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  • Episode 2.10 -- “Noel”
    The West Wing Scripts/Season 2 2008. 11. 6. 17:09
    THE WEST WING
    “NOEL”
    TELEPLAY BY: AARON SORKIN
    STORY BY: PETER PARNELL
    DIRECTED BY: THOMAS SCHLAMME
    
    
    TEASER
    
    FADE IN: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE - A SECLUDED ROOM - DAY
    CHRISTMAS EVE
    Josh pushes the double doors into a slightly bright room. Waiting for him inside is the 
    scheduled therapist, DR. STANLEY KEYWORTH. In the corner of the room is KAYTHA TRASK. 
    Josh approaches them to say hello as Dr. Keyworth and Kaytha stand up.
    
    JOSH
    Hi.
    
    STANLEY KEYWORTH
    Hi, Josh.
    
    KAYTHA TRASK
    Hi.
    
    STANLEY
    I’m Stanley Keyworth. This is Kaytha Trask.
    
    JOSH
    Josh Lyman.
    
    KAYTHA
    Hi.
    
    JOSH
    Do I call you doctor?
    
    STANLEY
    I’m sorry?
    
    JOSH
    Is it Dr. Keyworth?
    
    STANLEY
    Oh, whatever you want. You can call me Stanley if you want.
    
    JOSH
    [to Kaytha] And Dr...? I’m sorry?
    
    KAYTHA
    Trask. But it’s not doctor. I’m not a psychologist.
    
    STANLEY
    [as he sits] Kaytha is, uh, training as a traumatologist.
    
    JOSH
    I was wondering why there were two of you.
    
    STANLEY
    Kaytha’s training. You don’t mind, do you?
    
    JOSH
    No.
    
    Kaytha slowly goes back to the corner to her chair. Stanley eyes Josh’s bandaged hand.
    
    STANLEY
    What happened to your hand?
    
    JOSH
    [sits] I-I uh, I cut it putting down a glass.
    
    STANLEY
    It broke?
    
    JOSH
    Yeah.
    
    STANLEY
    The glass broke?
    
    JOSH
    Yeah.
    
    Stanley writes something in one of his papers.
    
    STANLEY
    Well, uh, let me tell you about who we are.
    
    JOSH
    Sure.
    
    STANLEY
    We’re from ATVA.
    
    JOSH
    Yeah.
    
    STANLEY
    That’s the American Trauma Victims Association.
    
    JOSH
    Yeah.
    
    STANLEY
    We’re commonly called in by the government to work with trauma victims. I’ll give you 
    some examples. The pipe bomb at Lancaster Middle School. We worked with the parents and 
    the kids...
    
    JOSH
    [interrupts] Tulsa, Hurricane Beth, the Chatham fires, the Iowa tornadoes, the FBI raid 
    in Rock Creek.
    
    STANLEY
    So, you are familiar with us?
    
    JOSH
    Dr. Keyworth, I’m the Deputy White House Chief of Staff. I oversee 1100 White House 
    employees. I answer directly to Leo McGarry and the President of the United States. 
    Do you think you’re talking to the paperboy?
    
    STANLEY
    No.
    
    JOSH
    In your wildest dreams did you imagine that I’d walk in this room without knowing exactly 
    who you are and what you do?
    
    STANLEY
    No.
    
    JOSH
    Then why did you lie to me right off the bat?
    
    STANLEY
    Josh...
    
    JOSH
    [indicating Kaytha] She’s not here training!
    
    STANLEY
    As a matter of fact, she is.
    
    JOSH
    I read briefing books everyday on subjects considerably more complicated than ATVA.
    
    STANLEY
    She is here training in trauma therapy.
    
    JOSH
    Yeah, but that’s not why there are two of you.
    
    STANLEY
    No.
    
    JOSH
    That’s not the reason why there are two of you.
    
    STANLEY
    No.
    
    JOSH
    I get up, go to the bathroom, go to my office, answer the phone -- one of you watches me.
    
    STANLEY
    Yeah.
    
    JOSH
    Stanley, you got off to a bad start.
    
    STANLEY
    Yes, I did.
    
    JOSH
    Yes, you did.
    
    STANLEY
    Let’s start again.
    
    JOSH
    You gonna lie to me this time?
    
    STANLEY
    No. You gonna lie to me?
    
    JOSH
    Haven’t yet.
    
    STANLEY
    Really?
    
    JOSH
    Yeah.
    
    Stanley nods and waits a moment.
    
    STANLEY
    How did you cut your hand?
    
    Josh suddenly does not respond.
    
    STANLEY
    You’re not talking to the paperboy, either, Josh.
    
    We close in on the speechless Josh and --
    
    SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES.
    END TEASER
    * * *
    
    ACT ONE
    
    FADE IN: INT. SECLUDED ROOM - DAY
    Josh’s therapy continues.
    
    STANLEY
    I’d asked a woman for some coffee a few minutes ago. Do you want some coffee?
    
    JOSH
    No thanks.
    
    STANLEY
    Tea?
    
    JOSH
    No.
    
    STANLEY
    Maybe later.
    
    JOSH
    Yeah.
    
    STANLEY 
    The woman I asked works for you I think... Donna?
    
    JOSH
    Yeah.
    
    STANLEY
    She works for you?
    
    JOSH
    She’s my assistant.
    
    STANLEY
    Was she at Rosalyn?
    
    JOSH
    It’s Rosslyn.
    
    STANLEY
    I’m sorry?
    
    JOSH
    The shooting took place at Rosslyn, Virginia, not Rosalyn.
    
    STANLEY
    I’m sorry. I’m not from around here.
    
    JOSH
    Where are you from?
    
    STANLEY
    San Francisco, California.
    
    JOSH
    I always thought it was San Franchisco.
    
    STANLEY
    Was she with you?
    
    JOSH
    Donna?
    
    STANLEY
    Yeah.
    
    JOSH
    Nope.
    
    STANLEY
    Who was with you?
    
    JOSH
    Everybody was with me. We’d just gone to a Town Hall meeting. We’d just gotten off 
    television.
    
    STANLEY
    Who’s everybody?
    
    JOSH
    The President travels with a large group of people.
    
    STANLEY
    Who’s...?
    
    JOSH
    It was geared to young people. There were Department of Education people, event staff, 
    obviously C.J. Cregg and the press corps, Leo McGarry was there, Bob Shanahan, Toby 
    Ziegler, Ziegler’s deputy Sam Seaborn, Zoey Bartlet was there obviously, Charlie Young...
    
    STANLEY
    Who was with you?
    
    Josh makes a face.
    
    STANLEY
    Josh, I’m trying to get you to tell me what happened.
    
    JOSH
    Stanley, I walked out of the building, I heard gunshots, people started screaming, I woke 
    up in a hospital room.
    
    STANLEY
    Okay. What happened 3 weeks ago?
    
    JOSH
    I don’t know what you’re referring to.
    
    STANLEY
    I don’t know what I’m referring to either but some of the people you work with became 
    concerned with your behavior three weeks ago.
    
    JOSH
    Well, I’ve been concerned with their behavior since long before that.
    
    STANLEY
    Josh.
    
    JOSH
    They were talking about the pilot.
    
    STANLEY
    The pilot?
    
    JOSH
    Robert Cano, the Air Force pilot.
    
    STANLEY
    And what about him?
    
    JOSH
    I don’t know.
    
    STANLEY
    You just said they were talking about the pilot
    
    JOSH
    I said they may have been talking about the pilot.
    
    STANLEY
    Well that’s not what you said.
    
    JOSH
    There was a lot going on. There was the IMF treaty, the petroleum reserves, Alaska, the 
    President’s...
    
    STANLEY
    But you mentioned the pilot.
    
    JOSH
    I didn’t mention the pilot for any specific reason. I was saying there was a lot 
    happening three weeks ago.
    
    STANLEY
    Okay then let’s talk about three weeks ago.
    
    CUT TO: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE LOBBY - THREE WEEKS AGO
    Josh enters the White House lobby where Toby is standing watching a brass quintet play 
    “Joy To The World” very loudly.
    
    JOSH
    Toby!
    
    TOBY
    Yeah?
    
    JOSH
    What the hell’s going on?
    
    TOBY
    What do you mean?
    
    JOSH
    Who are these guys?
    
    TOBY
    They’re a brass quintet.
    
    JOSH
    I’m sorry?
    
    TOBY 
    [yelling] A brass quintet... two trumpets, trombone, baritone horn, French horn. Do you 
    like them?
    
    JOSH
    Do I like them for what?
    
    TOBY
    To play Christmas carols here in the lobby in the morning and evenings as people are 
    coming and going.
    
    JOSH
    No.
    
    TOBY
    Why?
    
    JOSH
    Because this isn’t the Paramus mall.
    
    TOBY
    Let me tell you something, the last two Christmases in this White House I’ve been accused 
    of not being in the proper spirit. I was called names. Not this year! For the next three 
    weeks I will be filling this lobby with music in the mornings and evenings so that we may 
    all experience this season of... [turning to musicians with annoyance] Would you people 
    stop playing for one damn minute!
    
    The brass quintet dies out.
    
    TOBY
    This season of peace and joy.
    
    JOSH
    Okay.
    
    TOBY
    So what do you think?
    
    JOSH
    They seem fine.
    
    TOBY
    And the loose change they collect goes to pay for musical instruments in DC public schools.
    
    They start to walk.
    
    JOSH
    Toby, Ben Zaharian stepped off the reservation last night.
    
    TOBY
    What’d he do? [over shoulder] You guys can keep playing.
    
    The band starts up again and can be heard throughout the halls.
    
    JOSH
    He was at a Q&A at the NRDC about drilling the North Slope. He was asked if the President 
    would consider tapping into the SPR and he said tapping into the SPR has a lot of merit.
    
    TOBY
    I’ll get into it.
    
    JOSH
    Thank you. 
    
    Josh exits. Toby sees Sam.
    
    TOBY
    Sam!
    
    SAM
    Yeah.
    
    TOBY
    Ben Zaharian did a Q&A last night and he was asked a question about the strategic 
    petroleum reserve.
    
    SAM
    And he said the SPR’s for emergencies like times of war?
    
    TOBY
    He said tapping into the SPR has a lot of merit.
    
    SAM
    I’ll talk to a deputy.
    
    TOBY
    Would you please go in and give C.J. a heads up?
    
    CUT TO: INT. THE PRESS ROOM - CONTINUOUS
    C.J. is at the briefing. Carol is by the side.
    
    C.J.
    ...And expressed his confidence when the IMF and the World Bank meet in Prague next week 
    some of those restrictions will be relaxed.
    
    REPORTERS
    C.J.!
    
    FEMALE REPORTER
    To what extent could Pete Didian’s objections throw a wrench into the works?
    
    C.J. 
    Well congress isn’t in session but you mean...
    
    Sam enters.
    
    FEMALE REPORTER
    Yeah after the first.
    
    C.J.
    He sits on the foreign ep sub committee so... Mark.
    
    MARK
    This is way out of left field but do you know anything about a woman... I don’t know how 
    to say this... going a little crazy during a tour.
    
    C.J.
    A White House tour?
    
    Sam passes Carol a note who passes it along to C.J.
    
    MARK
    Yeah, a woman saw a painting and started screaming.
    
    C.J.
    I don’t know Mark. There’s a painting of Dolly Madison in the grand foyer. You catch it 
    in the wrong light it can scare the...
    
    The reporters chuckle.
    
    MARK
    Okay.
    
    C.J.
    What else? Katie?
    
    KATIE
    C.J., last night the energy secretary gave a speech at the Natural Resource Defense 
    Council about the perils of drilling on the North Slope. During a Q&A he was asked about 
    tapping into the Strategic Petroleum Reserve to help ease oil prices. He responded that 
    the idea had a lot of merit. Does this signal a shift in policy since last June?
    
    C.J. glances at Sam who gives her a small nod.
    
    C.J.
    No, it doesn’t, but I will say that a bad idea in June isn’t necessarily a bad idea in 
    December.
    
    KATIE
    Why?
    
    C.J.
    You don’t need to lower the price of heating oil during the summer. Thank you everyone.
    
    C.J. goes over to Sam. Both walk out to the HALLWAY.
    
    SAM
    Thank you.
    
    C.J. 
    Is somebody going to speak to somebody?
    
    SAM
    I’ll talk to a deputy.
    
    C.J.
    Please.
    
    SAM
    What do you suppose that was about with the woman?
    
    C.J.
    What woman?
    
    SAM 
    The woman who went crazy on the tour?
    
    C.J.
    We get about five of those a week.
    
    SAM
    Really?
    
    C.J.
    Yeah.
    
    SAM
    What exactly about the White House tour makes them go crazy?
    
    C.J.
    The blue blazers? You’re going to talk to someone at the energy department.
    
    SAM
    Yeah.
    
    They separate. JOSH comes up and begins to walk through the halls with C.J.
    
    JOSH
    Good save.
    
    C.J.
    Thank you. Where’s the President?
    
    JOSH
    The situation room.
    
    C.J.
    What’s going on?
    
    JOSH 
    Something about a pilot.
    
    CUT TO: INT. THE SITUATION ROOM - DAY
    Enter the President and Leo. Everyone stands.
    
    BARTLET
    What’s going on? Sit down.
    
    MAN 1
    Mr. President an F16 Falcon from the 27-fighter wing at Cannon Air Force Base in New 
    Mexico has left his group.
    
    BARTLET
    What does that mean?
    
    KEN
    Returning home from an exercise the flight leader visually realized that the tail plane 
    was no longer in formation.
    
    MAN 1
    There was no communication from the aircraft and now it refuses to respond to urgent 
    radio calls.
    
    BARTLET
    Is he in there alone? Is there a crew?
    
    LEO
    The Falcon is a single seat fighter.
    
    BARTLET
    Did he crash?
    
    MAN 2
    If he crashed he would have triggered electronic signals that would have been picked up 
    by ground base.
    
    BARTLET
    Is there any chance he’s trying to contact the ground and can’t?
    
    MAN 1
    Massive collapse of this plane’s communication system isn’t very likely.
    
    LEO
    Ken, what does he have up there?
    
    KEN
    Well he’s got a 20mm Vulcan cannon and 7 AIM sidewinder missiles.
    
    BARTLET
    Is his intention to defect with a military asset or his intention to blow something up?
    
    MAN 1
    We don’t know what his intention is.
    
    BARTLET
    Don’t our fighter pilors have to go through some kind of psychological testing?
    
    KEN
    Oh they go through extensive screening sir. He was deemed psychologically fit to fly.
    
    BARTLET
    Let me ask a ridiculous question and I know the answer is no. Is there any way to bring 
    this plane down without shooting it down?
    
    MAN 1
    No sir.
    
    BARTLET
    What about populated areas?
    
    KEN
    We can take him over the Sierra Madres.
    
    MAN 1
    Mr. President, it’s possible the pilot lost consciousness due to a dramatic loss of air 
    pressure and that’s why this is happening.
    
    MAN 2
    We’ve scrambled F16 out of Edwards to get a visual sighting.
    
    MAN 1
    If the pilot is dead they’ll see signs in the cockpit, if he’s conscious he’ll know he’s 
    been painted and he’ll be given an order by the interceptors to land at a designated area.
    
    KEN
    If he doesn’t that’s when we make a decision.
    
    BARTLET
    Yeah okay.
    
    STANLEY [VO]
    And that’s the first time you heard about the pilot?
    
    CUT TO: INT. THE SECLUDED MEETING ROOM - PRESENT
    We go back to Josh and his meeting.
    
    JOSH
    [very tired] I’m sorry?
    
    STANLEY
    That was the first time you heard about the pilot?
    
    JOSH
    No I wasn’t in the situation room. I don’t sit in on those meetings.
    
    STANLEY
    But that day was when you first heard out the pilot?
    
    JOSH
    Yeah they’d tell me a little later because I had an assignment.
    
    STANLEY
    Having to do with the pilot?
    
    JOSH
    Yeah.
    
    STANLEY
    What was it?
    
    JOSH
    I’m sorry if this question sounds rude but how long will we be here today?
    
    STANLEY
    Well I’m sorry if this answer sounds rude but as long as I want. I was asked here by 
    Leo McGarry.
    
    JOSH
    I know who asked you here.
    
    STANLEY
    Three weeks ago, the pilot.
    
    JOSH
    For the fourth time there was a lot going on that day and I’m not sure why we have to be 
    fixated on...
    
    STANLEY
    What was the assignment with the pilot?
    
    JOSH
    I was supposed to look into his personal records to figure out why he...
    
    There’s a loud knocking on the door. Josh jumps. We flash to Josh in a white dress shirt 
    and undone tie at home as someone knocks on his door. He looks very startled and his 
    hand is bleeding. We cut back to the room.
    
    STANLEY
    It’s the coffee, Josh.
    
    FADE OUT.
    END ACT ONE
    * * *
    
    ACT TWO
    
    FADE IN: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE HALLWAY - THREE WEEKS AGO
    Leo and Josh are walking down the hallway together. Leo is holding a coffee cup. 
    
    JOSH
    When did you find out? 
    
    LEO 
    We were in the situation room about an hour ago. 
    
    JOSH 
    How long has he been up there? 
    
    LEO 
    Ninety minutes since he broke formation.
    
    He grabs a cookie as they continue walking.
    
    LEO [cont.]
    They've deployed the 57th Fighter Wing from Nellis, Nevada, the 388th, the 58th from 
    Arizona, the 301st out of Texas. 
    
    JOSH 
    How long before I see this on television? 
    
    LEO 
    I'm amazed News Center 4 doesn't have their traffic helicopter up there right now. 
    
    JOSH 
    And how long before we make visual contact? 
    
    LEO 
    About ten minutes. 
    
    JOSH 
    What do we know about the pilot? 
    
    LEO 
    Not as much as I'd like to. 
    
    JOSH 
    Want me to get into it? 
    
    LEO 
    Get the biographical info. How did this guy get through a fairly intense psychological 
    screening process? 
    
    JOSH 
    Yeah. 
    
    LEO 
    We gave this guy an $18 million warplane. 
    
    JOSH 
    I'll get in to it. 
    
    Leo walks off, and Josh keeps walking. He bumps into Donna.
    
    JOSH 
    Sorry. Donna. 
    
    DONNA 
    I have the personnel file for the pilot. 
    
    JOSH 
    How did you know I was going to ask you for that? 
    
    DONNA 
    I'm tuned to you. 
    
    JOSH 
    Seriously. 
    
    DONNA 
    I anticipate your every need. 
    
    JOSH 
    Yeah, but to be walking by with the guy's personnel file? 
    
    DONNA 
    They called me ten minutes ago, Josh, don't be a yutz. 
    
    They both stop walking for a beat. 
    
    JOSH 
    Oh. 
    
    They resume walking, and go through the LOBBY, where the quintet is playing “God Rest Ye 
    Merry, Gentlemen.” 
    
    DONNA 
    On the other hand, you're a very handsome man. 
    
    JOSH 
    What do you need? 
    
    DONNA 
    You're a very powerful and a very handsome man. 
    
    JOSH 
    What do you need? 
    
    DONNA 
    You know how I never ask you for anything? 
    
    JOSH 
    [sounding annoyed] What do you need? 
    
    DONNA 
    Yo-Yo Ma is playing at the Christmas party. 
    
    JOSH 
    Which one? 
    
    DONNA 
    Congressional. 
    
    JOSH 
    Fine. 
    
    DONNA 
    I can come? 
    
    JOSH 
    Give me the file. 
    
    DONNA 
    Can I come? 
    
    JOSH 
    To the Congressional Christmas party? 
    
    DONNA 
    Yeah. 
    
    JOSH 
    Yeah. 
    
    DONNA 
    You can take your Pablo Casals, you can keep your Rostopovich, I say Yo-Yo Ma rules. 
    
    JOSH 
    Hmm. 
    
    DONNA 
    What? 
    
    DONNA stops to make copies. 
    
    JOSH 
    [looking over the file] This guy? The pilot? 
    
    DONNA 
    What about him? 
    
    JOSH 
    He's got the same birthday as me. I'll be in here. 
    
    Josh heads for his office. Sam walks up to him. 
    
    SAM 
    Josh. 
    
    JOSH 
    Yeah? 
    
    SAM 
    So I spoke to Jessie Witt at Energy. 
    
    JOSH 
    Yeah. 
    
    SAM 
    I dressed her down pretty good. 
    
    JOSH 
    They're not going to get us to change our policy on the SPR by announcing that we should 
    change our policy. [goes behind his desk]
    
    SAM 
    And I told her that, I told her that in no uncertain terms. [looks down at the file]
    
    JOSH 
    And? 
    
    SAM 
    I think we should change our policy. 
    
    JOSH 
    I kind of have to do this thing right now. Can we talk about it later? 
    
    SAM 
    Yeah. [starts to leave]
    
    JOSH 
    [sits] You know this guy, the pilot? 
    
    SAM 
    Yeah. [turns]
    
    JOSH 
    We have the same birthday. 
    
    SAM 
    Okay, well, I'm gonna go talk to Leo about the SPR. 
    
    JOSH 
    Yeah. 
    
    Sam leaves and Josh begins to look at the file. 
    
    CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY
    C.J. and a woman are walking in the hall. 
    
    WOMAN 
    C.J. 
    
    C.J 
    Yeah? 
    
    WOMAN 
    Bernard Thatch from the White House Visitor's office is waiting for you inside. 
    
    C.J. 
    Yeah, I asked him to come see me. 
    
    The woman walks off and C.J. enters THE ROOSEVELT ROOM, where BERNARD THATCH is waiting 
    for her. He is a tall guy with a hard English accent.
    
    BERNARD THATCH
    Claudia Jean. 
    
    C.J. 
    How you doing, Bernard? [They shake hands.]
    
    BERNARD 
    I'm not at all well. 
    
    C.J. 
    That's not unusual, is it? 
    
    BERNARD 
    No. 
    
    C.J. 
    I understand there was an incident on a tour. 
    
    BERNARD 
    There's always an incident on a tour. People touch things. 
    
    C.J. 
    Well, you should punish them for that, Bernard. 
    
    BERNARD 
    I've begged my supervisors to allow me. 
    
    C.J. 
    This had to do with a painting. 
    
    BERNARD 
    Oh, yes. It's all in the report. It wasn't a problem. 
    
    C.J. 
    Yeah, but it made it to the Press Room, so I just wanted to check in. 
    
    BERNARD 
    The guide was pointing out the Gustave Callioux hanging outside the Blue Room. 
    
    C.J. nods.
    
    BERNARD
    A woman began screaming completely incoherently. 
    
    C.J. 
    In English? 
    
    BERNARD 
    If it was a language at all, its origin was unknown to me. I sent for the agent on duty, 
    who attempted to take a statement, but not speaking whatever language was simply escorted 
    her out of the building. 
    
    C.J. 
    Well, okay. Thanks for stopping by. 
    
    They begin to move towards the door. 
    
    BERNARD 
    C.J., your necklace is a monument to bourgeois taste. 
    
    C.J. 
    Thank you. [fingers necklace] 
    
    BERNARD 
    You're welcome. 
    
    Bernard exits the room, and C.J. follows him. They proceed to have a pedoconference. 
    
    C.J. 
    Listen, who is Gustave Callioux, and how long has this painting been hanging outside the 
    Blue Room? 
    
    BERNARD 
    Callioux was a contemporary of Courbet, who was considerably more gifted. This is a 
    painting of the cliffs of Etretat, cleverly titled "The Cliffs of Etretat. It is a minor 
    work. 
    
    C.J. 
    What's it doing here? 
    
    BERNARD 
    It was on loan from the Musee d'Orsay to the National Gallery. The President, on a visit 
    to the gallery, and possessing even less taste in fine art than you have in accessories, 
    announced that he liked the painting. The French government offered it as a gift to the 
    White House. [Both stop walking.] I suppose in retribution for EuroDisney. So here it 
    hangs, like a gym sock on a shower rod. 
    
    C.J. 
    You're a snob. 
    
    BERNARD 
    Yes. 
    
    Bernard leaves, and C.J., smiling, walks the other way. 
    
    BARTLET [VO] 
    I'd stay on the phone with Cashmen and Berryhill. 
    
    CUT TO: INT. THE ROOSEVELT ROOM - DAY
    Charlie enters in on a meeting, and we see Bartlet sitting with several staffers. 
    
    BARTLET 
    They're going to know when the F-16's have painted him before I will. 
    
    WOMAN 
    Thank you, Mr. President. 
    
    Everyone gets up and moves to leave. 
    
    BARTLET 
    Thank you. 
    
    Charlie hands Bartlet a folder. 
    
    BARTLET 
    When I was in tenth grade me and my friends took my dad's Ford Country Squire for a 
    joyride to Vermont. He locked me in the garage till Easter. 
    
    They exit the room, into the HALLWAY.
    
    BARTLET
    What do you think we should do with this pilot once we get his ass on the ground? 
    
    CHARLIE 
    You think that's gonna happen? 
    
    BARTLET 
    [sadly] No. 
    
    CHARLIE 
    Mr. President, they've asked me to talk to you about your Christmas cards. 
    
    BARTLET 
    What about them? 
    
    They both walk in THE OVAL OFFICE.
    
    CHARLIE 
    They want to know which ones you're going to sign by hand and which ones get the autopen. 
    
    BARTLET 
    I'm gonna sign them all by hand. 
    
    CHARLIE 
    Sir, we went through this last year. 
    
    BARTLET 
    I'm gonna sign them all by hand. 
    
    CHARLIE 
    I'm not sure that's practical. 
    
    BARTLET 
    I don't like the whole idea of the autopen. 
    
    CHARLIE 
    Nonetheless. 
    
    BARTLET 
    Let's do them all by hand. How many can there be? 
    
    CHARLIE 
    Christmas cards. 
    
    BARTLET 
    How many am I sending out? 
    
    CHARLIE 
    1,110,000. 
    
    BARTLET 
    Seriously? 
    
    CHARLIE 
    Yes, sir. 
    
    BARTLET 
    I'm sending out 1.1 million Christmas cards? [sits down] 
    
    CHARLIE 
    It's a three-tier system, sir. There are about a thousand names on the First Family's 
    list, then there are about a one hundred thousand campaign workers and contributors. 
    
    BARTLET 
    Who are the other million? 
    
    CHARLIE 
    You send a Christmas card to everyone who writes a letter to the White House. 
    
    BARTLET 
    I do? 
    
    CHARLIE 
    Yes, sir. And somewhere around a million people wrote you letters this year. 
    
    BARTLET 
    Okay, but some of those were death threats. 
    
    CHARLIE 
    They've weeded those out. 
    
    BARTLET 
    Well, I'm not signing 1.1 million cards. 
    
    CHARLIE 
    I wouldn't think so. 
    
    Charlie starts to leave, and Leo enters.
    
    LEO 
    Mr. President? 
    
    BARTLET 
    1.1 million cards? 
    
    CHARLIE 
    Yes, sir. [exits] 
    
    BARTLET 
    [to Leo] Yeah? 
    
    LEO 
    Situation Room. 
    
    BARTLET 
    What happened? 
    
    CUT TO: INT. MEETING ROOM - PRESENT
    
    JOSH 
    He was dead. 
    
    STANLEY 
    The pilot. 
    
    JOSH 
    Robert Cano, yeah. Leo came and told me. 
    
    STANLEY 
    What had you found out about him? 
    
    JOSH 
    [quietly] What do you mean? 
    
    STANLEY 
    You were supposed to learn about the pilot and brief the President. 
    
    JOSH 
    I didn't learn anything.
    
    STANLEY 
    Well, you must have learned something. 
    
    JOSH 
    There wasn't time. There was maybe twenty minutes between when I got the assignment and 
    when Leo came in. 
    
    STANLEY 
    How'd he die? 
    
    JOSH 
    Cano? 
    
    STANLEY 
    Yeah. 
    
    JOSH 
    He crashed into a mountain, Stanley. 
    
    STANLEY 
    No, I mean, was it ‘cause he lost oxygen? Did you have to shoot him down? 
    
    JOSH 
    This was on the front page of the newspapers. 
    
    CUT TO: INT. JOSH’S OFFICE - THREE WEEKS AGO
    Josh in his office, looking at photos. 
    
    STANLEY [VO]
    Well, it wasn't in the front page of the sports section, so... 
    
    There is a knock on Josh's door. Leo enters. 
    
    LEO 
    It's over. 
    
    JOSH 
    The F-16? 
    
    LEO 
    Yeah, he went into a mountain north of Mexico City. 
    
    JOSH 
    Was the pilot alive when it crashed? 
    
    LEO 
    Yeah. 
    
    JOSH 
    We know that for sure, or we're just...?
    
    LEO 
    There was a radio communication. 
    
    JOSH 
    From the pilot? 
    
    LEO 
    Yeah. 
    
    JOSH 
    What'd he say? 
    
    LEO 
    He said, "It wasn't the plane." 
    
    JOSH 
    That's it? 
    
    LEO 
    Yeah. 
    
    JOSH 
    Okay. [begins to look through the photos again]
    
    LEO 
    [sits] So what do you know? 
    
    JOSH 
    The same things you know. He's from Tallahassee. He trained at Laughlin on T-37's. 
    
    LEO'S BODY, STANLEY'S VOICE 
    What else? 
    
    CUT TO: INT. MEETING ROOM - PRESENT 
    
    JOSH 
    Stanley. 
    
    STANLEY 
    What else did you know? 
    
    JOSH 
    I didn't know anything. I knew his, I knew his name, I knew his rank, uh, I knew where 
    he trained. I knew his missions. 
    
    STANLEY 
    What else? 
    
    JOSH 
    We had the same birthday. 
    
    STANLEY 
    That's right. And what else? 
    
    CUT TO: INT. JOSH’S OFFICE - THREE WEEKS AGO
    
    JOSH 
    He's got some medals. One of them's a... Purple Heart. 
    
    LEO 
    For what? 
    
    JOSH 
    His plane was shot at over Bosnia. It caught fire, he ejected. 
    
    We hear sounds of gunshots and screaming faintly in the background.
    
    JOSH [cont.]
    And there were some injuries. 
    
    The sounds continue, with sirens, and slowly fade away as the camera turns back to Stanley.
    
    STANLEY 
    That's right, Josh. That's right. 
    
    FADE OUT.
    END ACT TWO
    * * *
    
    ACT THREE
    
    FADE IN: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE LOBBY - FIVE DAYS AGO
    Bagpipes are heard in the White House Lobby. There is a band of traditionally dressed 
    Scottish musicians playing near the Christmas tree. Josh walks by Toby, who is standing 
    next to them. 
    
    JOSH
    Toby. 
    
    TOBY 
    Yeah. 
    
    JOSH 
    Bagpipes? 
    
    TOBY 
    Yeah. 
    
    JOSH 
    You put bagpipes in the lobby? 
    
    TOBY 
    Not just any bagpipes, Josh. Those guys are the Duncan McTavish Clarney Highland Bagpipe 
    Regiment. 
    
    They start walking.
    
    JOSH
    They're a bagpipe regiment. 
    
    TOBY 
    They're three guys from Delaware, but they can play. 
    
    JOSH 
    Two weeks ago, it was a brass quintet; yesterday, it was the Capital Blue Plate Banjo Band. 
    
    TOBY 
    Capitol Bluegrass Banjo Brigade and those guys were featured on the local news. 
    
    JOSH 
    They're pretty loud. 
    
    TOBY 
    The bagpipes? 
    
    JOSH 
    Yeah. 
    
    TOBY 
    That's because the shepherds would need to call in the goats from high atop the hills... 
    
    JOSH 
    Shepherds herd sheep, they don't do it in Delaware and these guys can't play in the lobby! 
    
    TOBY 
    They money that people toss in their cases will go to buy band uniforms for the 
    St. Mary's Assumption Marching Red Raiders. 
    
    JOSH 
    Toby, I'm not kidding. 
    
    TOBY 
    These guys have a fourteen-song repertoire... 
    
    JOSH 
    [screaming] I can hear the damn sirens all over the building! [long pause] The... bagpipes. 
    
    TOBY 
    [stops] Josh? 
    
    JOSH 
    The... bagpipes. 
    
    Josh walks away from Toby, who is standing, watching him.
    
    JOSH
    They can't play in the lobby! 
    
    C.J. walks out a door in front of Toby. 
    
    C.J. 
    Toby! 
    
    TOBY 
    [still looks as Josh heads for his office.] Yeah. 
    
    C.J. 
    Hang on a second. Carol, a few days ago I met with Bernard Thatch of the White House 
    Visitors Office. 
    
    CAROL [OS]
    Yes, he didn't like my shoes. 
    
    C.J. 
    He said the Secret Service took a report from a woman who had some kind of an episode 
    on a tour? 
    
    TOBY 
    C.J.? 
    
    C.J. 
    Uh, hang on. I should really glance at that report, could you get it for me? 
    
    CAROL 
    Yeah. [leaves]
    
    C.J. 
    Toby, if I get asked the SPR question... 
    
    Josh comes out of his office and starts yelling. 
    
    JOSH 
    Would it be possible to hold the noise down out here?! 
    
    DONNA 
    [stops in front of him] Do you need something? 
    
    JOSH 
    I... need the CBO spec. 
    
    DONNA [OS]
    It's on your desk.
     
    Toby and C.J. are watching, stunned.
    
    JOSH 
    It's like a damn hockey game out here. 
    
    He slams his door shut.
    
    CUT TO: INT. MEETING ROOM - PRESENT
    Stanley and Josh are sitting across from each other by a table. 
    
    STANLEY 
    Did you know at this point that there were people who were concerned about you? 
    
    JOSH 
    I don't... I'm not really comfortable with that question. 
    
    STANLEY 
    I mean concerned with your behavior. 
    
    JOSH 
    I understand what you meant. 
    
    STANLEY 
    If you look back to the days following the pilot, do you remember anything unusual about 
    your behavior? 
    
    JOSH 
    No. 
    
    STANLEY 
    Why do you think your friends were saying that? 
    
    JOSH 
    This is incredibly prosecutorial! 
    
    STANLEY 
    I don't care! 
    
    JOSH 
    I think if you want to know what my friends were thinking and why they were thinking it, 
    you should talk to my friends. 
    
    STANLEY 
    I did. 
    
    JOSH 
    So I gather. 
    
    STANLEY 
    What was going on on the 19th? 
    
    JOSH 
    The 19th of this month? 
    
    STANLEY 
    Five days ago. 
    
    JOSH 
    Stanley, to say ‘what was going on on the 19th...' the number of things that go on here 
    during a day... 
    
    STANLEY 
    Name some things that went on five days ago. 
    
    CUT TO: INT. C.J.’S OFFICE - FIVE DAYS AGO
    C.J. is on a couch with a drink in her hand and an old photograph. Josh walks in. 
    
    JOSH 
    C.J.! C.J.! C.J.! 
    
    C.J. 
    [preoccupied with the photograph] Yeah. 
    
    JOSH 
    What are you doing? 
    
    C.J. 
    Eating lunch. 
    
    JOSH 
    Why is... 
    
    C.J. 
    Something's strange about this photograph. 
    
    JOSH 
    Listen, why is there no more information coming about Robert Cano? 
    
    C.J. 
    ‘Cause there's no new information. 
    
    JOSH 
    Okay. [turns to leave the office] 
    
    C.J. 
    There isn't! 
    
    JOSH
    [turns around and laughs sarcastically] You accept that? 
    
    C.J. 
    Yeah! 
    
    JOSH 
    A perfectly healthy air force pilot kills himself and nobody's asking why? 
    
    C.J. 
    A lot of people are asking why, we just don't know why except that he obviously wasn't 
    perfectly healthy anymore! 
    
    JOSH 
    All right. [turns to leave again] 
    
    C.J. 
    Hang on. [gets up and shows him the picture] Look at this picture. Does something in 
    this picture look familiar? 
    
    JOSH 
    It's a man holding a little girl. 
    
    C.J. 
    Look behind the man on the wall. 
    
    JOSH 
    The painting. 
    
    C.J. 
    Yeah. 
    
    JOSH 
    Yeah. 
    
    C.J. 
    It looks familiar? 
    
    JOSH 
    It's the same one that's hanging outside the Blue Room. 
    
    Josh walks out as Donna passes by him. 
    
    C.J. 
    Are you kidding? 
    
    JOSH 
    I need information. 
    
    C.J. 
    I'm going to the Blue Room. 
    
    DONNA 
    Yo-Yo Ma rules! 
    
    Josh stops and stares at her with discontent. 
    
    CUT TO: INT. MEETING ROOM - PRESENT
    Josh is now pacing the room. 
    
    JOSH 
    She wouldn't shut up about Yo-Yo Ma. 
    
    STANLEY 
    You don't like the cello? 
    
    JOSH 
    I like the cello fine. You asked me what was going on that day and one of the things that 
    was going on was that Donna wouldn't shut up about Yo-Yo Ma. 
    
    STANLEY 
    Who was playing at the Christmas Party?
    
    JOSH 
    Yeah. 
    
    STANLEY 
    Now, the day of that party you had a meeting at the Oval Office. 
    
    JOSH 
    Probably. 
    
    STANLEY 
    No, you did. 
    
    JOSH 
    Okay. 
    
    STANLEY 
    You don't remember having a meeting at the Oval Office that day? 
    
    JOSH 
    It's not unusual for me to meet with the President in the Oval Office five or ten times 
    a day. 
    
    STANLEY 
    The meeting I'm talking about wasn't usual. 
    
    JOSH 
    Stanley... 
    
    STANLEY 
    Come on! You're pissed at Sam, you're pissed at Toby, you're pissed at C.J., you're 
    pissed at Donna. Who's next? 
    
    CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - DAY OF THE PARTY
    A meeting is happening involving the men of the staff. Sam speaks off screen, and all 
    we see is President Bartlet.
    
    SAM [OS]
    Sir, last year New England had 16.3 million barrels of commercial inventory. This year, 
    they have six. 
    
    CUT TO: INT. MEETING ROOM - PRESENT 
    
    JOSH 
    Nobody was next. I... I... I don't know what you heard about this meeting, but... 
    It wasn't even my meeting! 
    
    CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - DAY OF THE PARTY 
    
    BARTLET 
    OPEC will find a way to punish us. 
    
    Leo, Sam and Josh are standing in front of him. 
    
    SAM 
    The Saudis have announced that they'd welcome the US tapping into the SPR to calm the 
    market. Even the Saudis think that the price is too high. 
    
    BARTLET 
    If the Saudis are that concerned, why don't they just make the old faster? 
    
    SAM 
    Well, they're not that concerned. 
    
    BARTLET 
    I didn't think so. 
    
    CUT TO: INT. MEETING ROOM - PRESENT
    Josh has his bandaged hand in front view on the table. 
    
    JOSH 
    It was Sam's meeting. He wanted the President to get together with his Energy and 
    Economic advisors on the SPR. I was only there for a political perspective. 
    
    STANLEY 
    What does that mean? 
    
    JOSH 
    There are only two things that ever stopped the government from doing anything money or 
    politics. 
    
    STANLEY 
    So, you were there to say it was a bad idea politically? 
    
    JOSH 
    Yeah. 
    
    STANLEY 
    Did you think it was? 
    
    JOSH 
    Yeah. 
    
    STANLEY 
    Did you say so? 
    
    JOSH 
    I'm paid to say so! 
    
    STANLEY 
    What'd you say? 
    
    JOSH 
    I told him to... [pause and smirks] You're not gonna understand it. 
    
    STANLEY 
    I'm a fairly well-educated guy. 
    
    JOSH 
    You need to understand the background. 
    
    STANLEY 
    Did you raise your voice? 
    
    JOSH 
    To the President? 
    
    STANLEY 
    Yeah. 
    
    JOSH 
    [laughs] No! 
    
    STANLEY 
    Okay. 
    
    JOSH 
    You don't raise your voice to the President. 
    
    STANLEY 
    Okay. 
    
    JOSH 
    You certainly don't do it in the Oval Office. 
    
    STANLEY 
    Okay. 
    
    JOSH 
    There's always lively discussion and the President's informal with his staff, but there's 
    a line you don't cross... Ever. You don't ever cross that line. 
    
    CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - DAY OF THE PARTY
    
    BARTLET 
    Let's set up a meeting. 
    
    SAM 
    Sir, can I say... 
    
    BARTLET 
    You sold me. We're setting up a meeting. [about to walk out of the office] 
    
    SAM 
    Excellent! 
    
    JOSH 
    Can I say I think it's a bad idea? 
    
    BARTLET 
    [stops and turns to Josh] Why? 
    
    JOSH 
    It's not something Didion's gonna like. 
    
    BARTLET 
    Well, I'm just talking about a meeting, but if I decide to do it, the President controls 
    the SPR and not Congress. 
    
    JOSH 
    Yeah, but Didion controls the IMF vote. 
    
    BARTLET 
    The two aren't related. 
    
    LEO 
    Let's move on. 
    
    JOSH 
    The two are related! 
    
    BARTLET 
    How? 
    
    JOSH 
    Through Didion. 
    
    BARTLET 
    I'm saying the Strategic Petroleum Reserve and forgiving the IMF debt are not related. 
    
    LEO 
    Anything else? 
    
    JOSH 
    [ignoring Leo] Of course they're related. 
    
    LEO 
    Josh. 
    
    JOSH 
    If Didion doesn't like that we're tapping into the SPR, he won't let the IMF debt out 
    of committee. 
    
    BARTLET 
    We'll talk to him tonight. 
    
    JOSH 
    Mr. President... 
    
    BARTLET 
    At the Christmas party, we'll take him aside... 
    
    JOSH 
    [raises his voice a bit] No, sir, you can't just take him aside... 
    
    LEO 
    Josh, we can move on... 
    
    JOSH 
    [puts his hand in front of Leo's face] We can't move on from it! 
    
    SAM 
    Josh... 
    
    JOSH 
    We can't just take him aside! If we tell him we need his help then we give him visibility 
    and power, and we put him in a position to say ‘no' and be a hero to his party! Who 
    wouldn't want to do that for a living? 
    
    BARTLET 
    Josh, Didion's a good guy, we can talk to him. 
    
    Josh walks very close to the President, waves his hands wildly.
    
    JOSH
    You need to listen to me. You have to listen to me. I can't help you, unless you listen 
    to me! You can't send Christmas cards to everyone, you can't do it! [yelling] Forget the 
    SPR, let's get the IMF loans like we said we were going to, listen to what I have to say 
    about Didion, and please, listen to me! 
    
    Everyone is looking at each other, lost. Josh's breathing heavily, and for a long moment, 
    his breathing is the only sound heard. 
    
    SAM 
    Josh. 
    
    JOSH 
    All right, let's move on. 
    
    LEO 
    Josh, go wait in my office, would you? 
    
    JOSH 
    I suppose if it's just a meeting, we... 
    
    LEO 
    Wait in my office. 
    
    JOSH 
    Okay. 
    
    He walks out while the conversation carries on awkwardly.
    
    BARTLET 
    We'll talk with Didion tonight? 
    
    LEO 
    Yeah. 
    
    BARTLET 
    By the way, it's not intervention in a free market if that's what he's worried about. 
    
    SAM 
    I agree! 
    
    BARTLET 
    It's not free trade if the price of oil is being controlled by a cartel. 
    
    LEO 
    No. 
    
    BARTLET 
    Sam, you'll be in on this? 
    
    SAM 
    Yes, sir. 
    
    BARTLET 
    Thank you. 
    
    SAM 
    Thank you, Mr. President. 
    
    Leo and Sam walk out through different doors while the President sits with his hack to 
    the camera. Leo walks into his OFFICE where Josh is standing, and closes the door. 
    
    LEO 
    Have you ever heard of ATVA? 
    
    JOSH 
    Leo... 
    
    LEO 
    I'm here. 
    
    JOSH 
    I think I should go back in there. 
    
    LEO 
    It's the American Trauma Victims Association. 
    
    JOSH 
    Leo... 
    
    LEO 
    We call them in to treat trauma victims, specifically with... 
    
    JOSH 
    I know what ATVA is. 
    
    LEO 
    You're gonna sit with a guy. 
    
    JOSH 
    Leo... 
    
    LEO 
    You're gonna sit with a guy. 
    
    JOSH 
    If this is because of what I just said in there, I wasn't at my best with... 
    
    LEO 
    Josh, I'm not sure you were fully conscious while you were saying it. 
    
    CUT TO: INT. MEETING ROOM - PRESENT
    
    STANLEY 
    Well, thank god for Leo. 
    
    JOSH 
    Yeah. 
    
    STANLEY 
    I'm serious. The man's an alcoholic, he knew what he was talking about. 
    
    JOSH 
    I'm not sure it was as bad as maybe it was... 
    
    STANLEY 
    It was. 
    
    JOSH 
    Stanley, you can ask the questions and you can answer them, but you can't do both at 
    the same time. 
    
    STANLEY 
    Yes, I can. 
    
    JOSH 
    Why? 
    
    STANLEY 
    Because I know the answers, and I don't work for you. 
    
    JOSH 
    Is there gonna be a... 
    
    STANLEY 
    How'd you cut your hand? 
    
    JOSH 
    Stanley... 
    
    STANLEY 
    Nah, how'd you do it? 
    
    We see a flashback of Josh in his apartment, sitting on a couch with a glass. 
    
    JOSH [VO] 
    I put a glass down. 
    
    Josh breaks the glass in his hand. We cut back to Stanley, rolling up his sleeve. 
    
    STANLEY 
    Yeah, I don't think you did. 
    
    JOSH 
    Stanley, I got home from the thing, I made a drink, I sat down, I pushed the magazine 
    aside to use as a coaster, and I missed the coaster. 
    
    We cut to the flashback again. Josh is looking at his bloody hands. We go back to the 
    meeting room. 
    
    STANLEY 
    You missed the coaster with quite a bit of force. 
    
    JOSH 
    I work out when I can. 
    
    STANLEY 
    I swear I am completely unimpressed with clever answers. 
    
    JOSH 
    And I was so hoping we'd have a second day. 
    
    STANLEY 
    [smiles] You're in nine kinds of pain. You don't know what's going on inside of you, 
    and you are so locked into damage control, that you can't... 
    
    JOSH 
    You diagnosed me in eight hours? 
    
    STANLEY 
    Josh, I diagnosed you in five minutes. 
    
    Josh looks at him, shocked.
    
    STANLEY
    Talk about the night of the party. 
    
    CUT TO: INT. JOSH’S APARTMENT - NIGHT OF THE PARTY
    There is knocking on the door, Josh doesn't move from the couch. 
    
    SUPERINTENDENT 
    [behind the door, off screen] Mr. Lyman? You in there? 
    
    STANLEY [VO]
    You said you put down the glass when you came home from a party that night. 
    
    JOSH 
    Yeah. The Congressional Christmas party. 
    
    More knocking. 
    
    SUPERINTENDENT 
    Mr. Lyman? 
    
    CUT TO: INT. MEETING ROOM - PRESENT 
    
    JOSH 
    The Congressional Christmas party was white-tie, which is unusual, but the President 
    likes it... 
    
    FADE OUT.
    END ACT THREE
    * * *
    
    ACT FOUR
    
    FADE IN: INT. THE PRESIDENT’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
    Charlie is standing in the center of the room, wearing a frock, looking uncomfortable. 
    Bartlet enters. 
    
    BARTLET
    You look good, Charlie. 
    
    CHARLIE 
    I didn't know people dressed like this anymore, sir. 
    
    BARTLET 
    I've brought it back.
    
    CHARLIE 
    Yes, sir. 
    
    BARTLET 
    Like Woodrow Wilson and top hats. 
    
    CHARLIE 
    We're not gonna wear top hats with this are we, sir? 
    
    BARTLET 
    No. Thank you.
    
    A man helps him on with coat as he and Charlie leave the room.
    
    MAN
    Good evening, Mr. President. 
    
    BARTLET 
    Charlie, this is how Statesmen dress. This is how they dress in times of occasion. 
    
    CHARLIE 
    Yes sir. 
    
    BARTLET 
    It's regal. 
    
    CHARLIE 
    Yes sir. 
    
    AGENT 
    Eagle's moving. 
    
    CUT TO: INT. C.J.’S OFFICE - NIGHT
    C.J. enters her office, where Bernard and two people are waiting for her there. 
    
    C.J.
    Hello. I'm sorry to keep you waiting. 
    
    BERNARD 
    C.J., this is Rebecca Haussmann and her son, David. 
    
    C.J. 
    I'm C.J. Cregg, David. We spoke on the phone. 
    
    DAVID 
    Yes. 
    
    C.J. 
    Mrs. Haussmann, I'm C.J. Cregg. I'm the White House Press Secretary. [to David] 
    Does she understand me? 
    
    DAVID 
    A little. 
    
    C.J. 
    This is your painting. Your father was Augie Haussmann? 
    
    MRS. HAUSSMANN 
    Yes. 
    
    DAVID 
    He was an art collector, mostly of minor impressionists that nobody really cared that 
    much about. He was a French Jew. 
    
    C.J. 
    And the Vichy Laws stripped him of his property? 
    
    DAVID 
    [nods] Yeah. 
    
    C.J. 
    Well, best as we can tell, the Nazis sold the painting to a Swiss dealer sometime after 
    your grandfather perished at Auschwitz. It made its way to the Musee d'Orsee, and then to 
    the National Gallery, where the President spotted it. We've contacted the French... 
    
    BERNARD 
    [interrupting] Who probably surrendered. 
    
    C.J. 
    ...who wanted to settle this matter amicably. 
    
    Mrs. Haussmann nods.
    
    C.J.
    We'd like you to have our sincere apology, as well as, of course, the painting back. 
    
    MRS. HAUSSMANN 
    Thank you. 
    
    Bernard hands David the wrapped picture.
    
    DAVID
    Well, you've made an old woman and her son very happy. 
    
    BERNARD 
    David, do you happen to know what your grandfather paid for it originally? 
    
    DAVID 
    Well, it would have been about the equivalent of $300 U.S. 
    
    BERNARD 
    Yes, that's about right. Would you explain to your mother that I had the painting 
    appraised, and it's worth about $400,000 now. You should also tell her that, if she 
    likes, we'd be honored to continue hanging the painting, and the longer we do, the 
    higher it will appreciate. 
    
    MRS. HAUSSMANN 
    [looks at David] No. 
    
    C.J. 
    Officers McDaniel and Smith from the Park Police are gonna escort you home. 
    
    MRS. HAUSSMANN 
    Thank you very much. 
    
    DAVID 
    Thank you. 
    
    C.J. and Bernard watch them leave, then leave themselves. They walk down the HALLWAY.
    
    C.J. 
    You see, you try very hard to be mean, but then you see that being nice is better. 
    
    BERNARD 
    You're a freakish little woman. 
    
    They part. 
    
    C.J. 
    So that moment's over? 
    
    BERNARD 
    Yes. 
    
    Josh walks by. 
    
    C.J. 
    Oh, Josh! Sam said the Didion meeting went well. 
    
    JOSH 
    Yeah, we'll support a LIEHEAP subsidy for air-conditioning in the Texas 23rd. 
    
    C.J. 
    Josh, it's Christmas. 
    
    JOSH 
    Yeah. 
    
    C.J. 
    We're starting in five minutes. 
    
    JOSH 
    Yeah. 
    
    C.J. leaves, Josh stands there.
    
    CUT TO: INT. MEETING ROOM - PRESENT
    
    JOSH
    What was the diagnosis? 
    
    STANLEY 
    I'm sorry? 
    
    JOSH 
    You said you diagnosed me in five minutes. What was the diagnosis? 
    
    STANLEY 
    You have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. 
    
    JOSH 
    Well, that doesn't really sound like something they let you have if you work for the 
    President. Can we have it be something else? Seriously, I-I think you might be wrong 
    about that. I-I'm not tryin' to be difficult. 
    
    STANLEY 
    I don't think you are. 
    
    JOSH 
    I know that I-I'm givin' you cocky answers, I that should be... 
    
    STANLEY 
    Listen... 
    
    JOSH 
    I know that you want me to talk about my feelings. 
    
    STANLEY 
    No I don't, Josh. The last thing I want you to do is talk about your feelings. I think 
    if you heard a tape recording of this day, you wouldn't hear the word ‘feelings.' What 
    we need to be able to get you to do is to remember the shooting without reliving it. 
    And you have been reliving it. 
    
    We hear Bartlet's speech introducing Yo-Yo Ma. 
    
    BARTLET [VO]
    We have polling that indicates that if Johann Sebastian Bach were alive today, he would 
    have voted for me. 
    
    The crowd laughs.
    
    STANLEY 
    Right? It happened during the Christmas party? 
    
    JOSH 
    I'm not tryin' to give cocky answers... 
    
    STANLEY 
    I am the guy you tell, Josh! It happened at the Christmas party. 
    
    We hear Bartlet again. 
    
    BARTLET [VO]
    The Bach Suite in G Major. Please help me in welcoming Yo-Yo Ma. 
    
    The crowd applauds.
    
    STANLEY 
    Josh? 
    
    JOSH 
    I was fine. 
    
    STANLEY 
    Josh? 
    
    JOSH 
    It was the Bach G Major. 
    
    We hear music playing. We flash to see scenes of the Christmas party. 
    
    STANLEY 
    It's a nice piece. 
    
    JOSH 
    It is. 
    
    STANLEY 
    Did he play it well? 
    
    JOSH 
    It's Yo-Yo Ma. 
    
    STANLEY 
    I've never heard him in person. 
    
    JOSH 
    He's really-he's really quite something, 
    
    We see flashes of the White House Senior Staff listening to Yo-Yo Ma. 
    
    STANLEY [VO]
    How did it start? 
    
    We cut back to the therapy.
    
    JOSH 
    I don't know. 
    
    STANLEY 
    Yes, you do. 
    
    JOSH 
    I was just sitting there. 
    
    We cut back to the party.
    
    STANLEY 
    And then what happened? 
    
    JOSH 
    I don't know! 
    
    We suddenly hear a gunshot.
    
    STANLEY 
    Are you in the fourth grade? 
    
    JOSH 
    I don't know how it started! 
    
    KAYTHA 
    You tasted something bitter in your mouth. 
    
    Josh has a flashback to the shooting. 
    
    KAYTHA [cont.]
    It was the adrenaline. The bitter taste was the adrenaline. 
    
    STANLEY 
    What happened then? 
    
    We see Josh at the party. He’s hearing scream and shots. 
    
    JOSH
    I couldn't make it stop. 
    
    At the party, Josh winces as if in pain. He has a flashback to the shooting and feels 
    as though he is being shot. He remembers the doctors and the ambulance. 
    
    JOSH
    I couldn't make it stop. 
    
    STANLEY 
    No you couldn't, Josh, but you've been trying for weeks and that's why you feel sick 
    inside. 
    
    We cut back to the party.
    
    STANLEY
    And what happened when you went home that night? 
    
    CUT TO: INT. JOSH’S APARTMENT - NIGHT OF THE PARTY
    Josh is looking at his bloody hand.
    
    SUPERINTENDENT
    Mr. Lyman? Are you in there? 
    
    CUT TO: INT. MEETING ROOM - PRESENT
    
    STANLEY 
    You had an episode at the party, that afternoon you had blown up in the Oval Office. 
    What happened when you went home that night? 
    
    JOSH 
    Honestly nothing! 
    
    STANLEY 
    Okay. 
    
    He gets up and moves closer to Josh.
    
    JOSH 
    I sat down on the couch... 
    
    STANLEY 
    Can you honestly tell me... 
    
    JOSH 
    [in his head, he sees the action.] I-I pushed the magazine aside as a coaster... 
    
    STANLEY 
    ...that when the Pilot committed suicide... Can you honestly tell me that you didn't 
    wonder if you were suicidal too? 
    
    Josh has been hearing the Bach Suite in his head-stops and sees himself with a bloody hand. 
    
    JOSH 
    I didn't wonder that. 
    
    STANLEY 
    You're lying. 
    
    JOSH 
    I didn't wonder that. 
    
    STANLEY 
    Everything that the two of you had in common... 
    
    JOSH 
    We had nothing in common! 
    
    STANLEY 
    You know you had the same birthday... 
    
    JOSH 
    Who gives a damn if we had the same birthday? 
    
    STANLEY 
    But you knew something else. 
    
    JOSH 
    Stanley... 
    
    STANLEY 
    You knew he has been shot down once, that his plane had caught on fire, that he had 
    ejected, and that there were some injuries. 
    
    JOSH 
    [yelling] Stanley! I made myself a drink, I pushed aside a magazine to use as a coaster. 
    
    STANLEY
    [yelling] Josh! Josh. How did you cut your hand? 
    
    CUT TO: INT. JOSH’S APARTMENT - NIGHT OF THE PARTY
    Josh is at his apartment having flashbacks. He can't take it anymore and puts his hand 
    through the window. 
    
    SUPERINTENDENT 
    [knocking on door] Mr. Lyman? It's your Super. [knocks] Mr. Lyman, are you okay in there? 
    
    Josh looks at his hand. 
    
    SUPERINTENDENT
    Mr. Lyman! 
    
    The piece ends. We hear applause. 
    
    CUT TO: INT. MEETING ROOM - PRESENT
    
    STANLEY 
    Okay then. 
    
    JOSH 
    Okay then? 
    
    STANLEY 
    [nods] That's that. 
    
    JOSH 
    I'm cured? 
    
    STANLEY 
    [humoring him] Yeah, Josh. You're cured. No problem. 
    
    JOSH 
    Stanley... 
    
    STANLEY 
    I'm gonna recommend a therapist you'll like. 
    
    JOSH 
    I like you! 
    
    STANLEY 
    You're to easy a case for me. 
    
    JOSH 
    I broke a window! 
    
    STANLEY 
    Yeah. Stop doing that. I want to commend you on not hurting anybody else and not hurting 
    yourself too badly, but nevertheless, stop doing that. [gets up from the chair] 
    
    JOSH 
    And... that'll do the trick? 
    
    STANLEY 
    Yup. 
    
    Kaytha gets up.
    
    JOSH 
    I-I'm gettin' short-changed here. 
    
    STANLEY 
    Merry Christmas, Josh! We're done. [puts papers in briefcase] I'll call your office 
    after the holidays and give you a number. 
    
    KAYTHA 
    It was nice meeting you. 
    
    JOSH 
    Hang on! What happens if tomorrow some pilot with my birthday decides to kill himself? 
    
    STANLEY 
    No, that wasn't what started it. 
    
    JOSH 
    What started it? 
    
    STANLEY 
    You were already cooking for a few hours before the pilot. 
    
    JOSH 
    I was? 
    
    STANLEY 
    Usually with a gunshot victim it's a car backfiring, or a twig snapping, but that's not 
    what it was with you. 
    
    JOSH 
    What was it? 
    
    STANLEY 
    [turns to Kaytha] Kaytha? 
    
    KAYTHA 
    The music. 
    
    STANLEY 
    The brass quintet. 
    
    JOSH 
    Why would the music have started it? 
    
    STANLEY 
    Well, I know it's gonna sound like I'm telling you that two plus two equals a bushel of 
    potatoes, but at this moment, in your head, music is the same thing as... 
    
    JOSH 
    ...as sirens. 
    
    STANLEY 
    [nods] Yeah. [puts on his coat]
    
    JOSH 
    So that's gonna be my reaction every time I hear music? 
    
    STANLEY 
    No. 
    
    JOSH 
    Why not? 
    
    STANLEY 
    Because we get better. [starts to leave]
    
    JOSH 
    All the same, I need some more therapy! 
    
    STANLEY 
    Oh, you're gonna get some! 
    
    JOSH 
    I mean now! [gets up] 
    
    STANLEY 
    Merry Christmas, Josh! 
    
    JOSH 
    We can order a pizza! 
    
    STANLEY 
    [laughs] Have a good night! 
    
    Stanley leaves with Kaytha. Josh follows him out of the room and calls.
    
    JOSH
    Stanley, I haven't told you my dreams yet! 
    
    STANLEY [OS] 
    Fax ‘em over to me! 
    
    JOSH 
    Merry Christmas. 
    
    Josh leaves the room as well.
    
    CUT TO: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE LOBBY - NIGHT
    Leo is sitting in a chair reading. Josh enters and doesn't notice Leo. 
    
    LEO
    How'd it go? 
    
    JOSH 
    [turns] Did you wait around for me? 
    
    Leo takes off his glasses.
    
    JOSH
    He thinks I may have an eating disorder. 
    
    LEO 
    [gets up] Josh. 
    
    JOSH 
    And a fear of rectangles. That's not weird, is it? [pause] I didn't cut my hand on a 
    glass. I broke a window in my apartment. 
    
    LEO 
    This guy's walking down a street, when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep. He 
    can't get out. A doctor passes by, and the guy shouts up "Hey you! Can you help me out?" 
    The doctor writes him a prescription, throws it down the hole and moves on. Then a priest 
    comes along and the guy shouts up "Father, I'm down in this hole, can you help me out?" 
    The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a friend 
    walks by. "Hey Joe, it's me, can you help me out?" And the friend jumps in the hole! Our 
    guy says "Are you stupid? Now we're both down here!" and the friend says, "Yeah, but I've 
    been down here before, and I know the way out." 
    
    Josh looks at him.
    
    LEO [cont.]
    As long as I got a job, you got a job, you understand? [gestures to Josh's hand] 
    You wrapped that yourself, right? 
    
    JOSH 
    [raises eyebrows] The bandage? 
    
    LEO 
    Yeah. 
    
    JOSH 
    Yeah. 
    
    LEO 
    Okay. Donna's gonna take you to the emergency room. 
    
    JOSH 
    She knows? 
    
    LEO 
    She was the one who guessed. 
    
    JOSH 
    I don't need the emergency room. 
    
    LEO 
    Come on, it could be infected, you could have a thing. 
    
    JOSH 
    What thing? 
    
    Donna enters with Josh's coat. 
    
    LEO 
    How the hell do I know? 
    
    JOSH 
    Leo...
    
    DONNA 
    Let's go. 
    
    She helps Josh on with his coat.
    
    JOSH 
    See you later. 
    
    LEO 
    Okay. 
    
    Josh and Donna leave. Leo stands for a minute then leaves. Carolers can be heard singing 
    "Carol of the Bells." 
    
    CUT TO: EXT. THE WHITE HOUSE GATES - NIGHT
    Carolers are singing outside. Josh and Donna come through the gates.
    
    JOSH 
    I don't need a doctor. 
    
    DONNA 
    Are you a doctor? 
    
    JOSH 
    No. 
    
    DONNA 
    Then be quiet. 
    
    Josh and Donna stop in front of the carolers. Josh listens with a distant look on his 
    face. Donna looks at him. 
    
    DONNA
    Josh? 
    
    JOSH 
    Yeah. 
    
    DONNA 
    Let's go. 
    
    JOSH 
    Okay. 
    
    Donna leads him away. The carolers continue singing, while sirens can be heard. As the 
    carolers end their song, we --
    
    DISSOLVE TO: END TITLES.
    FADE TO BLACK.
    THE END
    * * *
    
    The West Wing and all its characters are properties of Aaron Sorkin, John Wells 
    Production, Warner Brothers Television, and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended.
    
    Episode 2.10 -- “Noel”
    Original Airdate: December 20, 2000, 9:00 PM EST
    
    Transcript By: Giorgio, BumbleLion, Joshsgirl, Irene and LocalGomer8

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