna get a briefing in about an hour.
C.J. starts to head back to the building.
TAD
On what?
C.J.
A Russian missile silo.
TAD
Listen. Um...
C.J.
Yeah?
TAD
Playing along with this for a moment... Is there anything I should do to prove my chances
next time around?
C.J.
Well, when we run for reelection, I’d vote for somebody else.
C.J. turns around and heads back.
CUT TO: EXT. OUTSIDE THE KENNEDY CENTER - NIGHT
Sam, sitting on the passenger seat of the open car, talks to Josh on the phone.
SAM
Can you read the last part back to me?
JOSH
“The flight manager at J.P.L. will be working round the clock until all hope is exhausted.”
SAM
Okay.
JOSH
I’ll give it to Carol.
SAM
Yeah.
JOSH [VO]
Is she there?
SAM
Mallory?
JOSH [VO]
Yeah.
SAM
Yeah, she’s here. She snuck up on me from behind. You’d think women would make more noise
with their big high heels, but they don’t. They got this stealth thing going, which I really
ought to be clever enough--
Mallory appears on the other side of the car and taps on the window. Sam looks, but quickly
turns away, a little surprised.
SAM
Oh my God.
JOSH [VO]
What was that?
SAM
Nothing.
JOSH [VO]
She’s there, right?
SAM
[stands]
Yeah.
Mallory starts to go around the car and stands in front of Sam.
JOSH
How’s she look?
SAM
She looks pretty good.
JOSH
Can you describe what she’s wearing?
SAM
Well, yeah, ‘cause she’s standing right in front of me.
JOSH
So you want to get off the phone?
SAM
Yeah.
JOSH
Okay. [hangs up]
MALLORY
You know what I think?
SAM
What?
MALLORY
I think you’re caught between wanting to be mad, and wanting good seats for home games.
SAM
I get pretty good seats as it is, Mallory. I don’t know if you noticed the motorcade I
rode over in.
MALLORY
I talked to my dad. I’m sorry about Galileo.
SAM
They’ve got a lot of tests they can still try.
MALLORY
How much money is it gonna cost to try them?
SAM
Don’t start with me.
MALLORY
I’m asking as a taxpayer. It cost 165 million dollars to lose the thing. How much more money
is it gonna cost to make sure you’re never gonna find it?
SAM
I don’t know, Mallory, but we certainly won’t divert any municipal tax dollars, which are
always best spent on new hockey arenas.
MALLORY
No, it’s best spent feeding, housing and educating.
SAM
There are a lot of hungry people in the world, Mal, and none of them are hungry because we
went to the moon. None of them are colder, and certainly none of them are dumber ‘cause we
went to the moon.
MALLORY
And we went to the moon. Do we really have to go to Mars?
SAM
Yes.
MALLORY
Why?
SAM
‘Cause it’s next. For we came out of the cave, and we looked over the hill, and we saw fire.
And we crossed the ocean, and we pioneered the West, and we took to the sky. The history of
man is hung on the timeline of exploration, and this is what’s next.
MALLORY
I know.
SAM
People like you, who say that... [beat] What?
MALLORY
I said I know. We’re supposed to be explorers.
SAM
Then what the hell?
MALLORY
I just want to hear you talk about it.
SAM
You know something?
MALLORY
You get all puffed up.
SAM
You’re a pain in the ass.
MALLORY
Yes.
SAM
Anyway... look, about the picture...
MALLORY
Don’t worry about it.
SAM
You’re not pissed?
MALLORY
I’m totally pissed, but I’m saying don’t worry about it tonight.
C.J.
[walks up] Sam?
SAM
Yeah? [to Mallory] I appreciate that. Thank you.
MALLORY
Yeah.
C.J.
Hey, Mal.
MALLORY
Hey, C.J.
C.J.
[to Sam] Let me see what you got.
SAM
This’ll be for tonight’s briefing, but doesn’t include the notes from J.P.L.
C.J.
Can I talk to Jason Stark?
SAM
Yeah.
CUT TO: INT. JOSH’S BULLPEN AREA - NIGHT
DONNA
[yells] Aha!
Josh sees Donna stand up and shout with her arms raised.
JOSH
What you got there?
DONNA
Precedent, baby!
JOSH
Precedent?
DONNA
Precedent. The mother’s milk of you know, making your point and being right.
JOSH
Okay.
DONNA
The Jewish War Veterans lobbied to get a stamp, even though the criteria prohibits people
or groups whose principal undertakings are religious.
JOSH
Right, and what happened?
DONNA
The J.W.V. argues that their principal achievements have been fighting wars for their
country, just like Aquino.
JOSH
Right. What happened?
DONNA
They were denied.
JOSH
Yes.
DONNA
Okay. That doesn’t help me.
JOSH
No.
Josh walks away, Donna following.
DONNA
[flipping pages] Hang on!
JOSH
Look...
DONNA
The Luna Moth has its own stamp.
JOSH
What’s a Luna Moth?
DONNA
It’s a moth, and you don’t see the National Organization of Entomologists freaking out.
JOSH
No, but I’d pay good money to see that.
DONNA
[flipping pages again] Hang on. Hang on.
JOSH
Donna...
DONNA
Aha!
JOSH
Here we go.
The phone rings as Josh and Donna enter JOSH'S OFFICE.
DONNA
The following groups have been issued stamps: Disabled Veterans of America, American Confederate
Veterans, American Legion and its black soldiers who served as buffalo scouts in the West.
JOSH
Uh, are you gonna get that?
DONNA
I-I meant in the 19th century. The black soldiers from the West.
JOSH
Yeah. I didn’t think we still had buffalo scouts. [picks up phone] Josh Lyman.
DONNA
The guy should be able to be on a stamp.
JOSH
[into phone] Okay. [hangs up]
DONNA
What was that?
JOSH
The President’s back.
CUT TO: INT. LEO’S OFFICE - NIGHT
Leo’s meeting continues.
NADIA
Any inspection team will have to include neutral representatives.
LEO
Who do you want?
NADIA
The Finns.
LEO
I’ll take it to the State Department. They’re not gonna want limits on the inspection team.
NADIA
No one enters the country without our approval.
LEO
They’ll agree to notification, if not approval.
NADIA
And I’m going to insist on notification and approval. In addition, results from the inspection
will remain in the country.
LEO
Nadia...
NADIA
Leo, soil samples, carbon residue, photographs and photographic negatives...
LEO
Listen...
NADIA
All that must remain under Russian control.
President Bartlet, who has sneaked inside the office behind Nadia, slams the door behind him
and makes his presence known. Leo and the Nadia stand up.
BARTLET
[to Nadia] Your paranoia was a lot sexier back when you guys are communists.
NADIA
Mr. President. How good to see you.
BARTLET
From where do you get the nerve and try to dictate terms on this? Are you insane? Your missile
regimen is in a horrifying state of disrepair. Your best-trained operators have left or died.
The ones you’ve got aren’t paid very much when they’re paid at all. They don’t have enough to
train with. Your ICBMs are well behind their warranty life. Not seven weeks ago, you mistook
a Norwegian weather rocket for a submarine launch Trident missile because the CrossTac
information never made it to the Russian C&C system. [looks at Leo] Leo, at the time the
S.S.19 exploded, it was being drained of its liquid hydrogen in an attempt by deserting
soldiers to -- wait for it --
LEO
Steal the warhead?
BARTLET
Steal the warhead! [beat] When were you gonna tell us about that? You realize how dangerous...
NADIA
Mr. President, you shouldn’t be concerned with the welfare of the Russian people.
BARTLET
Well, I am concerned with the welfare of the Russian people, but that’s not what they pay
me for. You guys fall asleep in the switch in Minsk, and I’ve got a whole hemisphere hiding
under the bed. How do you not tell us this is going on? How do you not ask us for help?
NADIA
We’ll not need help finding the leaders of the black market network -
BARTLET
Yeah, thanks. We’re sending in NATO inspectors.
NADIA
Leo and I were just discussing the terms.
LEO
The terms are we’re sending in NATO inspectors, or he’s taking a walk to the pressroom.
BARTLET
Get your Foreign Minister on the phone.
He walks to the door and opens it, but turns around to make a point.
BARTLET
I really don’t know from where you guys get the nerve.
NADIA
From a long, hard winter, Mr. President.
A few seconds of exchanging looks, then Bartlet goes into his office.
CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
The four murmuring senior aides, Toby, C.J., Josh and Sam did not notice bartlet as he comes in.
He takes off his jacket and goes behind his desk.
BARTLET
This is still my office, right?
TOBY
Sir, we have some press things for discussion.
BARTLET
Nothing new from NASA?
SAM
They’re testing the idea that it may have turned into what’s called a “safe mode.” If it
sensed trouble, it’s programmed to turn its systems off to avoid further damage and wait
for instructions from earth.
BARTLET
Earth’s giving it instructions?
SAM
It’s not responding.
BARTLET
Like my kids. All right...
C.J.
Sir, that leaves us with the televised classroom, the green beans...
JOSH
The stamp.
C.J.
...the stamp, and depending on who those people were that were standing near me, the
possibility of a story about me being good in bed.
TOBY
[suddenly looks up] Good in bed?
C.J.
Yes.
TOBY
Why?
C.J.
Because I am.
TOBY
Okay.
BARTLET
Green beans?
TOBY
[while giving C.J. weird looks] Let’s do a photo-op with the President... eating green beans.
We can drop in a quote. He’s always looking for new green bean... recipes.
JOSH
Next time we’re in California, we schedule a pop in Oregon, make sure nothing’s burned down.
BARTLET
Yeah, okay. What about the stamp?
JOSH
Here’s the thing, the Citizen’s Stamp Advisory Committee...
C.J.
[whispers to Toby] He doesn’t like green beans.
BARTLET
What?
C.J.
I’m sorry, sir. Nothing.
JOSH
The Citizen’s Stamp Advisory Committee...
C.J.
No, I’m sorry. I said you don’t like green beans, sir.
TOBY
C.J.?
C.J.
He doesn’t enjoy them. He doesn’t think they’re bad for you, and he doesn’t think the people
who make them are evil. They’re simply not his cup of tea. He doesn’t care for them. Why do
we think the adults of Oregon would be okay with that if put to them just that way?
[turns to Josh on her left] And Josh, why do you think the people, adult Americans, why do
you think they can’t understand that we can honor a man’s contribution without necessarily
subscribing to his politics? They can understand a lot of things. People stopped trusting
the government during Vietnam, and it was because government stopped trusting them. It’s a
cautionary tale, Josh.
JOSH
[beat] Okay. I was gonna say I think we should put them on a stamp.
C.J.
Oh... Okay. Good.
JOSH
Yeah.
BARTLET
All right. Everybody go away. We’ll call you back when there’s a NASA update.
SAM
Thank you.
C.J.
Thank you, Mr. President.
JOSH
Thank you, sir.
Josh and C.J. continue to whisper to each other while walking out. Bartlet goes to a side table.
BARTLET
C.J.?
C.J. approaches.
BARTLET
Did you hear the end of the concert?
C.J.
I didn’t hear much of the concert at all. How was it?
He takes a cigar and lights it.
BARTLET
Well, first of all, let’s not kid ourselves. The Reykjavik Symphony can play. These guys have
some serious game. In this particular case, their talents were tragically misapplied to an
atonal nightmare of pretention, but after intermission...
He heads outside to the COLONNADE to smoke his cigar as C.J. follows. He walks to a pillar
and looks up to the night sky.
C.J.
After intermission?
BARTLET
They played a piece by a new composer. First, I wasn’t hearing it. I had 19 different things
on my mind, but then I did, and C.J., it was magnificent. It was genius. He built these themes,
and at the beginning, it was just an intellectual exercise, which is fun enough, I guess,
but then in the fourth movement, he just let it go. I really didn’t think I could be surprised
by music anymore. I thought about all the times this guy must’ve heard that his music was no
good... I’ve got to write this guy a letter.
C.J.
Mr. President, about that televised classroom tomorrow...
BARTLET
I’m gonna wait up for a while. See if we hear anything. It’s out there somewhere... It’s so close.
C.J.
I think you should do the classroom either way.
BARTLET
Yeah?
C.J.
We have, at our disposal, a captive audience of schoolchildren. Some of them don’t go to the
black board and raise their hand ‘cause they think they’re gonna be wrong. I think you should
say to these kids you think you get it wrong sometimes, you should come down here and see how
the big boys do it. I think you should tell them you haven’t given up hope, and that it may
turn up, but in the meantime, you want NASA to put its best people in the room, and you want
them to start building Galileo VI. Some of them will laugh, and most of them won’t care, but
for some, they might honestly see that it’s about going to the blackboard and raising your hand.
[beat] And that’s the broader theme.
BARTLET
I’ll say.
C.J.
I’ll be in my office, Mr. President.
C.J. heads back inside, turning around to the President’s call.
BARTLET
C.J.?
C.J.
Yes, sir?
BARTLET
You said it right that time.
C.J.
[with a smile] I’ll be in my office.
The Agent opens the door for C.J. as she goes back inside. Overhead, we see Bartlet
looking up at the sky again as he speaks to no one in particular.
BARTLET
Talk to us.
DISSOLVE TO: END TITLES.
FADE TO BLACK.
THE END
* * *
The West Wing and all its characters are properties of Aaron Sorkin, John Wells
roduction, Warner Brothers Television, and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended.
Episode 2.9 -- “Galileo”
Original Airdate: November 29, 2000, 9:00 P.M. EST
Transcript By: Irene, Tobyfan, LocalGomer8, and Giorgio